"Daddy, I Want to Be White"I was thankful that when our middle son, Zumbi, made that statement we were pulling into park. If he made the statement while driving, I might have crashed. I remember coming up and having my own self hatred issues. Like many of my peers coming up, I secretly desired to be white. Thankfully, I was pulled out of that much when I was 16. Yet that is another story for another day.
It is important that I give a little background on Zumbi. He just turned six in October. His other names are strong African names. Heck, I even named him after a revolutionary Latino or two. He even has a coloring book of his namesake and a DVD with a powerful capoeirista named Zumbi. His siblings also have inherited the names of powerful Afro Latinos. He can point out Paul Laurence Dunbar before Jay Z. As a matter of fact, he doesn't even know who Jay Z is. I can pull out pictures of notable African and Latino political and community leaders and he can name them. All of our children get healthy doses of Fela Anikulapo Kuti, Erykah Badu, Mos, and Mongo Santamaria. Our home is haven for conscious folks to come and build. We have our own library. I consistently talk to my children about Harriet Tubman, Ida B. Wells, El Hajj Malik Shabazz, Father Allah, Martin Delany, Arturo Schomburg, Hubert Harrison, Ganga Zumbi, and several other heroes and sheroes.
Zumbi is no slouch either. He prefers listening to Martin Luther to Chris Brown. He enjoys the illustrations of Ezra Keats over Maurice Sendak. At school, his teachers explain to us how he mediates disputes among classmates. At home and at school, he makes sure everyone gets a fair shake. Zumbi is all about family. He prefers to camp out with his family at home instead of going out. He makes sure that his siblings are straight before he is.
I am sure every parent says this about his or her child but Zumbi is extremely handsome. I know what you are thinking, but you have to see him to catch my drift. Like all of our children, Zumbi is very popular. A popularity that eluded me as a child but he seems to carry with ease. He doesn't make a big deal out of it. People are quickly attracted to Zumbi and shower him with compliments. And yes, the ladies love them some Zumbi.
This is why his statement came as quite a shock to me. It's not like we aren't involved. Not that we should get any awards for doing our job. Zumbi is well loved and taken care of. I expect to hear that from children who don't have that. That's where I was wrong. So part of it has to do with my parenting. There was some component that I missed.
As we walked to the store to make a purchase, we talked about it.
"Why would you like to be anything other than what you are?" I asked.
He shrugged.
We all stopped. And I crouched down to look him in the eye. His big brown eyes met mine without hesitation.
"Who is the Original Man?" I asked.
He paused.
"I am the Original Man," he said quickly.
"So why would you want to be nothing other than the original?"
He shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, we love you the way you are. You are handsome, bright, well mannered, and a wonderful young man. I am proud to call you my son. You are Zumbi, named after Ganga Zumbi, protector from evil spirits. You are a scientist and a super hero, right?"
"Yes!"
I am sure that is not the end of it. I am sure we won't hear the end of it. I remember when my daughter was in preschool. Her teachers pointed out how there was a group of girls in her class who were causing a little trouble with the other children. Here were a group of 4 year olds flocking around a girl who was "light skinned" and had "good hair."
Yes, four year old girls! I wanted to call a drop squad in that piece. I wanted an intervention. My wife had to calm me down. I ended up talking to the mother of the child. Of course she was oblivious even though the teachers told her on numerous occasions what was going on.
It would be easy to lay the blame squarely on that parent. Let's be real. We are consistently bombarded with images of a standard of beauty that is not ours. And we eat it up. I hear adults joke all the time about people being dark skinned or people with kinky hair. Some will say that it is all in jest. Yet those things are hurtful especially when we deal with the history of non white people in this country.
I see how we treat children who are fair skinned. I hear what we say to them. Yet we hold compliments to those who do not fit the criteria. Again, we shrug our shoulders and act as if those words don't hurt. They do and they affect how people feel about themselves.
Look at the celebrities we hold up. We big up Beyonce and Michael Jackson. Children see that. We refuse to discuss those issues seriously and instead joke about it. Of course, our miseducation doesn't help.
We are told that we need certain things or to look a certain way to be happy. These things we filter down to our children. Children are very observant. Children like adults, are social creatures and just want to be loved and accepted. First, we should be careful around them. Some of the things we do and say are very harmful. Second, we should always express to them how we feel about them. We should always love them and hug them. Tell them that we are there for them and that they are great the way they are at that moment. Third, we should be honest with them and discuss these serious matters of self hate. Where did it come from? Why in 2009 are these ideas being perpetuated? We should study alongside them the history of images and how people see those outside of their communities. We should discuss the impact of slavery and racism.
It sounds like alot but it's still alot without even discussing it. It is heavy baggage even if no one says a word. We want our children to be critical thinkers and we want them to make sound decisions. Most of all, we don't want them to do something deliberately that will bring harm to them. Right?
Labels: arturo schomburg, images, race, self hate, self love, standards of beauty, Zumbi
"It's not about race or class..." --
How politicians to be drop the ballSince living in Dayton, Ohio, I have really avoided discussing local politics even though I find that politics is definitely local. I stay abreast of what's going on but for some reason, I have not bought up the issues we have here in Dayton. Like the rest of the "rust belt," the city of Dayton has been on an economic downturn way before the recession hit the rest of the country. It is in a sad state of affairs. It will take more than a handful of politicians to really pull Dayton out of this one. Let's be honest, it is a daunting task and one that needs everyone to chip in. Of course, this provides an ill backdrop to any local election.
Dayton, like many cities in Ohio, are corporations that have city commissioners that run the city through a city manager instead of a city council under a ward system. The mayor acts like a city commissioner and has very limited power. Thus, the mayor in Dayton acts more like a figurehead. Our current mayor, Rhine McLin, is running for her third term and has several years experience as a politician in Ohio. As usual, I was going for the independent, Gary Leitzell.
Ironically, Leitzell's blog, This old crackhouse, was the first Dayton based blog I followed. Although I didn't agree with the things he said on his blog, I dug him and promised myself that if I saw him on the street, I would offer to buy him some coffee or a drink. When I learned he was running for mayor I thought that he was somebody I can support. He seemed like he genuinely cared about the city of Dayton. He had an uphill battle if he wanted to go against an entrenched incumbent like McLin. Then he opened up his mouth.
Here are some of the things he said:
You are more likely to be moraly or ethically irresponsible if you lack a certain level of education but there are plenty of educated rich people who behave irresponsibly. I think that assorted statistics would indicate that African Americans are more tolerant of irresponsible behavior within their culture. It doesn't mean that they accept it, it just means that they tolerate it more or longer than other cultures. Certain irresponsible behavior is acceptable as a way of life and may not be considered to be irresponsible. This means that other races or cultures perceive that a group of young African American youth standing at a corner are more likely to have irresponsible members within their group then say a group of Asians, Middle Easterners or "white" people. They are identified (unfortunately) by the color of their skin and broadly stereotyped by this perception they they could be irresponsible people.
Most of the crime in Dayton is being committed and repeated by the same handful of irresponsible people regardless of color. The police have this same perception when they stop a young African-American male driving a Mercedes. They don't stop him "because" he IS black (and they hate black people) they stop him because he is identified by his skin color as being a member of a culture that has a higher tolerance for irresponsible behavior and there is a greater possibility that the car is not being driven with the owners permission. It is less likely they would stop an Asian or an Oriental youth and more likely if the person looked like a punk rocker, regardless of skin color. This is called racial profiling. It isn't necessarily right but it isn't racism.
Now there were other things he said before and after this that were not as bad but not something you would mouth to someone especially on line. I posted this one entry since I want to shut down anyone who says "you're taking it out of context..."
I must note that in the beginning he said "This is not about race or class..." but I left that out on purpose. There is so much here that is really about perception and YES race and class. I think it says much about a person when they try to make a point by trying to exclude a particular subject or subjects (such as race and class) and then go on to rant about that subject he or she wanted to excluded (such as race and class).
Sorry Mr. Leitzell, you lost my vote.
Do I think he is racist? I highly doubt it. Is he promoting racial stereotypes, fabrications, perceptions? Oh hells yes. Is he promoting institutional racism? Oh hells yes. Let's do the math.
First, he says that statistics will show
that that African Americans are more tolerant of irresponsible behavior within their culture. He doesn't provide those statistics. So if he doesn't show the numbers, he is promoting racial stereotypes and perceptions. As an aspiring politician, I expect him to show and prove. If he can do that as a citizen, then I honestly don't want to vote for him.
When people see a group of African American males on a corner, they are responding to perceptions provided by the things they see on TV or in a newspaper. Let's be frank. Most of us don't have close friends outside of our won race. So if you don't know any Iraqi's personally, most of the time, you will assume that what you see on CNN applies to all Iraqi's. I run into people all the time who make blanket statements about Iraqi's. It's sad. And no it doesn't make it right.
Leitzell goes on to say Most of the crime in Dayton is being committed and repeated by the same handful of irresponsible people regardless of color. Okay, show me the numbers. Last time I checked the Dayton Police Department (DPD) and their
crime statistics, I noted that they did not break down crime by race. If this is the kind of person who wants to be mayor of Dayton, then I have to ask him to step out of the race. Again he is promoting racial stereotypes.
Leitzell says "racial profiling" isn't racism. According to Amnesty International
it is. I am sure quite a few law abiding African Americans and people of non white ethnic groups can tell you the same. Not to mention the fact that it also allows police to do illegal searches of the vehicles of innocents so it is also a constitutional matter. While I should give him props for saying that it is wrong but it is also racism and it has to be called out. Leitzell also has to be called out for being wrong.
I never expect anyone to be politically correct. However, if I am voting for you I am saying two things: 1. I find you to be the most qualified for that position at this point in time and 2. I expect you to make mistakes but not bad enough to put everyone in a worst position that we were before you came into office. Leitzell has done just that since I refuse to vote for McLin and I don't believe in the concept of the "lesser of two evils."
As a politician, I expect you to be much more careful in how you choose your words. If you make a statement, back it up by facts or introduce people who are experts on the matter. I do the same thing and expect no less from someone who will be in charge of several things that have a major impact on my quality of life.
Will I still offer Leitzell a drink? For sure. I also will have a book to give to him to give him a little insight on where I am coming from.
Thank you, sir.
Labels: b-boys in Dayton, commissioners, Gary Leitzell, racial profiling, racism, Rhine McLin
Supaman Killaz Presents: Green Rocksfeaturing
ZMO and Dj KryptoniteEPs are a very smart thing to do. They are probably smarter than doing a mixtape. I encourage artists to drop an EP here and there to keep their fans satiated and to just provide dope music in general. EPs are about five songs long. It's easier to narrower the subject matter down to a few dope tracks. There is just a large amount of wack material out there to muddy through. So EPs keep it short and sweet.
ZMO, an artist I have followed for several years, teams up with Dj Kryptonite to give us Green Rocks. Eight short joints with some samples of some super hero shows in between. Short and simple and to the point.
It is obvious however, that ZMO and Kryptonite wanted to provide us with filler material. None of the tracks really stand out. The beats are dope and eerie but ZMO doesn't come off. It is easy to see that he is out of his element here. Normally ZMO writes songs based on themes which he does very well. On Green Rocks, it comes off like ZMO just opened up his rhyme book and started to recite the first thing he found.
For example, the track "Rock any Hometown," one would expect ZMO to rock any hometown. While the track is hypnotic, it doesn't really snap one's neck. ZMO, who is not a wack MC, doesn't really rock any hometown either. Lyrically, ZMO doesn't really come off even though he is no slouch.
Don't get me wrong, ZMO does his thing whether on his own or on a team yet on Green Rocks he falls short. I am sure on his next outing he will do much better.
Labels: Dj Kryptonite, EPs, Supa Man Killaz, ZMO
The Honeymoon Period Parte DoisThe Honeymoon period is not just something that can happen in a relationship. It can happen at a job, school, or a new set of friends. Yet for some reason, when the novelty wears off, we all spend a large amount of time and effort trying to bring it back to "the way it was" or the way things used to be.
I often hear people lament that he or she "is not the same person I met in the beginning." We have to blame that on that extended interview. Like all things, we can't go back to the way it was. A good number of us wish we could return to the days of our adolescence. Some are still stuck in the past of their glory days. Like in most relationships, it's not going to happen.
Dan Ariely in his "Predictably Irrational" discusses that one of the reasons people continue to make the same terrible decisions over and over, like refusing to leave a bad relationship, is our aversion to loss. Humans have this innate aversion to loss. It's part of the reason why we see something on sale that we don't need but we purchase anyway because we have a fear of returning to the store and missing that sale despite the fact that we don't need that particular item at all.
This is one reason why you often hear people make statements about going back to the way things were and staying in a dead end relationship. Many will ask, what is the loss if the relationship sucks anyway? Well, that's why we continue to make irrational decisions over and over. It's also another reason why we have to be careful during this honeymoon period.
During this period our mate can do no wrong even though he or she might say or do things that might be counter intuitive or even disturbing. I recall many a female friend admitting to me that their current boyfriend calls them the b-word on several occasions but they let it slide in the beginning. However in month 9, there is a problem. I have heard many a male friend explain who their current girlfriend never returns their phone calls in the evening. They often admit that it was always like that but they let it slide for one reason or another. Now in month 10 there is a problem.
Let's face it, when we are at a new job we are often told by co workers about our new boss. Most of time, we ignore those warnings. We even see our new boss wild out on an employee or two but again we chose to look the other way instead of looking deeper into it. Then in month 6, we "see" our boss' true colors. Now we have a problem.
To be continued...
Labels: Dan Ariely, Predictably Irrational, The Honey moon period
Where the Wild Things Aredirected by Spike Jonze
Review by
Dan Tres OmiWhen I first heard that Spike Jonze would be directing the movie adaptation of Maurice Sendak's classic children's story, I was very skeptical. First of all, the book is very short. There might be about 25 whole sentences in the entire thing. While I have read the story at least a million times and find it to be delightful each time, I don't think there is enough of a story to make into a full length movie. Despite all of the critical acclaim, I am not a huge fan of Jonze. I actually didn't think he would have been the best director tapped for this gig.
Yet Jonze shines. The movie beats the hype. Jonze does a superb job of bringing the story to life. Jonze minimizes the use of CG and it works. The monsters look like they crawled out of Sendak's book. The dialogue is simple and easy to follow along.
In the movie adaptation, Max the protagonist, is the youngest in a family going through a tough divorce. His mother works all the time and his older sister is in the midst of her adolescence and like most teenagers, just doesn't have time for her younger siblings. After throwing a huge tantrum, Max runs off and the story we remember begins.
Children might find the first 15 minutes of the movie to be slow. Jonze is providing a back story to Max. He avoids using a score for much of the scenes with Max and his family. As soon as Max ships off to the island where he encounters the monsters, the score blazes to life. Like in the book, Max jumps into the fracas between the monsters and quickly becomes their king. He immediately states that he will make all their problems go away and fix everything. The monsters quickly believe him. That's when the trouble begins.
In essence, Max goes from being the child to the parent. The Monsters are intellectually children. Unlike children we know, these will eat you up if you don't make them happy. Max does his best to calm their fears, settle their petty squabbles, and find new ways to keep them occupied. Max slowly begins to realize that their irrationality is quite similar to his.
That last touch is what did it for me. I had to go back to the book. Although, the book doesn't imply that idea it makes perfect sense. Max stumbles upon a dysfunctional family and realizes his family is not that bad after all. I think we all can relate. This is what makes the movie wonderful.
Labels: Maurice Sendak, Max, Spike Jonze, Where the Wild Things Are
The Struggle ain't that BeautifulI really dug how Talib Kweli used the title, "the Beautiful Struggle." I dug how Ta'Nehisi Coates used it for his first book. I have seen other folks from different genres of music and art use it skillfully. Yet I have to say that from personal experience, the struggle ain't that beautiful.
Coming from a single parent home in an immigrant family had it's moments but I could have done without the struggling part. I don't know about most of you but getting those cut off notices each month, sharing clothes with your siblings, eating government cheese, and fighting off roaches and rats is not an ideal childhood. Being harrassed by the cops, living in drug infested neighborhoods, and hearing so many gunshots you become numb to them is not the way to live. There is no bragging to be done there. All that stuff makes you want to do is leave and forget it all.
Somehow, someone came up with the idea that living in those conditions makes one humble or someone with better moral standards then someone who came from a well to do or a rich family. That is the biggest crock of bullsnacks I ever heard. It's amazing to me to encounter how mad people get when they interact with someone who is from a middle or upper middle class family when it comes to the topic of poverty. It's as if we had a choice in who are parents are. We are quick to call someone bougie when they have no clue as to how some of us are raised. Well, duh, of course they don't. It's just like trying to relate to someone who grew up in Afghanistan, you aren't supposed to relate!
We assume that just because someone is better off than we are financially that somehow they are morally inept. As if living poor somehow makes us as similar to ascetic monks. I don't think class determines one's morality. One's upbringing will help to determine whether one grows up to be moral or not but I don't think that if one is raised in a poor environment it will increase the chances of that person becoming Mother Theresa. I know some poof mofo's who will steal your shoes in a heartbeat.
What bothers me the most however are people who are "slummin'" it. These are the folks who come from well to do or rich families and act like they don't. I have encountered quite a few rich folk who have also drank the "beautiful struggle" kool aid and actually deny their inheritance. I find this to be delusional and sad. For those who come from non white families, those fortunes or access to more economically diverse social networks didn't come easy. So they should be proud that their parents worked hard to achieve their success.
People need to get off this idea that economic hardships are cool. We need to stop romanticizing being poor or struggling. It's not cool. It's not hip. For a great number of people it is not the cool thing to be in. It's not easy and it is definitely not something to brag about.
While I am proud of the fact that I came out of the PJ's and don't see myself returning to that time. I also don't want to see any of my children or grandchildren experiencing those hardships because they don't need to and because we worked very hard to get out of that. Do we visit our folks there? Of course. Do we support those who are still there? Always. However, I don't have to glorify that struggle or make it seem like it was such a cool thing to do.
Labels: Middle class, poor, The Struggle ain't that beautiful, upper class
Mediocrity: A Demon we must killOmi's Note: This piece was inspired by an essay writing by Supreme Understanding Allah in the Knowledge of Self Anthology.
I agree with you reader, there are other things I can write about. Like Barack Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize while folks in Afghanistan are getting their homes bombed or big company execs are walking away with bonuses after driving their companies into the ground to maintain private jets. While I really try to stay off of this self responsibility bandwagon, this is a matter I see personally almost every minute of everyday and I have to address.
Even when I looked at the definition of mediocre, my blood boiled: " of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance." Why the beef? Well, quite frankly mediocrity is something we all seem to expect from almost everyone.
We accept low paying jobs, corrupt politicians, bad cops, drug addicted relatives, terrible mates, poor behavior from our children, horrible schools and an even worse education system, and I can go on and on. For quite a few of us, there is little alternative. I will admit that there are some things we can control and some things that are beyond our scope. Yet I have found that more often than not we accept very poor substitutes.
I turn on the TV and hear people say the damnest things. People are asking for accolades for doing things they are supposed to be doing. I see people not holding it down and folks refusing to hold them accountable. I see people do terrible things and then refuse to accept the consequences.
Some will argue that we are living in the last days. Others will argue that only divine intervention can help. This sort of thinking stems from a less than mediocre education and a even less than mediocre belief system that doesn't work at all.
The solution?
We have to put that demon called mediocrity in our cross hairs and pull that trigger.
For some this would mean disciplining one's children. For others it would mean cutting off that person who mooches off of us. Quite a few will start looking for a better job. Some of us will go down to the school and let these administrators know what time it is. For quite a few of us, it would mean doing so much more.
While I find that there are systemic wide problems that continue to contribute to our conditions whether in the Bronx or in Baghdad, there are quite a few things that we can fix ourselves. It is definitely not some red faced guy with a tail and a pitchfolk. The demons are much more familiar to us then we care to believe.
Labels: demon, mediocrity
