Have kampilan, will travel

2012-02-01T07:36:00.002-05:00

Golden Age, Smolden Age

I can get nostalgic as much as the next person especially when much of hip hop culture was something I was seeped in as a youngblood. Like many of my peers, I participated in so many of the elements. I b-boyed and tagged my way through NYC. I rocked mics as I got older but I always return to my top rocking and getting up roots. Even at 38, I debate with my wife about my habit of tagging when we travel. When I hear any song by the Jimmy Castor Bunch or an old Rakim track, I get goosebumps. If I am with my children, I start blabbing away about growing up in NYC in 1981. We all get nostalgic especially when things aren't the way they used to be.

The other day, I had the opportunity to build with some teenagers. One of them bought up the concept of the Golden Age. He pointed out that hip hop culture is about to hit forty and that it is too young to really have a Golden Age. At first, I was offended but I held my tongue. A few weeks back, I went off on an older cat at a comic book convention who was offended by the fact that I thought the Golden Age of comics (1930s until the 1950s) was extremely overrated.

For hip hop music, the Golden Age is considered the period between 1988 and 1992. Again, that is a relatively short period especially for the scant four decades that the entire culture has been around. I remember that during that time, even most black radio stations refused to play hip hop music. With the exception of stations like KDAY and Norfolk, Virginia's WRAP, most stations played hip hop music during the Friday or Saturday night mixes. Every now and again, a hip hop song would make it to an R&B chart and you might hear it during the day time. For most of us, we listened to hip hop music on pause tapes. Some of us were lucky to hear a tape of the Cold Krush Brothers if we leaved outside of the New York Tri-State area. Let's not even discuss that there were no academic pieces on hip hop culture. Most media outlets even claimed that hip hop culture would not last past 1990. Unlike today, there were no college courses or classes provided by community centers on anything hip hop.

Of course Hollywood attempted to cash in and released a slew of horrible movies on hip hop culture (until this day, I still find that "Wild Style" is the ONLY hip hop movie of it's kind). There was only one documentary released in the early 80's, Style Wars. There were only a handful of hard to find books on the topic as well.

I am not saying that we should say we are currently living in a Golden Age, even though looking back we might say that the turn of the century was a Golden Age for hip hop culture. I am just asking us to rethink what we dub the Golden Age. While it is true that during the period we are discussing, it was very easy to own every hip hop album release during that four year period and there was a diversity in what was being played, but I hesitate to say it was a "Golden Age." During that time, we saw an emphasis on the MCing aspect of hip hop while most of us ignored the rest. Most of the hip hop music being played and discussed only came from a certain region of the country. I find that calling that era the Golden Age neglects the rest of the culture and the country.

I have no doubt that many of my peers will shout me down. I understand, I was upset when someone pointed out the fallacy of believing when the Golden Age was. It's easy for us to assume that "our" time was the best time. I am sure that many of you might recall that many of our parents and elders lamented the missing quality of music during that period. I am sure many of you remember a parent or grandparent cussing about how hip hop music wasn't music at all. Sound familiar, right?

2012-01-26T07:26:00.001-05:00

Politics is local

As a youngblood, I had the wonderful opportunity to work for a local politician who was running for a Congressional seat. We were also supporting another candidate who was running for State Senate. I just turned 16 and it was such an eye opener for me. When I watched Marshall Curry's "Street Fight," those memories came flooding back. I learned two lessons from my time working in a campaign. The first one is that politics is a dirty business. I can understand how someone with noble intentions can go in and become a snake. The business will do that to someone. The second lesson is that politics is local.

During presidential elections, it seems like every other person on the street is an expert. Everywhere I go, folks wax poetic about their candidate or the other person's candidate. People get into it as bad as Superbowl picks. Yet when I ask them who their state senator or their congressperson is, they are mum. What's up with that?

I listen to liberals and conservatives alike talk about the constitution and why their party rocks but they can't tell you what the First Amendment actually says. They can tell you why they like Presidential candidate A but can't tell you their governor's first name. I have traveled to other countries and when it comes to local politics, folks go hard. During mid term elections in this country, the polls are empty.

I look at Presidential elections like beauty pageants. The person who looks and talks the best gets the most air time. The one with the best slogans and photo ops gets the most shine. The President actually has the least amount of influence in your city. It's the mayors (if your mayor has executive powers), city council people (if you have a ward system in your city), state congress people and state senators, and finally congress people in Washington. While Congress has popularity numbers that are at an all time low, NO ONE is pushing to get any of those folks out of there.

In my opinion, that's why things are dire when it comes to politics. We weren't paying attention and what belongs to us has been sold piece by piece. I have seen City Council people have secret meetings and no one say a word. I have seen Congress people take stacks of dough that they knew was dirty money. I have watched elected school board officials drive out good teachers and effective administrators and no one lift a finger. That's real and that's something we can fight very quickly with only a few people.

The power is always within the people, we just have to remind the politicians of that.

2012-01-24T06:36:00.001-05:00

First Confession of 2012

I never thought I would ever get to this point. I have been writing for close to 15 years now and I never had an instance of writer's block. I still haven't. For the last two months of 2011, however, I literally refused to write a word. I have all these ideas swirling in my head and I would not put my fingertips on my keyboard. I didn't even tell my wife. I didn't write any letters or blog posts. I kept my tweets to a minimum.

Much of it has to do with my 9 to 5 which continues to increase our work load and I seem to spend more time typing reports than anything else. After hitting the road for 4 to 5 hours a day and then typing for 3 hours, I don't want to look at another screen for two more hours. Then again, I think it was more than a funk than anything else.

I felt this way a few times in my life outside of writing. I remember attending Rock Steady Anniversaries in the late nineties. We would drive up north to NYC and attended about 7 to 8 hip hop oriented events over the course of 3 days. On the drive back south, we wouldn't even listen to any music. If I heard another hip hop song during the following week, I would shut it out. It was just a complete refusal on my part to participate in anything hip hop oriented. I would even avoid hosting or organizing any shows for another week. That's the best way I can describe it.

Well, I am out of that funk. I enjoy writing and plan on doing more for 2012. Thanks for riding with me folks.

2012-01-05T07:38:00.001-05:00

New Year's Resolution 2012

As usual I am late with my resolutions. December usually speeds by so fast for me. This year was a little different since I spent most of the month away from home. I thought I would have more time to think and read, but I worked so many hours each day. The weekends I spent visiting a whole gang of folks. Of course there are those who claim that resolutions are worthless. While it is true that large numbers of people give up on their resolutions by the end of the first month, I don't think we should neglect the effort. It's a new year, so many of us try to shed old attitudes, relationships, and habits. It's not an easy thing to do.

Personally, I attempt to resolve so many issues and usually I complete most of them. I can say that I only missed two last year. One was to publish my first book and the second was to gain 10 more pounds. I did gain 4 pounds so that resolution wasn't a complete waste. So 2011 was another year I moved forward. I think we all can use a little improvement even if it's in increments. Better to move forward than not at all right?

I noticed that in 2011, I did everything harder. I trained harder. I worked harder. I played harder. I studied and read harder. I loved harder. I spent more time with our family and did that even harder. I am thankful that I did because I accomplished so much more. I feel stronger and much more alive. I am enjoying the fruits of my labor. In 2012, I plan on doing those things much harder.

Here we go:

1. Publish that damn book! 'nuff said

2. Travel abroad with the family. At least one place.

3. Make it to Chicago. I know it sounds nuts but we have traveled to every city in the mid west except that one. So yes, we shall make it there.

It's a short list. That's on purpose. So 2012, here we go.

2011-12-21T00:07:00.000-05:00

Technology: Does it Help or Not?

In less than two years, I shall be 40. While I am enjoying my late thirties, I really try not to do the old fogie dance. You know when we close to middle age folks lament about how things were in our day or how we did things better when we were children. Lately, too many of my friends who are my age are complaining about technology. Whether it's an ebook reader, smart phone, or digital camera, they always have something to say about it even if they used these forms of media as much as I do.

Like most people I know, I enjoy meeting new folks and interacting with them whether it's in person, Skype, twitter, or Facebook chat. I love the fact that now I can interact with people on so many levels in so many different ways. At one time, I too saw technology as a hindrance. I came kicking and screaming into Facebook and I swore never to use Twitter. Yet here I am actually meeting on line folks in person in different cities and loving it. Have there been trolls and folks who look to sabotage a great conversation or debate? Sure there are but there are people like that all the time just go to any lecture or presentation and you will find trolls there as well.

I know for many of us, these new ways of interacting can be strange. I will admit that some of us post some crazy stuff on our statuses. Yes, there is an etiquette on line that people seem to trample on when they have an audience. And yes, there is such a thing as bad parenting and some folks on line go out of their way to show us all that they were raised in a barn. However, I find that most people on line like most people we encounter face to face, are generally good. Yes, even those who drunk tweet on Saturday evenings.

Despite our misgivings about social media and new communication devices, technology is here to stay. More and more folks will shop, date, read, and interact using smart phones and tablets. We are still human when texting. We are still human when Skyping. That is something I know we won't forget. As the years pass and technology continues to evolve, we shall adapt as we have been doing for over millions of years.

Personally, I feel that technology should enhance our interactions. I remember being in the Navy and just able to write and receive letters while out at sea. While visiting ports, we had to find places that charged inexpensive long distance phone rates. We saw our family and friends in pictures and later VHS tapes. Today it is extremely different. When I travel for work, I can video chat with my family. Friends at events I am missing can text me pictures or videos of the event. I can link up with folks indifferent cities via twitter. I can google directions and send them directly to my students with pictures of landmarks and all. I can write a piece and have a conversation with people all over the world within moments. In the mornings, I drink coffee and discuss politics with West Africans. At night, I trade ideas with fellow capoeiristas around the globe. I join in on weekly evening discussions on topics ranging from hip hop to education. I do this with people I interact with on a day to day basis in the coffee shop, barber shop, school lobby, class and at home so the technology I use only enhances and expands that experience.

The problem lies when it's the only interaction we do. Of course, too much of anything makes you an addict. Having strictly on line interaction with folks is dangerous because the expectations and the motivations become fantasy. We can't always have access to what we want at our fingertips. Go to a cafe and see what happens when the wifi goes out. Folks act like there is a tsunami going on. Or when you see people walking and texting when it's a beautiful day. I have witnessed people cussing at their phones while texting on a line in a retail store.

Folks should spend more time outside. People should go for a walk with a loved one. We all need to have at least one conversation with a total stranger in person. We are humans and we need that social interaction. Losing that physical face to face on a daily basis is what scares me. Ultimately, technology should enhance that experience and not replace it.

2011-12-18T21:56:00.003-05:00

The Real Terror isn't the Sandusky's of the World

Even though the news and the stories about Jerry Sandusky is disturbing and shocking. As a parent, Martial Arts instructor, and mentor to several boys and young adults, this news angers me. I have realized very early that there are predators out there who seek to harm those we love. As a child, someone tried to molest me. Thankfully, I had family, friends, and school officials who were quick to protect me and ensure that the predator wouldn't hurt anyone else. From what we have been hearing about Sandusky, is that it was not the same for his victims.

It seems as if every ten minutes a victim comes forward whose family did the lawful thing and inform the authorities or a school official. Each and every time those authorities failed to do the lawful thing. If anything, the worst part about being a victim is when he or she turns to the people that are supposed to help and are rebuked. Then the victim watches as the victimizer continues to harm others despite all of the efforts by the victim to see justice done. It is much worst when that victim is a child.

A very long time ago, I have come to grips with the reality that our world is full of monsters. There are monsters who would eat at your table and commit horrific acts on people we know and love. It's a hard pill to swallow but it's the sobering truth. The thing is, many of these monsters are allowed to prey each and every time. In the Sandusky case, we see that people continued to drop the ball even though several victims and their families did what they could to seek justice.

I worry that people in authority who are supposed to protect our children will do the same thing that was done with Sandusky each and every time. What message does that send to our children? What does it say about the rights of victims? While we know that Sandusky will go to jail, what about the people who worked with him that failed to do their part? What about all of those law enforcement agents, school officials, and mentors who didn't do a thing? Will they be outed, fired, suspended, or charged with anything?

If a close friend comes to my house and plans a crime openly on my table and then commits a crime and I do nothing to stop that friend or contact the authorities, I am guilty of conspiracy. In some states I can be charged with that exact crime even though I never actually committed said crime. Shouldn't that be the case with Jerry Sandusky's friends and co-workers. While Penn State University loses revenue and future students, it's not justice. Many of the people who knew about Sandusky's crimes and helped to cover it up are still working there. None of them will lose their jobs or see the insides of a jail. What message are we sending to our children?

While I can't be everywhere my children are, it is my duty to listen to them when someone hurts them and then do what I must to seek justice. That is part of being their protector. This same protection is extended to their friends whether I know them or not. Yet if my children see that the protection I provide is inadequate, how will they continue to live as full human beings? I expect this sort of protection for those who I leave in their care. The same question has to be asked of them.

I do not hesitate to remind my children that there are monsters in this world. We have long, hard discussions about that. There are great people in this world. And most people are generally good. I remind them of that as well. I tell them that because there are monsters we should not ignore the good people. I also remind them that we are in this together as part of humanity. History will not just us as victims, it will judge us as how we responded to the monsters. It will judge us on why we allowed too many of them to walk around and harm people. It's not history that I am worried about however, it's our children. If we allow the Sandusky's of the world to walk around, then I am more worried about us then the monsters.

2011-11-10T00:06:00.002-05:00

A Note on the Occupy Movement

As a historian, I get wary of comparisons. My spider sense also goes crazy when people don't reference history. I find the Occupy Movement to be wonderful and to be quite honest, as much faith as I have in people, I expected my children who are now in elementary school and one about to enter college grow up to do something like this. I knew it would happen but not this soon. That being said, I see a growing number of people either loving or hating it. Those that hate it continue to use a myopic view of the Civil Rights movement as a standard.

Many detractors of the Occupy movement are claiming that it's actually a small percentage of people who are involved in these demonstrations. They are right about that one. Then they go on to say that it wasn't like this during the Civil Rights movement of the Sixties. The detractors claim that everyone was on board. This is a total myth. Like most movements, a small percentage of the people are involved with the protests and demonstrations. As the movement grows, which the Occupy movement is doing, higher percentages of people join. Yet most people are either observers or complacent about the entire thing. Ask your relatives who were around. Find out how many organized, marched, or donated time and money. You will be surprised at how few were involved.

I hear several detractors claim that they don't know what these Occupy folks are about. Well, if you are getting your news from the mainstream media you are not going to know. If folks actually listened to what the organizers of Occupy Wall Street were protesting about (through independent media outlets and internet sites), they would know. Ironically, its because of the corporate controlled media that those who are dependent on those sources are clueless. All you have to do is march right on down to your city hall and asked the protestors.

Many critics say that there are no central leaders like the Civil Rights Movement. While we believe that the late great Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King was THE leader of that movement of the Sixties, we are wrong on that part as well. The first myth most people are taught is that what happened in the sixties was a homogenous movement comprised of one organization with a set of goals. The second myth was that King was the defacto leader.

During the Sixties, there were several regional groups with their leaders and their own goals. The March On Washington in 1963 was a coalition of groups and many leaders spoke that day from all over the country. It's just that King's speech was the most memorable and inspiring. Although King's speech is considered one of the best delivered in the history of this nation, it didn't really lay out any plans as compared to his peers on that stage. It demonstrated that King was an inspirational leader and he bought many young people into the movement because of his charisma. There were several people like the recently deceased Fred Shuttlesworth, Bayard Rustin, Ralph Abernathy, Fanie Lou Hamer, Ella Baker, John Lewis, and others who did the work but have been relegated to the background or not mentioned at all.

We must remind folks that King and the SCLC did not have any influence on cities in the Northern part of the United States. This was something that frustrated King and members of the SCLC. There were regions of the country where the NAACP were influential. There were regions of the country where the SNCC were strong. In the south, folks were focusing on fighting voter suppression and desegregation. Some parts of the country were fighting for better pay. Others were fighting police brutality. While all of these issues fit under human rights, each region had particular methods of insurgency. The entire story of what happened from the forties up until the Seventies has yet to be written.

We see the same thing happening with the Occupy Movements. As we are witnessing in Oakland, folks are organizing against police repression which what folks in the Sixties in Oakland were doing. Other cities are focusing on helping the homeless. So we see several issues and tactics being used. Like the Civil Rights Movement, the leadership is decentralized. All you have to do is walk down there on any given night and you will find committee meetings and discussions on procedures, tactics, and allocation of resources.

While it has similarities it isn't the Civil Rights Movement. The Occupy Movement has to be different. It has to be better. It has to use different modes of communication especially when the usual forms of media are controlled by the very forces they are railing against. So if one is looking at the Occupy Movement from a traditional lens, you will not get the entire picture.

2011-10-19T07:41:00.002-04:00

From Child Student to Parent Student

My mother, un campesina, made it to the third grade. My father, un campesino, only made it to the sixth. When I learned this as a child, it came as quite a shock. We were raised to believe that education was the key to social mobility. It was something that could not be taken away from us. Instead of buying a bike for us during the summer, invested in an encyclopedia set. As a child, I didn't argue much with my mother so I had to settle for the encyclopedia set as much as I wanted the bike. And yes, all of Ms. Castillo's children are college educated.

When my mother learned I could read at age five, she armed me with a library card. When I walked into the library in Loisada, New York City, I was in awe. My library card was my passport to the world. I remember my mother not being much help when it came to homework. At first, it was kind of tough. Thankfully our schools had after school tutoring at no charge. After awhile, we got the hang of it and did our homework on our own by helping one another out.

Despite my parents limited education, they put college in our sites very early. I think the best lesson my parents taught me is that education is much more than going to good schools and getting a good job. They saw it as something that was community based. They instilled in us that education should enrich the lives of everyone. My mother who advocate for mothers and children who had difficulty in school. She would use me as a translator. As a child I was annoyed by this. I didn't have any problems in school so why should I help? Looking back I realized how much of an education my mother was giving me.

As I grew older, I began mentoring young people. It is something I do to this day. It was something my mother instilled in me at a young age. It is easy as parents to just have tunnel vision and worry only about our own children. "Somos reponsable!" My mother would demand of us when it came to our fellow students. Today I find my wife and I at the school doing exactly what my mother did for other parents when were little. It's more of a habit than anything else.

I learned quickly as a parent that we needed to take it a step further. I noticed that several programs that were around when I was a child were being cut. It wasn't just in our school district but all over the country. Teachers were being fired and after school programs were being slashed. As usual, textbooks remained outdated and some schools are in dire need of renovation. Children of color continue to lag behind their white counterparts. I had to learn how my tax paying dollars were being used to help those in and outside of our school districts. I learned the names of the school board members right away. I never thought I would be the parent yelling them down during board meetings. I thought that was simply nuts but it is essential at changing policy.

I realized yet again, that raising children is another piece of education. Learning how politics, education, and economics are connected was something I didn't see coming. While politics were always a focus of our discussion growing up, I never saw the big picture. Then again, my mother did much of the fighting we never saw. As parents, we have to do much more than read to our children at night and help them with their homework. We have to demonstrate to them that education is much more than books and schools, it is about access and community power. Education is about empowering not just ourselves but our community.

2011-09-19T07:21:00.001-04:00

Capoeira: Never Old, Always Young

When you enter a new roda (circle), you get butterflies in your stomach. This is natural. You are going up against people you don't really know. It kicks clocking at an average 50 mph, anything goes. When the game gets faster and the energy is intoxicating, it's easy to get carried away. It's easy to see an opening, take it, and put someone on their back.

The scary part is when you get a handful of young hotshots enter the roda. You know the type. It's like if they came out of their mother's womb with a six pack. They literally eat, sleep, and breath Capoeira and always get down topless no matter the weather. They usually bring the level of energy up several skyscrapers.

I am 38 and I don't rock like I used to. So going into these kinds of rodas is daunting. While I don't hesitate I do take stock. I watch intently before going in. The kid in me takes risks but not as much as I usually do. I enjoy these encounters since it forces me to go back to the lab and train some more. It gives me an opportunity to prove myself. I take pride in the fact that I can go into a roda over and over again like the energizer buddy. Of course, it takes a large amount of work to be able to maintain that level of energy for a long period of time. I would also be a liar if I didn't admit that when I am done, I crash hard.

There is a thing to be said about aging. Many of us go kicking and screaming in our later years. I am by no means "old," but it feels that way sometimes. I never hear anyone call anyone else washed up when it comes to Capoeira. There is a high attrition rate when it comes to Capoeira. I have seen folks come and go. So for someone to say they have been training for 5 years is a feat in of itself. It's not just the level of training that has to be maintained. Capoeira or any martial art for that matter can get expensive. Sometimes life catches up and time is not as generous as it once was. Folks have to make sacrifices. So staying in Capoeira for over 3 years is not just a physical feat. So most folks in Capoeira show a large amount of respect to those who stick with it.

Now Capoeira is not the fountain of youth. The years will not peel off if you train 3 days a week. I will admit that in the roda, I do feel like I am 17 years old. It explains why capoeiristas of old claimed that they were possessed by long dead warriors and the orishas when they entered the roda. You literally feel like you can fly and have bullets bounce off your chest. This is due to the adrenaline pumping, the music, and the rising of the testosterone levels in the room.

I am surrounded by young people in Capoeira. Usually folks my age are mestres. The energy is great though and they keep me young by making sure I stay on top of my training. Like any martial art, you are giving respect by your peers by the time you put in. Even if they can drag me through the floor, they still can't party as hard as I can.

2011-09-10T11:43:00.001-04:00

Beats, Rhymes, and Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest

As we get older, a good number of us become nostalgic at least once a day. I know I do. While hip hop culture is essentially youth culture, we tend to lament about how things were in our day. So when a documentary like "Beats, Rhymes, and Life" comes along, we do everything in our power to round up the old school crew together and go see it. If Michael Rappaport did anything, he put us all on a time machine. Literally, it felt as if we all put on the same pair of headphones and pressed play.

The film is glossy and fresh. You can feel the Native Tongues vibe oozing from the screen. It's as if the album covers from the first three Tribe albums were enlarged and wrapped around the audience. I don't know if that is the nostalgia bug chewing at my brain but that's exactly how I felt. The editing was wonderful and quite honestly, it's one of the better editing docs I have seen in a long time.

Rappaport starts the movie off with the 2008 break up at the Rock the Bells tour and then returns to Farmer's Boulevard and Linden to when Q Tip and Phife were preschoolers who met in church. Rappaport and his subjects do a awonderful job of removing any ideas of the break up from that point on. We see the love and the good vibes that made the group many of us aficionados grew to enjoy.
So when things fall apart, the audience is still surprised.

The movie then takes us to the meeting with the Jungle Brothers and Tip's first production credit ("Black is Black...") and verse on "the Promo." The audience is taken through the production and atmosphere surrounding the first three Tribe albums. We found ourselves rhyming along with the score. It felt like church. For many of us, it was. Then it's all downhill from there.

There are several little things that Rappaport does that really stand out. Like the discussion over Phife's verse on "Bugging Out." You just couldn't leave that one out. You could feel the audience nod in agreement. Or when Pharrell Williams waxes nostalgic over the sample of "Bonita Applebum." You couldn't help but get goosebumps when Mos Def and Tip recited the verse from "Excursions." Or when Tip explains who he found the drums for "Can I Kick It?" It's those little details to just made the movie much more wonderful.

There were a few elements that were missing such as Afrika Bambaata (although Zulu Nation was mentioned several times) and Phife's dis records about Q tip after the initial break up but Rappaport knocks it out the park. I could not find a reason why Q tip urged his fans not to watch the movie. Sure, the audience meets Q tips ego throughout the film but isn't that why we love him?

Hands down, this is probably one of the top ten hip hop documentaries that folks must see. I took one of my students to watch this film. He was five years old when "Midnight Marauders" was released so he missed this entire era. Yet when Pharrel Williams explained that there would be no J Dilla, Kanye, or Pharrel if it wasn't for Tribe, he got it.

I highly recommend watching this movie with a crew and then having a discussion afterward. Rappaport packs so much into this film. It could have been longer and I am sure many writers and directors will pull many ideas from this film. And like a Marvel Comics movie adaptation, stay for the credits.

2011-09-08T07:32:00.001-04:00

Capoeira: Respeito

If I had a nickle for every time someone said, "Capoeira looks good but I don't think it's an effective martial art," I'd be a rich man. Of course, as I became more experienced with Capoeira, I would proceed to demonstrate how effective it is. This weekend while training with Tuzinho, he discussed perception. It was tremendously practical to what we went over. In any martial art, you want your opponent to perceive you about to execute another movement, feint, and then attack. It's how you win a battle right? Sometimes sheer strength and speed is not enough.

Too many people perceive capoeira as just an art and not Martial culture. It's a dance to most people even to it's practitioners. I encounter many professional dancers who have taken a class or two and then list themselves as a "capoeirista." That is a lack of respect for Capoeira. There are many reasons for this. If we expect anyone to respect Capoeira as a martial art, we should try to attack these particular issues.

Of course like most problems we face today, there is historical context. There is also what is called myopia, where we assume that certain things happened several hundred years ago without providing any proof whatsoever. It's a way people like to harken back to the old days of yore when in actuality much of what they assumed happened in the past didn't happen that way at all. If Capoeira was not an effective Martial art, would it have survived slavery? If it was not effective, would I be practicing Capoeira today? There are several forms of martial arts that never made it to the modern times. There are forms of kung fu or karate that people stopped practicing for a number of reasons most notably because the practitioners died off. So if Capoeira was inferior or not up to snuff, we might not be even discussing it. Don't get me wrong, there are styles within Capoeira that are no longer around. Yes, there are more than one style of Capoeira.

There is a myth that we really can't pinpoint as to the origin of it that needs to be addressed. People, not historians, often say that Capoeira was disguised as a dance so that the slave masters wouldn't recognize it. I am so glad that the movie Besouro addressed this matter when the villains pointed out to the capoeiristas that they know what they were doing. It's like that myth that slavemasters removed the belts from their slaves so that their pants would sag and they wouldn't run (as if our ancestors weren't smart enough to just make another belt or use rope!). It's not true and no one can prove it. The dance part was put into Capoeira in the early part of the 20th century because of the later influence of Candomble. Before this, moves like the ginga were not a part of Capoeira. In several parts of Brazil, most forms of African culture were banned except in places like Bahia which is still considered the heart of Africa in Brazil. No matter the origin of this myth, it puts into people's heads that Capoeira is just a dance. So people perceive it as such. Once we consider it a dance, everything else falls by the wayside. That's why people trip when someone walks away from a roda beat and bloodied.

Part of the blame falls on the practitioners. We continue to treat it more of an artful dance and tend to ignore the martial aspects of it. We usually accept everything we are taught and question none of it. We assume Capoeira has always been this way. We promote the unifying and good things about capoeira and neglect the deceptive and bad parts about it. Yes, it's delusional. When someone deliberately kicks someone else in the face, we cry out that this isn't capoeira. Even African Americans treat slap boxing like a martial art as simple as it is. While its all in jest, slap boxing teaches the practitioner how to box. Sometimes slapboxing is fun and sometimes it leads to a real fistfight but that's the point of it.

As Americans we have this fetishizing of all things foreign. We do the same thing to Capoeira. We see a Brazilian and we automatically assume that they have this "in" when it comes to Capoeira. Like they can explain all the aspects of Capoeira. Let me say this, the most experienced Capoeira can't tell you everything about Capoeira. They are not ancient men who can float. Brazilians are people just like me and you and have just as much to share with us as we do with them. We treat Brazilian Capoeiristas like greek gods. They bleed just like us and make mistakes just like we do. We treat Capoeira like a religion because it is foreign to us. We think that once we start playing capoeira we become part of some mystic circle of shaman. Well, we don't. We are still the same people we were before we started playing capoeira. We might be a little smarter and know some more stuff than the average bear but Capoeira does not give us deeper insights as to the secrets of life.

If we want folks to respect Capoeira, we have to respect it first. We have to study as much as we can about it. We have to look at the good as well as the bad. We have to stop treating it like a religion and see it for what it is: a martial art. As a Martial Culture created by oppressed peoples for liberation and then later used by the same people to tear sh*t up.

2011-09-07T07:24:00.002-04:00

Jogo de Vida

I almost forgot. I have been in this jogo (game) for ten years. It wasn't a straight ten years. There were some times when I never even listened to a capoeira song. Life caught up to me and I had to stay away from class for a few months. That happened more often than I wanted to. Yet it stayed in my heart. At work, I would ginga just to get my blood running.

It has been a long journey though as short as it may seem looking back. I made so many friends from around the world and had many opportunities come my way. Its been fun even during the bad times and yes I have stories.

People ask me so many questions about Capoeira. One question they ask much more than any other is why do I love Capoeira?

That's a really good question. I dabbled and continue to dabble and study other forms of martial arts. I am a b-boy and enjoy learning new forms of dance. Yet Capoeira is what I stick with. When I first started Capoeira I used to give the usual stuff. "Oh it's so beautiful," or "it's so African." Much of it is what we call "capoeira hippie" stuff.

As I began study the history of Capoeira, I realized that it was much deeper than that. It's a deeper discussion that should be had over a cup of coffee. It's about the fight over time and space, one that oppressed peoples have been doing and have creative wonderful forms of culture especially those that are martial. It's about socializing and interacting within those spaces.

I have been to places where rodas (circles) were welcomed and places where rodas weren't. If there is a constant in those rodas is that there are people who want in. For one to be a good capoeirista one must play against other capoeiristas. It's not about breaking boards or winning fights, since those things don't mark a true martial artist. In so many words, it is the interaction that I love about Capoeira. Some will say, "well you can go to a hip hop concert and meet people." This is true, but Capoeira forces me to go back to those people over and over again.

I also sweat, bleed, laugh, and cry with those people. I watch those people reach their limits and keep going. I watch the strongest break down and give up. I witness as folks with injuries push on to learn a new movement. Someone else might argue, "Well, you find that in all martial arts." That is true as well but guess what? We have the music and the instruments to learn. There is a socialization that really brings us together. The roda truly cannot function properly without enough people singing and playing instruments. The more the merrier.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all roses. I have met people I really don't care for and it shows. It's not always a love fest. Capoeira rodas are reflective of the greater society. Too many people come into capoeira expecting it to be about love and happiness until they get kicked in the face. Yes, yes ya'll, Capoeira can get violent. Sometimes too violent. What would you expect with a bunch of muscled folks kicking at 50 miles per hour?

In the end, it's been a dope ride. It's one I will continue to stay on until my heart stops.

Stay tuned for more.

2011-08-14T12:08:00.000-04:00

The Children Challenge Us, Once Again

I knew the conversation was coming up sooner or later. I should have headed them off at the pass. What many people fail to realize that for most black and brown children in and outside of the ghetto, police brutality is a stark reality. The real tragedy in all of this is that it's a reality that all governments, police departments, and the mainstream press continue to ignore. The UK riots is another example of this. While everyone focused on London burning, many failed to realize what sparked these riots.

So of course the babies challenged me. Why all this talk about peace if everyone else isn't on the same page. I was asked this question not just by our children but other children I work and encounter on a daily basis.

If we look at the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, and now the riots in Europe (folks were wildin' out in Greece, too), things are getting hectic. Don't get me wrong, we teach the babies the concept of cause and effect. These things don't happen in a vacuum. As we discuss the course of history, the children note that in most cases the voices calling out for peace are drowned out and ignored.

It is difficult to attempt to evangelize the concept of peaceful settlements when obviously one or two sides refuse to come to the table. When discussing gangs, I normally bring up the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and how gangs like those two factions are fighting over limited resources. I do this to show how this pathology is not something only found in black and brown communities in the inner cities around the world.

Our children aren't stupid. They can analyze the news sometimes better than we can. They can see through the nonsense.

"Dad, how come no one is talking about the boy who was killed?"

or

"Brother Danny, why you want us to be about peace when a police officer can kill me for nothing?"

It's scary to hear them bring that up. I am known for being prepared for almost every question (ask the wife) asked by the babies. I know what I want to say when they ask these questions, but how do I convey that our position should be calculated when it comes to matters such as this?

We are warriors and I make no bones about it. I understand that many of us are in situations in our lives where violence is constant and apathy is the rule. And yes, there are days when I feel like a complete
and total hypocrite when I stress the importance of maintaining a level head and thinking your way out of a volatile situation.

At the end of the day, I want our babies to live and not just survive. I want to raise the quality of life of the children in our homes and communities. I want them all to have equal access. I want them to not be afraid of those who are supposed to be protecting us.

So what are we going to do about it?

2011-08-01T22:48:00.001-04:00

Kylen English, Police Brutality, and “Those” People

In the last few weeks, folks in Dayton, Ohio have been fuming over the mysterious death of Kylen English. In the first few hours of the discovery of his death, the Dayton Police Department and the Dayton Daily News both continued to issue conflicting reports of this incident. While the coroner's office has found that English committed suicide, it bothers me that:

1. The Dayton Police Department continued to issue conflicting statements and half truths about English's death.

2. Dayton Daily News did the same thing.

3. The reactions from everyone except the English family and the black community in general.

When there is a death linked to police brutality, several things happen. The first is that everyone immediately calls for the black community to calm down. This implies that we are only reactionary to these incidents. It's crazy to watch people flock down to city hall to question law enforcement authorities and local governments about these incidents and then watch as the local media, clergy, and other so called "community leaders" urge us to chill the hell out. I scratch my head at this. We are law abiding citizens. Why would we riot? Don't get me wrong, the riots in Cincinatti in 2001 and in LA in 1992 were crazy, but when you do the math, they are actually the exception instead of the rule. We will protest, write letters, go to city hall, and have discussions on this, but most of us don't riot. Most of us don't shoot back at police.

Another thing that happens is the victim's police record, if there is any, is published the next day in the paper. You hear many people, even within our community, explain that if the victim wasn't doing dirt, he or she might be alive today. When it comes to English, that may be correct. What business did he have messing around with a minor and then trying to kick down her door. Yet does this warrant abuse? Does this warrant death? English never had a record though just like many other victims of police brutality. What ever happened to guilty until proven innocent? Wait, that only applies to rich white folk. Yet often I hear people imply that we somehow deserve it.

The crazy part is that police departments across the country refuse to make the changes necessary to fix the problem. They might change of few tactics and teach "sensitivity training." They even ask people in our community to "cooperate" with their investigations when they never ask their fellow officers to "cooperate" in corruption scandals and police brutality cases. Ironically, most of their big arrests are because of informants so to assume that we don't cooperate is a sham. We honestly cannot expect police departments to investigate themselves. And they always refuse to allow an independent, community organization to do the investigating as well. Once police departments admit that they are part of the problem instead of those "bad apples," then we can take the proper steps to fix the problem.

Of course, the mainstream media is to blame as well. It seems that their job is to fan the flames by publishing half truths and smear campaigns against the victim and the family of those abused. They never ask the hard question and even publish racist statements. Of course, these leaves communities with no voices. With politicians on the side of the police and the press taking advantage of the situation, who speaks for them? That is another story for another blog post.

We have been talking about police brutality since the Slave Fugitive Act of the 19th century. Here we are in 2011 and we still have the same problems. Go figure.

2011-07-14T09:30:00.001-04:00

What we haven't passed on: Hip Hop culture

“Brother Danny,” one of my charges asked, “can we listen to the radio?”

Now even my own flesh and blood know not to ask to mess with the radio buttons. It's either NPR
or the classics bumping out of the whip. I decided it would be okay since my charges don't live with their father and don't really get a chance to go out as much as they want.

“Go ahead, bro,” I answered.

He tuned into the local “where hip hop lives station” and the latest track by the latest cat who begins his name with “Lil'” came one.

“This is what we listen to, Brother Danny,” he said as he began to bob his eight year old head. My 38 years of age began to weigh in on me as the little brother rocked to a song that was as alien to me as the latest bluegrass song. I did as any hip hop head would do. I slid back in my seat and listened to the track. I tried to listen to the lyrics. I noticed the artists lack of wit and delivery. The horrible cadence and rhyme scheme made me sick to my stomach.

It would be easy to write a piece lambasting these young turks who are trying to make a name for themselves but I would be over looking a much needed critique. Whereas the age set my charges are a part of (middle school to high school) see hip hop music as a form of expression, many of my peers see it as a culture. Don't get me wrong many of the teenagers my oldest son, Magnetik, hangs out with see hip hop as a culture comprised of several elements. My son has also explained that most of his friends don't see it that way.

So members of my generation, and this does not imply all of us, have a worldview that suggests that hip hop is much more than music while some members of my son and my charges generation see it as something altogether different. While it is natural to have generations look at a particular subject differently, there can be an explanation to this. As in any generation gap, there is always a debate about what can be considered art or culture and what is authentic, influential, and viable. While the younger generation might see something as old fashioned and dated, the older generation might see it as relevant and important. At the same time, the older generation might see something new as corrupt and vulgar, the younger generation might see the same thing as wonderful and vibrant. Fortunately, both groups tend to be wrong and right on several levels.

So there I was sitting there trying to absorb what was coming out of my speakers. I immediately wanted to turn it off. First, I didn't want to be seen listening to whatever it was that I was listening to. Second, I noticed that every other word was a cuss word and I realized that there are some people who cuss more than I do. Finally, I notice that the little brother was reciting the lyrics like he wrote them just like I did when I first heard “Rock Box.”

While I might consider, think, research, discuss, and debate the history and aesthetics of the culture, this young boy just sees someone discussing the realities in our world. He is a product of the crack cocaine era. His father is in and out of jail for drugs. He lives in a poor neighborhood and attends a public school that provides a lackluster education. To be frank, at his age I saw hip hop music as something where people who looked like me expressed themselves in a world where our opinion didn't seem to matter.

It is too easy to dismiss what he is listening to. On many occasions, I have done just that. If anything, what I should be doing is asking my generation what are we going to do about it because it is obvious that we have failed to pass on the history of the culture to his generation. So before we are quick to write off young people and how they have no respect for history we need to ask ourselves if we respected them enough to pass that knowledge on down.

While much of what we hear in the radio or on video shows may not be to our tastes but what we watched as children were up to our parent's tastes either. We should also remember that this generation came up strictly on hip hop music while we can remember a time when the radio refused to play it. I think we should take this as an opportunity to share and build. In this instance, hip hop culture could bridge that gap.

“Who's this on the radio?” I asked.

He looked up and smiled before he answered.

It's time to build.

2011-06-24T00:24:00.000-04:00

Fatherhood: Should we celebrate it?

Father's day always falls around the same weekend as my oldest son's and my mother's born day. So to me that was enough of father's day gift to last a lifetime. I prefer to just celebrate their days and we usually do whether we visit NYC or Virginia. My father was never really around so I never made a big deal out of father's day. My wife has always tried to make it a special day for me but having a wonderful family is enough for me so I never made a big deal out of it.

A few days before Father's day, I had to chance to build with several of my friends. To be honest, I never knew. Many of them were upset about the fact that Father's day doesn't get the same attention as Mother's day. A few of them were really angry about it especially when I remarked “I'm not a father just to win any accolades.”

A friend of mine also warned against the insults people will hurl around this day. Of course, I paid this remark no mind until a few days before Father's Day. Whether at a local barbershop, coffeeshop, or even on line, people had some really nasty things to say about dads. Some of those nasty statements came from people I love. Now I was offended and I don't agree with many of those statements but I could understand the anger. I also feel that much of it is uncalled for.

I had to urge my peers to really sit back and pay attention. As a collective, we have been slacking big time. I see it every day. I work with children whose fathers are just not there. As a matter of fact, most of my life has been working with young people whose fathers are gone for one reason or another. We don't need to do the numbers. We heard them before. As a father and a mentor I can say one thing: HELP!

I am not the one to point fingers because we can sit here all day. Despite my father's absenteeism, I forgave him a long time ago and counted my losses so there is no bitterness there. The question I have is what are we gonna do about it? People can talk until the cows come home about how a child needs a father in their lives but I don't see folks stepping up. The reason why we place so much emphasis on moms is because they are the ones doing the rearing. They are the ones left holding the bag when it comes to taking care of their children. So before we start riffing let's really looking at what is going on.

As fathers we have to more than just providers. We have to place more value in our parenting. I don't mean we need to provide lip service. Even in households with two parents, fathers are slacking. We have to be nurturers too. We have to deal with emotions and crying. We have to do things like cook and clean and yes change diapers. We have to pick up our children and drop them off. We have to join PTAs and deal with teachers.

Are there dads who are doing that? Sure they are, but I am getting tired of being one of two or three of us who show up and get busy. Some might say “well I have to work.” Yet I see menfolk investing time and money on sporting events with their friends. I want to see the same investment in that form of recreation put into our children. If that means you have to work an extra Saturday, then so be it because we will work that extra Saturday for that championship game. Once we see the value in our parenting, everyone else will.

Trust me when I say people are begging for us to those kinds of things. You'd be surprised how happy and inviting teachers and administrators are when they see father's show up. At the end of the day, it isn't about the accolades. It's not about props. It's about parenting and sacrificing. It's about being a parent and making sure our communities are better off than when we inherited it.

2011-06-23T00:15:00.000-04:00

When it comes to children, I hear a lot of talking...

You hear it often whether in a barbershop, coffee shop, or church.

“The youth today...” Or “this generation is the worst.”

Before we go any further, let's point out that when we were young, folks said the same thing about us. Don't get me wrong, there are things that have changed for the worst. There are some things that were built much better back in our days. Yet change is constant and it is important that we adapt. One thing I can say is that our youth aren't going to hell in a hand basket.

Of course, that's not going to happen if we involve ourselves. You can hear people talk about how this village is supposed to raise a child but most folks don't realize they are a part of that village. It's like we want someone else in a far off land to be that village. Saying “village” conjures images of an Afrotopia (not my term).

If the babies are wildin' out, its because we taught them how to do that. And trust me when I say this, it takes more than just fathers to fix the problems. It takes everyone: teachers, moms, dads, uncles, aunties, siblings, cousins, grand parents, coaches, and everyone else who teaches or nurtures. You'd be surprise how much of a difference you make greeting a young person with love and positivity. Instead we tend to duck our heads and look the other way. Then we link up with a colleague and gossip.

I am not saying that folks should quit their day job and start a non profit. I am not suggesting that you start signing checks with 6 digits and handing them out. There is much work to be done. Get in where you fit in. Whether it's mentoring, fundraising, mailing envelopes, driving folks, visiting people, writing letters, calling your congress person, offering someone a job, or any other thing that might be easy for you but extremely helpful to someone else. You don't have to be an eloquent speaker, wear a suit, have several degrees, or make a gazillion dollars. You just have to be a human being who is willing to help a hand.

Trust me, if we all chip in, the world will be a better place.

2011-06-09T07:49:00.004-04:00

(picture courtesy of Jim Witmer, Dayton Daily news)

SWAT: Oppression at it's best

A few weeks ago in Dayton, Ohio, a business owner's store and mosque was raided by the Dayton SWAT. I won't lie. I expected to hear the news discuss how this mosque was connected to some radical cleric. No, my eurocentric brainwashed mind was not given that idea. Instead, Imam Al-Idu Al-Gaheem was being served a warrant for food stamp fraud. Whether Gaheem is guilty or not is the issue. I am trying to understand why the Dayton SWAT team was sent into businesses and a mosque in the center of a black community. My youngest attends a school a few blocks down from these businesses.

My question is, why are we seeing a more consistent use of SWAT teams for the most minute charges? Gaheem was issued a warrant. Isn't a sherriff supposed to present this warrant. While it is true that Gaheem was accused of food stamp fraud before, it still does not call for the use of a SWAT team. After spending thousands of dollars on man power and equipment no charges have been filed although all of Gaheem's businesses are closed. That raises more questions.

I ask anyone to come to Dayton, Ohio particularly within the city limits. There are very few businesses there. It is virtually a food dessert as we have to travel to get healthy foods. Gaheem owns several grocery stores in this community. Now they are closed. This raises more questions. Unfortunately, the local media has not raised those questions.

I am sure that much of it has to do with othering. Even I got caught up in that. When I heard mosque, I thought the worst even though I drive by that mosque everyday and people greet me like family each time. I have visited Gaheem's stores on several occasions and have been treated like a customer who has been around for years.

SWAT teams are being used excessively ever since their inception. Please don't believe the hype. The movie white washes their history. When it comes to black and brown folk, they have been used as tools of oppression in almost all instances. While the case in Dayton, Ohio with Gaheem is a clear example of this, no one is raising questions.

2011-05-24T18:05:00.002-04:00

Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention by Manning Marable

A good number of people I know have several books about Malcolm X. As much information that we have between us, there is still a great deal about Malcolm that we know about. Much of the information outside of the autobiography as told to Alex Haley deals with Malcolm's life before he entered the Nation of Islam (NOI) and the two and half years after his departure from the NOI. We know very little about his tenure in the NOI, his relationship with his family, and the details of his trip abroad. Manning Marable covers so much grown in his extensive “A Life of Reinvention.”

I cannot recall in my lifetime a book that garnered so much attention before it was even released. While there is much in this book to cause a headache for several people who knew Malcolm personally, I find that the focus on the more personal details of Malcolm's life that we had no clue about are trivial. Marable covers so many things about Malcolm that are important to his ideological evolution. Instead Marable does four important things that we do not see in other books about Malcolm.

Marable extensively covers Malcolm's time in the NOI. It is until recently that Louis Farrakhan admits how important Malcolm's tenure in the NOI was. Marable through letters Malcolm wrote to Elijah Muhammad, interviews with long standing NOI members as well as Farrakhan, and access to NOI archives that no other scholar even know about, was able to detail his travel itinerary, speaking engagements, and interactions with the NOI and those outside of it. Before this book, only Karl Evanzz was able to produce anything of value through FBI papers released through the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA). Even during this time, we see Malcolm develop friendships with several prominent leaders that would prove extremely valuable later.

We learn through Marable that within a year of Malcolm's release from prison, that there were several high ranking officers in the NOI who began to covet Malcolm's meteoric rise. There were members of the NOI who were upset over this young Turk's power and access to Elijah Muhammad. Indeed, everyone knew that Malcolm's relationship to Muhammad was second only to his sons. It is no doubt that Malcolm's work in the NOI helped this organization grow in stature and power. His departure gravely wounded the NOI. So forces within the NOI were conspiring to destroy Malcolm very early. Marable also points out how Malcolm traveled throughout the country to settle disputes and hold court on many members of the NOI who broke the rules. Malcolm was harsh in disciplining the members of the NOI. This also helped build more animosity towards him from several low ranking members who had no recourse for appeal.

Marable maps out through several chapters the work between Haley and Malcolm on the autobiography. In my opinion, its the second most important part of the book. It is one that none of the critics of the book even acknowledge. It is clear that Haley's motives were purely financial. Haley saw a virtual cash cow. Marable points out that the book began late in Malcolm's life and there was so much going on. Haley had trouble trying to summarize much of Malcolm's ever changing ideology during that time. It was Haley's intentions that Marable finds troublesome. In the end, Malcolm never saw the final product. It was originally slated to be published by Doubleday but was dropped since Haley kept missing deadlines and demanding more time and money. Malcolm's assassination also seemed to much for Doubleday. Haley was right, it was a cash cow.

What we didn't know about the process of this book is that Malcolm wanted his part of the profits to go directly to the NOI. Outside of the advance, Malcolm did not ask for any money for his family. Despite his economic hardships during and after the NOI, Malcolm wanted to ensure that he was loyal to Muhammad even after his departure. In the autobiography, Malcolm wanted to make clear that his ideological evolution came as a result of Elijah Muhammad.

Thirdly, Marable details Malcolm's second and third trips abroad. It is during these trips that Malcolm develops the contacts that helped shape his world view. During these travels we see how the U.S. Government begin to see Malcolm as a target. Malcolm develops relationships with heads of state and revolutionary leaders in Asia and Africa. Abroad, Malcolm defiantly condemns the U.S. Role in maintaining colonialism in several countries. Publicly, Malcolm becomes a thorn in the side U.S. Foreign policy. Malcolm develops relationships with the expatriate community throughout the world. During this period, many see Malcolm becoming an international leader. Many also see him as representative of the plight of African Americans in the United States more so than anyone else.

Finally, Marable gives a blow by blow account of the events leading up to Malcolm's assassination. Marable clearly calls for reopening of the case. He also questions the FBI's and the NYPD's complicity in Malcolm's assassination. This is probably the most important detail in the book. Two men, Norman 3X Butler and Thomas 15X Johnson were wrongly accused and convicted. The four other assailants were never tried. Many of the informants for the FBI and NYPD were never revealed. Marable presents more than enough evidence to call for a full reinvestigation. There were forces in the NOI, FBI, and NYPD that were indirectly and directly involved in this assassination and all should be bought to justice.

There is one fatal flaw in Marable's account and two minor ones. Marable does not detail Malcolm's first trip abroad in 1959 on behalf of the NOI. This is really no fault of Marable since many vital records from the NOI were destroyed or lost. When it comes to accusation that Haley was an informant for the FBI or an agent for the CIA, as many have claimed during the years, Marable does not provide any evidence to substantiate these claims. Most important is that Marable tries to summarize Malcolm's ideological trajectory as liberal democrat. He paints Malcolm as this reformer who saw some redemption in the U.S. Political system. While any biographer will try to paint his or her subject through their own lens, there is enough information about Malcolm to see that this viewpoint is wrong.

It was Marable's “W.E.B. DuBois: Black Radical Democrat,” that made me change my view of DuBois. Marable's last book did nothing to change my view of Malcolm. If anything, Marable humanizes Malcolm. He describes Malcolm as human as anyone of us. In the end, Marable maintains the dignity and respect that we always had for Malcolm. The book is truly a labor of love. While critics may lambast Marable for revealing several intimate details about Malcolm's life, there is so much that Marable reveals about him that are simply amazing and more gratifying. If anything, Marable strengthens our love towards the hero and sets a standard on how we view freedom fighters. He urges us to see them as painfully human and as flawed as we might see a family member. Marable asks us to see Malcolm as a product of his times and as someone who seized the moment. In the end, Malcolm still walks away the hero we have either wanted to wanted to be.

2011-05-13T19:17:00.001-04:00

To Brother George

Omi's Note: As a youngblood, I vowed never to go to a funeral or a wake. I thought that with Brother George's passing, I would break that rule then I thought about it again. Heading down south to his service would have forced me to cancel several engagements that were planned. Some of these engagements involved children in our community. I think that Brother George would have stood up and fussed about me doing that. So I decided to do what I do best, and write...

Brother George would correct us if we introduced him as Mr. George. That was how he was. In his store, “The Self Improvement and Education Center” on 35th and Newport Avenue in Norfolk, Virginia, he was the mayor. He treated everyone that came through those doors as family. Although the sign read that he closed at 7pm, one could walk in at 7:32 pm and Brother George would act as if he just opened. He was always behind that counter ready to help. His store was always open for late night building sessions.

So many people walked through those doors. While there, I got to meet the greatest and the brightest of people involved in the upliftment of our community. There was always a lively debate going on. Brother George stood watch to make sure none of us got out of line. If we did, he would immediately throw us out. What I love most about Brother George was that he listened to all, however he would not stand for anyone disrespecting or threatening anyone, so all ideas and opinions were allowed. One did not have to be afraid to speak his or her mind. Brother George also disliked rumors. If someone was talking about someone else in the community, he would kindly ask that person to stop and remind that person that the other was not there to defend himself. Brother George was fair and impartial.

Looking back, the only thing Brother George did that was a definite no no was to talk about Louis Farrakhan. “Brother Danny, don't go there, Brother. Don't talk about the minister.”

“My store is always open to the community,” he would say, “people and organizations will come and go, but my store will be here.” And I believed him.

Brother George let me run two study groups, one book club, and several meetings at his store. He was accommodating and helpful. His customer service was impeccable. When he received a shipment of Supreme Bean Pie's, he would call me up and save some pies for me.

It was not until his passing that I realized that I have known Brother George since 1996. He has seen me go from a young hot head arm chair revolutionary to a married community man with several children. When I needed advice, he was always there to give. If I just needed someone to listen to me rant, Brother George was that person. I valued his advice and he never steered me wrong. If he had an issue with something I said, he would softly and patiently point it out. A good portion of my ideological evolution came through speaking with Brother George.

Brother George was old school. In being old school, he was very private. I learned through others or in personal conversations with him that he was retired military and a retired long shore man. His wife traveled the world to help folks in countries on the periphery. He enjoyed telling me stories of his wife's travels. Speaking with his relatives, one would see that Brother George the giant was also a loving family man. There were times I would catch his wife scolding him like any wife would. I used to laugh at this since I could never picture him doing that. I realized that Brother George was like any man who has been married a long time: we are led by our noses by our wives.

Brother George doted over my children as if they were his own grandchildren. He often commended me for being a husband and a father. When I had issues he encouraged me to work them out with my wife.

“Brother Danny, you know what you need to do,” he would say patiently.

The most funniest memory I have of Brother George is when Brother Jay and Brother Fanon of ODU put together a play called “The Trial of Christopher Columbus.” I was slated to play Columbus' defense lawyer. Brother George who was the dutiful store proprietor was asked to be in the play. He refused but he allowed Jay and Fanon to video tape his scene in his store! Brother George came to the play and sat in the front. We cheered and could not believe he was outside of his store. He watched his scene and quietly walked out.

“I have to man that store.”

No one believes me when I tell that story.

Upon learning of his passing, I realized that I had no pictures of Brother George. I learned that only two of my children remember him. It made me see that as much as Brother George as someone who was there for me, I was not always there for him. I see that as much as I saw him as that older uncle, I was a horrible nephew. While I am proud to say that I am one of the few who knew his family, I didn't know much about Brother George's personal life. I asked so much from him but never took the time to learn about him or see if I needed to give.

I love Brother George and always will. His memory will only bring laughter to our home. He will be missed. I can safely say that they don't build them like Brother George. Although I have known him for close to 15 years, I still find it difficult to say Brother George instead of Mr. George.

I think this is the only time you will hear me say, Hail to the Chief!

2011-05-10T07:13:00.001-04:00

Our Hang ups: Men and Relationships

“Another serious issue is the concept of machismo that some African American males carry into Islam...Those who, like Malcolm, had converted while in prison often continued to bear painful scars, both physical and psychological, from that experience. Trauma can last an entire lifetime, and that Nation had no self help program to assist men in overcoming such emotional problems.” - Manning Marable, Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention, pp. 146-7

Reading Marable's wonderful tome on Malcolm X is definitely an eye opener. While the mainstream media tends to focus on the more juicy stories, I find Malcolm X's relationships with his peers, Elijah Muhammed, and his wife, the late Betty Shabazz to be the most interesting part of Marable's book. While it was clear that Malcolm loved these people, his duty to the Nation of Islam (NOI) and Elijah Muhammed was tantamount. It seems that all of these relationships stem from and were defined by his loyalty to the NOI. Marable implies that Malcolm married Betty because she was the ideal candidate to make the best NOI wife.

Marable also points out that there was trouble from the beginning. Much of it came from the hang ups Malcolm had before coming into the marriage. Like most of us, Malcolm distrusted women whether it was from the stream of bad relationships or the patriarchy we were raised in. Throughout his autobiography, Malcolm doesn't speak highly of the women he knew growing up. When Malcolm joined the NOI, he embraced it's fierce religious patriarchy. Many of us seem to follow the same pattern.

We have to look further when it comes to our intimate relationships. While most of us never spent a day in jail, we aren't raised to adequately address our emotions problems. Let's be honest, many of us are babies when it comes to that part of a relationship. When we add someone else to the mix, it only compounds the problem. I encounter many brothers who can't seem to get it right when it comes to communicating those issues. I have attempted to help quite a few brothers who have destroyed their relationships over the smallest of things. Things that they could have easily dealt with by having a brief conversation. So our hang ups are not just with patriarchy or machismo, sometimes that hang up is our emotional immaturity.

While many will jump up and shout “what about the sisters...!” Well, I am not a sister and I can only speak on what I know. However, that isn't my point. My point is that we have always held up Malcolm to be this man who was perfect in all ways especially with his personal relationships. With Marable's book, we learn that Malcolm is just like us: a regular all around brother who fell victim to patriarchy and refused to let go of that privilege. Like many of us, Malcolm was emotionally immature when it came to intimate relationships with women.

Marable's book is not only an in depth look at Malcolm's personal life, but it is also a mirror to the rest of us. Many of us saw Malcolm as the pillar of Black manhood. In one way we are correct. It is a flawed sense of masculinity. It is as flawed as that which we claim. In a sense, Marable's work asks to deconstruct not only Malcolm's masculinity but ours as well. So before we start the name calling or the immature emotional outbursts, let's really discuss this and get to the heart of the matter.

2011-03-29T06:00:00.001-04:00

A Secret for a good morning

Well, it's not really a secret. It's something a good number of my elders past down to me in particular my maternal grandparents. I would be a liar if I didn't say that mornings aren't tough. They are very tough especially when one has children and has to deal with a spouse who is not a morning person. Thankfully, Ma dukes groomed me into a morning person. She got me in the habit of getting up one hour earlier than required. It allowed me to enjoy what I love doing: reading. It also helped me get my materials for school together and brush up on any homework I rushed on. At 38 years young, I continue that wonderful habit even if I just got 4 hours of sleep the night before.

I have time to shower and shave and brush my gums which takes a good 30 minutes to complete. Then I get some reading and writing done. I also have a chance to just sit and think for a few minutes in complete silence. Then it's time to wake everyone up. Of course, I have fun doing that. I usually sing a song I made up to each child. I try to wait a few before I wake the wife up. Now that she works in the mornings, I really miss that. She looks great in the morning.

I usually take the youngest to school first since he has to be in at 7:30am (see? I am following in the tradition of Ma dukes). This is probably the best part of my day. I love his school. The secretary and the assistant secretary go out of their way to make me feel at home. So I am obligated to give them some small talk. Then I head to my youngest son's class. While there I joke with the classmates he had the year before. Then I might help the teachers get them into their morning routine of the describing the weather and telling us the day and date. Then I bounce out to talk to my son's teacher from last year. She is a former Black Panther Party member so we usually talk politics.

I usually hold the door open as I leave for these two elders. I know that there is a large handicap button that automatically opens the doors, but I love doing it for them. They are former educators for a total of 60 years between them and they still come in every morning to volunteer. It really warms my heart. I love greeting them and joking with them. They love to watch my son and I race to class. They always have nice things to say and crack the best jokes.

I also have the chance to interact with two other fathers. One who wears the best hats in the business. He usually arrives with his wife and daughter. It's good to see families moving like that. I also build with a dad who has a daughter in our old teacher's class. He usually walks his daughter to school from several blocks. If he catches up to us, his daughter and my son race to school giving me a chance to rest up!

I then jet back home to pick up the other two. Usually, my middle son asks a gang of philosophical questions along with my daughter who usually asks astronomy questions. I usually have to prepare the night before to attempt to answer these questions. It makes for great conversation. It's something I always wanted to do with my father. I go in with them to listen to their music teacher playing the guitar. He always takes requests. He can do everything from Bob Dylan to Duran Duran to Bob Marley and Ben Harper. Sometimes I bring my berimbau and we have a jam session. Well, I've done it twice and I need to do it some more.

My middle son doesn't want me to walk him to class so we part ways and I walk my daughter to class. I usually bug the boys in her class. They love to think they know it all. Then I head back downstairs to check on my middle son. I usually end up talking to his classmates to make sure they are behaving. Then I go check on the other classes I usually volunteer with. I spend about ten minutes greeting people with the teacher assigned to the front door. We usually make small talk with other parents about movies and upcoming events. Then I am off to work.

And yes I am so amped.

2011-03-28T06:45:00.004-04:00

So What's up with your Pan Africanism?

I notice that since the turn of the century, we have been hearing and noticing a gang of people make loads of cash who have started academic fields and written books on anything considered “post...” Whether it's post racism or post hip hop, we folks in academia eat it up. We turn around and let everyone that whatever it is, it's expiration date was the year 2000. Again, we should be careful. Just like the people who cried that Obama's meteoric rise to prominence was the post racial era, their assessment was dead wrong.

The other day, one of the teachers at my children's school and me had a discussion about bow ties. I quipped that when I see a brother in a bow tie, I automatically dig into my pocket for money to buy a bean pie or a copy of the Final Call. He agreed. Another teacher who was about 15 years our junior, explained that he did not understand the joke. We talked about how there was a time when the Nation of Islam (NOI) was on many busy corners peddling their wares. We explained how we felt safe around them and engaged with them and others into conversations we called “building sessions.” While some might say that the talk about Black nationalism and raising the consciousness in the black community during those days was just salad dressing, one cannot deny it's prevalence or influence.

Many find that these notions of Black nationalism or Pan Africanism outdated. Tommie Shelby, a philosophy professor at Harvard University does a wonderful job discussing this in his “We Who are Dark: The Philosophical Foundations of Black Solidarity.” Despite what we might think Black nationalism or Pan Africanism stems from, there is no doubt that it is something necessary in the 21st century.

Although we have stepped into the age of the internet, systemic racism continues to roll deep. Let's not even talk about social bigotry. While one does not need to be a Black nationalist to be anti racist, one can't help when someone of African descent follows this world view. While I don't agree that it is natural for us to have a knee jerk Black nationalist reaction when we see someone who looks like us get brutalized on TV, but we do have a mutual understanding of that struggle whether we live in the Bronx, New York or in Martha's Vineyard.

The question we should ask ourselves however is whether it's the experience of being oppressed makes us one. If that's the case, then we should reach out to Bosnian muslims or Irish catholics (which Paul Robeson did in his day). Then again, we should reach out to folks who have been under the boot because we shouldn't want that to happen to anyone else, right? Yet that is a post for another day. However, if systemic racism ended today, is there a reason for solidarity? Is there much more to our connection than our oppression?

I say yes. I say its much more than the music, the culture, the religion, and the conversation. I don't it's spiritual either. I can say that when we are in a room together and whatever music is playing, I see a particular rhythm. A rhythm that connects us. Some might say that is spiritual but I think its more scientific. It's more embedded in our DNA through our struggle and most important, our consistent interaction with one another on various levels. I think Dead Prez described it best in their song “Soul Power.” Again, I am not implying that it's something in the ether, it's just not as tangible as we like to think. Call it black consciousness because that's what I feel like needs to be raised.

In the 21st century, even without the recession, it seems as if we are under siege. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying we should kill whitey because trust me, that won't solve our issues. I am not even suggesting that when I was a youngblood that we lived in better times. I am just saying that a little love and solidarity wouldn't hurt us. Not just that emotional love but that economic love. Support our businesses. Support our farmers. Support our HBCU's. That's where its needed. That's where solidarity can really help instead of empty posturing. We can't forget that we should foster an atmosphere of consistently wanting to learn about ourselves and I just don't mean black firsts. I suggest demanding that several parts of our history become part of the historic narrative in school.

I am sure there are other ideas we can implement but the fact of the matter is, Pan Africanism/Black Nationalism is just as important as it was during the 20th century. Discarding it would do more harm than good.

2011-03-24T19:03:00.002-04:00

Revisiting Only the Strong

Let's forget the fact that I watched Sheldon Lettich's Only the Strong in the movie theater when it was released in 1993. While it was not a smash hit, it garnered a cult following even outside of the Capoeira communities (more on why I used “communities” instead of “community” later). Mention Capoeira at any dinner or bar, and you will get a gang of jokes about the ginga and several horrible mispronunciations. You might even encounter people who never saw the movie but laugh at the references. Despite this, many have forgotten that Only the Strong starred Mark Dacascos, the darling and energetic host of the world famous Iron Chef. After this movie, Dacascos fell into B movie limbo. Yet the unsung star of this endeavor was Mestre Amen Santo of Capoeira who is an adjunct professor at UCLA and founder of Capoeira Batuque. Mestre Amen did most of the choreography and fought to ensure that much of Afro Brazilian culture made it into the movie.

While I was familiar with Capoeira in 1993, I was not yet a practitioner. I wanted to see the movie anyway since it centered around the African Diaspora. The opening scenes take place in Brazil. I walked out of the theater singing “Paranue!” This was before the internet and schools in the United States were located only in the major cities. Finding a school was difficult. Bootlegging movies was also not a big deal so if you didn't see it in theater chances are you weren't going to see it again for a long time. While the hip hop/samba/capoeira hybrid score was horrible and the dialogue was corny, I thought it was a good movie that I would watch again.

Unlike several of my peers, I always wanted to get into Capoeira from the first jogo or game I witnessed. However, I was too busy b-boying/freestyling to look for a school. I joined the military and was always out to sea. However, when I finally became a practitioner, I noticed that almost half of my peers became interested in Capoeira because of Only the Strong while the other half learned about it through Tekken's Eddy Gordo. In the late nineties, the internet happened and VHS copies of the movie became readily available. When my oldest son became interested in the early part of 2003, I purchased a DVD copy of the movie. By that time, I realized how badly Hollywood appropriated it.

I found Only the Strong to be Capoeira's Beat Street. While Beat Street was many people's first window into hip hop culture, it's glossy and over done approach was evident. The actors were tremendously unauthentic. It was really the Rock Steady Crew and the Furious Five that saved that movie. Like Beat Street, Only the Strong is like the proverbial two edged sword. While both movies are clear examples of Hollywood appropriation of culture and space, they still managed to bring in so many people into the culture who might have never had that access in the first place if they never watched those movies.

Ironically, members of the Rock Steady Crew (RSC) and Mestre Amen both have discussed their frustrations with the producers of those films during the filming. Both of the RSC and Mestre Amen were the most important parts of these movies. Everyone remembers the scene at the Roxy between RSC and the New York City Breakers. The most memorable scenes of Only the Strong are the moments where Mestre Amen and his entourage played Capoeira.

I gave my son my copy of the DVD and denounced it every chance I got. The villain didn't even speak Portuguese but was from Brazil. It was so typically Hollywood. While Capoeira has been featured in several martial arts based movies since Only the Strong and we have witnessed Capoeira movements in almost every part of pop culture, no one has made a movie about Capoeira until 2009's Besouro. That movie is the ultimate Capoeira movie based on an actual person.

Fast forward again to 2011. My students love Only the Strong. Never mind the fact that 75% of my students are young enough to be my sons. They love the comedic value but watch it religiously as much as possible. My oldest son, Wasabe, asks me to watch it each time it comes up. He points out that I am missing so much. From the mouth of babes, right? So two weeks ago, I watched it again. Once you get through the tacky dialogue and the very outlandish outfits, it's actually pretty good.

I noticed that Dacasco's character focuses on the culture of Capoeira and not just on the movements. He introduces the instruments. As they train, he rotates his students on the instruments. He even gets his fellow teachers involved in playing music. The best part is that his focus is on helping the children. He provides an alternative to the violence around them. There is even a scene with Kikongo religious symbols. How Mestre Amen got that in there, I don't know. The berimbau is dominant in several of the scenes. They even throw hate on the U.S. Military training South American death squads.

So I take back what I said about Only the Strong over the years. Yes, I am eating crow. Then again, I can always blame it on too many martelo's to the head, right?

2011-03-10T07:36:00.001-05:00

Floating with the Giants

As I edited the video of my students the other evening, I realized that all of my students are bigger than I am. Don't get me wrong, I am and have always been a little guy. I am of average height but I have always been that skinny kid with the glasses. I have noticed that some of my students are taller than I am, but I guess that when I am with them I am so focused on instruction and getting the movements right, that I ignore everything else.

Looking back, I notice that most of the people I interact with in the Capoeira community are usually taller or bigger than me. When I say 'bigger' I mean someone with a lot of muscles. The Capoeira community is filled with those guys. Although, I have always been the little guy, I have never been intimated by this and yes, I do take my shirt off it gets too hot.

I love it though. I enjoy being part of a community where there are all shapes and sizes and no one judges on that aspect. The roda (circle) removes all of that nonsense. Your skill at playing the jogo (the game) and the instruments is what is judged. Don't get me wrong, I am not claiming that Capoeira is this place of peace and unity. We have our issues like any other community of people but skills is the name of the game.

It feels wonderful to be 38 years young and still be able to move with the youngbloods. I am still amazed at my stamina. I awe myself with my ability to think quickly on my feet. I appreciate the fact that I am still able to smile after getting kicked in the head. It just feels wonderful to float with the giants.

One of the reasons I stay in Capoeira is that it truly keeps me young. I have to work to keep up with folks but is work that I enjoy doing. I know I make it look easy but I didn't get this way by good genes. I can clearly see why so many people stick with. Another reason I stay in is the interaction. Capoeira is a social martial art. The roda forces you to apply what you learned quickly. It allows you to pick out what works for you and discard what doesn't. The roda forces you to break bad habits and develop new ones.

Of course the “roda” doesn't do this. It's the people inside and outside of the roda who help shape you. If you are short, you have to learn to play against people taller and wider than you. If you are slow, you have to learn how to play people who are fast. If you are old, you have to learn to play people who are young. If you are a smooth and fluid player, you have to learn to play against those who are aggressive and abrasive.

I have always played against giants. Then again, in life my obstacles usually are big. So bring on the takers. I got several tricks up my sleeve. I can also take a kick to the grill. I welcome it all. The sweat, the blood, the singing, the breathing, the adrenaline, and the initial hand shake before entering the roda.
Call me the trickster and watch out for the elbow!

2011-03-03T07:30:00.000-05:00

My 38th Born Day: Things I have learned so far

Yes, Yes Ya'll, I am 38 years young. I can't say time flies anymore because when I look back I realize I have accomplished so much and then when I look forward, I realize I have a long way to go. I got war stories and scars for days. My laugh lines run deep. I got a great family and great friends all over the world and I continue to make more as I continue to travel.

Hip hop culture and Capoeira has brought so much to our lives. Writing has opened so many doors for us. Everyday brings a new adventure. Although we go through our bad times, they pale in comparison to the good times and the triumphs.

With that being said, here is the list for 2011:

1. Every brother ain't a brother... - I know I said this before but its true. Just cause you look like me, talk like me, and come from where I am from, it doesn't mean you and me are on the same wavelength. We might not share the same interests. I am cool with that but it's something we need to set straight from day one.

2. Intimacy is important – I know I have been talking about this often but there is no piece of technology that can replace face to face building, leaning, touching, sharing, or vibing. Nothing. It's probably the number one reason why I play Capoeira. It's a martial art that needs the practitioner to interact with someone else. It is part of our DNA to want and need intimacy. We shouldn't deprive ourselves of it or live in these bubbles.

3. Again, the babies are the greatest – You can say what you want about young people. I love them. I love to hear them laugh and crack jokes. I love it when they are loud. I love it when they yell. They are not lost. They are not ignorant. They are not devoid of hope. I know and interact with many of them. Heck, I have quite a few of my own. They are inspiring, wonderful, loving, intelligent, bright, intoxicating, overwhelming, emotional, beautiful, and yes, they are young. They are our treasures and our future. We are them so discounting them so early spells our doom.

4. Things happen – I know I should have used the other term, but my mom might be reading this. Oftentimes we like to assume that when things don't go our way, that there must be a reason for it. Well, the universe don't have time for you. Sometimes things happen no matter how thorough our planning is. No one is conspiring against you and no Sky daddy has this mysterious plan for you. It's not that serious. Take the L and keep it moving.

5. Love unconditionally – I know some folks don't deserve it, but there are many who do. And you know what, the folks need that kind of love. If we had just a pinch more, this world will be a better place. How does that saying go? Oh yeah “love don't cost a thing.”

6. No one is coming to save us – Yeah, I say this often and relearn this lesson every day. Only we are going to be able to fix the problems we have. No one else will. Once we realize that, things will get better. And yes, I have faith in you.

2011-02-22T00:01:00.001-05:00

Capoeira and Women (particularly women of color)

I have been teaching Capoeira for close to 5 years now (give or take a year or two since I didn't actually teach a full class during that time). One of the most difficult parts of teaching Capoeira is recruiting women of color. There was a time when I thought that the issue had nothing to do with the way I recruited or taught the class. I assumed, like most privileged males, that the blame should be heaped upon women of color. Looking back, my posts on why women of color didn't attend Capoeira classes as much as white women were pretty harsh.

Over the last few days, after the fall out at Skepticon 3 (which is not a Capoeira event by any means), folks in the freethinking community have been conducting a harsh debate over how to bring more women into the atheist/agnostic organizing community. Many men showed their true sexist selves during those conversations. It was sobering moment as I realized I was kicking the same madness several years ago when I asked the question: Why aren't there more black women in Capoeira?

A few years ago, I placed the blame squarely on women of color. I never asked, “what could I do to bring more women of color into Capoeira?” While I recruit heavily to the point where I stop folks and give them the run down on Capoeira, I rarely do that to women. I might mention it if someone else brings it up, but if there is a woman around and I don't mention it. If she was a brother, I am bringing up Capoeira at least one time per third sentence.

I notice that when I do demos, I always pick male volunteers. I didn't realize this until one of my students joked me about it. I sat back and realized that he was right. Even if it's in a room full of women, I would ask one of my male students to volunteer instead of getting an unknowing volunteer from the crowd. Isn't that what a good sales person does?

When a male student explains that he won't be able to come to class for any reason, I try my damnest to
accommodate that student. For the few female students of color I had, when they bought the matter up, I just nodded my head and said “sorry.” In other words, I didn't go out on a limb for my female students as I did my male students.

There are some students who I provide special attention to. I don't shower love on my ace students. I shower love on students that have shown tremendous improvement when they initially expressed doubt. I heap a large amount of praise on them. I show them videos of their first days in my class. To be honest, I never really showed my female students that same amount of love no matter the skill.

Some will say, Travado (that's me folks in the Capoeira world), you're buggin' you are a great teacher. While I might beg to differ, when it comes to my female students of color, I have broke the rule when it comes to making that sale and keeping them on board. I just refused to admit it. Some might even argue, that women might be uncomfortable about being yelled at by a drill instructor type of teacher which I am by the way, but my thing is coming through that door is half the battle because Capoeira is hard work, homie. You get props just for showing up to class because I run my students through the ringer. Even in that instance I don't look out for the female students. When a male student has explained that a particular work out is tough, I give them tips or tone it down. I don't do this for a female student.

I agree, there are times when I am afraid that I might be too overbearing or I might come off as someone who just wants to get in the abadas of said female, but that is sexist thinking. All of my students will tell you I am open and give everyone space. I don't overstep my boundaries. I would be the same to my female students if I considered giving them as much assistance as I do my male students. Could their be problems? Of course, but if I approach female students with the same amount of caution as I do my male students, there should be no problem. The former argument is the same one used to exclude women from a variety of occupations.

So before I can lay blame on anyone else, I have to ask myself what am I doing to recruit the sisters? What am I doing to keep the sisters in the roda? Obviously, it is not much. So it's time for me to go to work.

2011-02-21T11:39:00.001-05:00

Omi's Note: Here is a piece I wrote back in May of 2008. Enjoy

For Omowale

May 19th, the born day of El Hajj Malik Shabazz who was known as Omowale when he came to the University of Ibadan in Nigeria.

Everyone knows that Omowale/Malcolm X is my hero. Since age 16, I have looked at him as a tremendous historical figure. Throughout my travels, I have convinced more people to look him than I care to count. Previously, I have written about how I admired his evolution. He went from Malcolm Little to Detroit Red to Satan to Malcolm X to El Hajj Malik Shabbazz and yes, Omowale.

My favorite thing to do is point out a few things only a few people knew about Omowale:

-- According to Dr. Jan Carew, his mother was an administrative assistant to the Honorable Marcus Garvey. His father was not just a preacher, but a spokesperson and fundraiser for the UNIA. His father was a handy man. His father was an electrician, carpenter, and a plumber.

-- Before Omowale wrote a speech, he would have meetings with Dr. Ben Jochannan (affectionately known as Dr. Ben) and John Henrik Clarke to get more information and to get help with research. Dr. Ben told me this himself several years ago.

-- Omowale said his heroes were Patrice Lumumba of the Congo and Paul Robeson. Robeson happens to be another one of my heroes so it is only right.

-- Omowale was the only African from America to sit on the Organization of African Unity (OAU) and thus started the Organization of African American Unity (OAAU). The OAU was the precursor to the African Union (AU).

What I also admired about Omowale was his discipline. His wife always commented on this. It was his discipline that I try to match everyday. Of course, I fall short each time but I get up and try again. The brother was self taught. Carter G. Woodson said that self education is the best education anyone can get. Trust me, it shows.

People have asked me, what makes him so relevant to the 21st century. Well, let me use his words for that:

...We must understand the politics of our community and we must know what politics is supposed to produce. We must know what part politics play in our lives. And until we become politically mature we will always be mislead, lead astray, or deceived or maneuvered into supporting someone politically who doesn’t have the good of our community at heart. So the political philosophy of Black Nationalism only means that we will have to carry on a program, a political program, of re-education to open our people's eyes, make us become more politically conscious, politically mature, and then we will -- whenever we get ready to cast our ballot, that ballot will be -- will be cast for a man of the community who has the good of the community of heart.

...In Washington D.C., in the House of Representatives, there are 257 who are Democrats; only 177 are Republican. In the Senate there are 67 Democrats; only 33 are Republicans. The Party that you backed controls two-thirds of the House of Representatives and the Senate, and still they can’t keep their promise to you, 'cause you’re a chump. Anytime you throw your weight behind a political party that controls two-thirds of the government, and that Party can’t keep the promise that it made to you during election time, and you’re dumb enough to walk around continuing to identify yourself with that Party, you’re not only a chump, but you’re a traitor to your race. ...

Today our people can see that we’re faced with a government conspiracy. This government has failed us. The senators who are filibustering concerning your and my rights, that's the government. Don’t say it’s Southern senators. This is the government; this is a government filibuster. It’s not a segregationist filibuster. It’s a government filibuster. Any kind of activity that takes place on the floor of the Congress or the Senate, that's the government. Any kind of dilly-dallying, that’s the government. Any kind of pussy-footing, that’s the government. Any kind of act that’s designed to delay or deprive you and me right now of getting full rights, that’s the government that's responsible. And any time you find the government involved in a conspiracy to violate the citizenship or the civil rights of a people, then you are wasting your time going to that government expecting redress. Instead, you have to take that government to the World Court and accuse it of genocide and all of the other crimes that it is guilty of today....

-- The Ballot or the Bullet, delivered 12 April, 1964 in Detroit, MI ...

nuff said...

2011-02-01T17:39:00.003-05:00

Omi's Note: Today of course is Langston Hughes Born Day. Feb. 1st 1960 is also a big day in American History (look it up to see why). THis morning I thought about how during Black History MOnth (BHM), folks seem to talk about Malcolm and Martin. So instead of writing a brand new post about it, I thought I repost a review of a book I did way back in 2008. enjoy.

The Nightmare and The Dream: Nas, Jay-Z and the History of Conflict in African-American Culture
by Dax Devlon Ross

Book Review by Dan Tres Omi

In the last several years, there have been quite a few healthy tomes written about hip hop culture. Unfortunately, a large portion of that bunch tends to place hip hop culture outside of Black culture. Much of what is written about hip hop culture seems to remove it from the context of Black history particularly. Of course they point out how hip hop is a Black and Latino manifestation of an oppressed creativity but they leave it at that. There is no connection made to the Black Arts movement or the Black Freedom Rights struggle of the fifties, sixties, and the seventies. Dax Devlon Ross, a prolific and independent writer, brings it all home in The Nightmare and the Dream.

In one book, Ross summarizes points made in Harold Cruse's classic The Crisis of the Negro Intellectual, W.E.B. DuBois' Souls of Black Folk, and Dean E. Robinson's Black Nationalism in American Politics. What makes The Nightmare... stand out is how Ross connects the dots to Black Nationalism and hip hop culture. Using the Hegelian dialectic, Ross uses Nas and Jay Z as his subjects when discussing the internal conflict in Black America between Black Nationalism and assimilation. Like Robinson, Ross does a careful deconstruction of Black leadership in the United States. He does a wonderful job of explaining DuBois' double consciousness, but Ross does not stop there.

Ross begins with a hardy overview of the history of Black leadership in the United States. He begins with Frederick Douglass and his public beef with Alexander Crummel. Ross explains how Douglass enjoyed the spotlight and refused to allow anyone else to share the stage. While Douglass felt that fully embracing American culture is the key to Black Liberation, Crummel preached a more radical Black Nationalism. Ross breaks it down from that point on. In the final chapters, Ross brings it home by using the conflict between Biggie and Tupac and later Nas and Jay Z.

The book will force the reader to peruse the books mentioned above and requires a great amount of meditation. Like any hip hop purist or Black intellectual, I questioned Ross' choice of subjects in Nas and Jay Z. After putting down the book, I must admit that Ross did a thorough job of stating his position. What I enjoyed about The Nightmare... is the author's call for us to really look at our culture critically. We often complain that those outside of our culture have no respect of it. However, we are just as guilty as our detractors since we refuse to really analyze the impact our culture has on politics and economics in the United States. We refuse to see hip hop culture as a subculture of Black culture. We refuse to approach hip hop music from an intellectual perspective. Ross urges us to do just that. From this mindset, one can understand the author's use of Jay Z and Nas. Like the Black leaders discussed in The Nightmare... Ross points out how during the time that many of them lived, they were vilified, disregarded by mainstream voices, and at times under appreciated by the very same people they attempted to help. Many participants of hip hop culture do the same thing when it comes to our icons.

For a short book, Ross covers so much. As stated before, it will force readers to seek out other books. I think this is Ross' intent. We should challenge ourselves. We should broaden our horizons. We should connect the dots since we will be the ones writing the history. It will not be too far fetched to say that The Nightmare... is an important book. Ross places a huge magnifying glass on what has happened within hip hop culture in the last ten years. What makes the book special is that Ross is one of our voices. He is one of us. This makes his voice much more authentic. He not only knows what he is talking about, but he is a fan of the music and a participant in the culture.

2011-01-30T13:34:00.001-05:00

School Choices: Are they really choices?

You know, I enjoy the free market when it is applied to disposable products. I love that I have a gazillion choices on Mp3 players, laptops, sneakers, jeans, and other items. I like that I have choices in restaurants. Prices, services, and accessibility are important to consumers. Yet when the free market concepts we love are applied to things like health insurance and primary education, I take a big issue with it.

We don't need to discuss the importance of a proper education. We don't need to discuss how a proper education is a human right. What we need to discuss is how we ensure access to a proper education. Like everyone else, I get excited when I see a previously suffering school transform into a wonderful learning environment for children within a district. Then guess what happens? Every parent within a 25 mile radius is trying to get their child in that school. Unfortunately, this adds to the inequity within school districts.

Some schools have no choice but to set up lotteries as seen in the movie “The Lottery.” While the movie has a strong bias towards charter schools, it doesn't discuss what these lotteries are actually saying. I don't see how putting one's child in a lottery to enter in a school, a choice. If someone can explain that one to me, I would appreciate it. A choice isn't one good school within a district that has 20 bad ones. I am not suggesting that every school district should be perfect. That is unrealistic. You are going to have a bad school here and there. What we shouldn't have are bad school districts.

Who's to blame? There is plenty of blame to go around. There is no silver bullet when it comes to access to a proper education. Folks just need to really assess what is being said when people offer “choices.”

2011-01-17T08:24:00.001-05:00

A Different Part of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Every Martin Luther King day seems like an old VHS tape that is rewound and played again at the same exact spot it was on the year before. I think every American no matter what hole they might crawl out of hears at least twenty excerpts of the “I Have a Dream Speech” on that holiday. Everything from car commercials to fast food ads hawk images and sound bites of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
It's a damn shame that we have allowed corporations and entities that would have been directly opposed to King when he was alive to co-opt his message.

Like most martyrs, King is someone we all deify and mold into the myth that we want him to be. Most of us know very little about King and have never read any of of his speeches. While we might have heard the “I Have A Dream Speech” at least ten times in our life times, we have never really listened and most likely never read the speech in it's entirety. So most of us just make up in our minds what the King we think we know might have said. It is sad indeed.

What I admired about King was that he was very vocal of how he felt about his peers and about the church which at the time, was the focal point of the Civil Rights movement hailing back to the late 19th century with the likes of Martin Delaney. While many like to portray King as someone who finds no flaws in his allies and finds the church as the center for morality, King was very vocal in his criticisms of both.

One just needs to look early in his career when he wrote hise Letter from the Birmingham Jail in 1963. It is a long letter where King outlines the strategy for what happens throughout the rest of the sixties when it comes to Civil Rights. King discusses the problems they faced internally and he is harshly critical of many.

On white moderates:

First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice... I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and that when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress.

Unfortunately, this goes on today. King noticed this problem in 1963 and remained vocal about it throughout his brief career as an activist. It is tragic that this issue is never bought up when discussing King.

On the church:

If today's church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century. Every day I meet young people whose disappointment with the church has turned into outright disgust. Perhaps I have once again been too optimistic. Is organized religion too inextricably bound to the status quo to save our nation and the world?

While I disagree with the revisionist history of the early Church being this grand institution that supported the downtrodden and took up causes throughout the Roman Empire, King always remained critical of the Church he grew up in and loved. This is another side of King that were aren't told about.

While I don't expect most companies and schools to change the way King is portrayed or at many times allow for a critical discussion of King's views and career after the speech delivered on the mall in Washington, D.C., we should encourage folks to have these discussions at home, at the coffee shop, in the lunchrooms, on line, and where ever we can find the space to do so. We should also realize that it is dangerous to allow people who have no interest in the consciousness raising of our communities to dictate to us who King was and what he means to us now.

2010-12-30T22:33:00.000-05:00

New Years Resolutions for 2011

No, I don't think resolutions are overrated. I still make them and attempt to meet them. About Eighty percent of the time I am successful. So 2010, was a successful year for me. If you didn't know, I did finish my first book and it is currently going through the editing phase. I still have some resolutions for this year.

1. Cuddle with the wife more. The other night she did point out that we don't cuddle anymore. It's entirely my fault. I will admit that I spend a gang of time with the babies and kind of sort of neglected her. We still watch movies, talk, and have sex, but we don't just cuddle. In other words, I will show more affection to my wife in 2011 and beyond.

2. Be a better dad to my oldest son. Distance does suck when it comes to parenting but it's no excuse to be a poor parent. My oldest had a rough year in 2010. We did spend more time but he had the roughest year. He is a true soldier and right now, he is my hero. So in 2011 and beyond, I will shower him with the attention he deserves.

3. Write two books. I considered three but just because I wrote one, I shouldn't get too big for my britches. Two is bueno especially since I started on them in 2010, so I am ahead of the game. Stay tuned, folks.

4. Train Capoeira a whole lot more and a whole lot harder. In 2010, we got real busy with Capoeira. We did less traveling but trained with the members of our group locally. We also plan on doing a short. We just finished the plot and are now working on the choreography. In 2011, we want to travel to other schools and enter other rodas and batizados.

Usually I have about 8 resolutions. I want to make the 100% mark. So keeping it simple will probably work best for me. Thanks for the love and support. And yes, happy new year!

2010-12-28T09:27:00.000-05:00

2011 – Time to get more physical

I expect the babies to maintain contact via text or the online media that seems to come and go. Myspace is out of here like that $4,000.00 love seat. However, I don't expect folks my age to maintain contact via text or online media alone. While I am forever an old school cat and I don't expect folks to write as many letters or postcards as I do, I do expect a little reciprocity. This is still not the main point of my post.

I notice that too many of us spend a large amount of time staying in contact via text or on twitter. I won't lie. I do that as well. I do find that a good number of folks go overboard forwarding holiday greetings through cell phones. I read some of your statuses and its downright depressing. Many of our messages get lost in the machine so what we want to convey is either misconstrued or poorly written.

Intimacy is important. It's another piece that makes us human beings. To our loved ones we are beautiful and vice versa. It's important that we see one another. It's healthy. It's important that we laugh and cry in the presence of each other. It's important that we hug and place that reassuring touch on the shoulder. We should smile in person. We should ask for help while looking someone in the eye. We should argue face to face. We should express our anger and frustration to those we love. It's human to do that. Sending nasty texts isn't natural.

I hope that in 2011, we attempt to reach out to one another. Let's go for walks. Let's get coffee. Let's play tag. Let's run around. Let's get into heated debates in person. Let's hold hands. Let's hug. Let's strengthen our bonds. We need to visit folks more often. We need to play more pick up games at the court. Maybe we can meet and play chess in the park? We should link up to see our babies play with one another at those great jungle gyms. Maybe we can help them fly a kite?

Trust me when I tell you it's therapeutic. Plus, it's what makes the world go round.

2010-12-19T21:22:00.002-05:00

Capoeira, Philly, and Thick Legged Women Pt. 1

Big Up: I have to acknowledge the wonderful angoleiro's of Internationl Capoeira Angola Foundation (ICAF): Philadelphia for having a wonderful open roda (roda de branco= white roda) at Philly's awesome Odunde Festival. For those who have never attended both events, it is a must. ICAF:Philly were welcoming and even though it rained cats and dogs, continued to play as if it was sunny. The humidity was crazy, but they were out there in force.

It's been about 12 to 13 years since I have attended Odunde Festival In Philadelphia. Despite its large attendance, it has remained grass roots and in my opinion it is the premier African-centric event in the United States. I am willing to place a wager on that one as well. When I heard that was an open roda there as well, we had to make the trip since we were staying in New Jersey anyway.

As we drove down the NJ Turnpike, it rained. I mean it poured. We were halfway there and decided to keep trucking. Our children have never been to Philadelphia and I wanted them to put another check on their traveling map. We were also supposed to meet some old friends. As we found a parking spot, it cleared up. It was humid and the temperature was in the high nineties. I was dressed in all white and wore a fedora for the roda de branco. I had to carry the youngest on my shoulders since the walk was longer than we expected.

We searched for the distinctive sound of the berimbau. After meeting up with some friends, I heard the buzzing. I showed up and asked to play an instrument in the bateria (orchestra), I was quickly denied. This was entirely my fault. I am used to playing in Regional/Benguela rodas. The etiquette in those rodas require that you play an instrument first before actually entering the roda. In Angola rodas, its the other way around. I could be wrong about this since since certain schools use different rules. Much of it also depends on the number of the people playing. Yet in most of the Angola rodas I attended that is usually the case. Of course, I forgot about this and took it as “get the hell out of here kid.”

My sister from another mother, Suebeephly, knew the guy who ran the roda (his name eludes me) and he encouraged me to jump in. After that it was like we were raised in the same household and haven't seen one another in years. While I have played Capoeira for years and can do so in my sleep, I still doubt myself when playing against total strangers. So I usually go for the players who “seem” less experienced. For those of you that play Capoeira, this can be impossible sometimes since people underestimate you as well. So I end up at the pe de berimbau (foot of the berimbau) with a taller brother rocking a well tailored linen outfit.

He had to be good since you don't want to ruin a well tailored linen outfit. I took his hand anyway and decide to just play um jogo elegante (an elegant game) and keep a steady eye on him. He stuck to me like white on rice. I began to play a game of cat and mouse. I let him chase and when he got close, I struck out with a kick or a joelhada (knee) and the occasional cabacada (head butt) after ducking under one of his kicks. You could hear the crowd whooping and squealing with delight at my martial responses. I tried not to get confident but I couldn't wipe the kool aid smile off my face. The crowd's response added to my bravado. I decided to play a lower game to allow him to get close. I assumed that he would not go for that maneuver since his previous attempts at working me failed.

I forgot to mention that I was supposed to meet an old flame. Yes, a thick legged woman. Like me, she was happily married with children. It would be cool to meet and see how far we've come from young, idealistic people. While on the ground, I totally forgot that we were meeting. I would be wrong to say that the other player was even half as good as I am. My fakes, fluid movements, and kool aid smile kept the crowd engrossed. I could hear the camera's going away. I can hear the children whispering to their parents. It was enough to continue to feed my ego.

2010-11-28T21:21:00.001-05:00

Why the Law of Attraction is gobbledygook when it comes to relationships...

I know that even before the book “The Secret” was even published, a great number of people I knew and a great number of New Age charlatans were touting the benefits of the Law of Attraction. I am sure you heard it. If you think about being successful and exude this attitude in everything you do, you will become successful. The most extreme interpretations of this “law” even state that if one doubts at any moment that they cannot be successful, the entire endeavor crumbles like a house of cards. It is the most obscene version of victim blaming. If you didn't get that job, it had to be something you thought about. Or maybe you didn't write your desire on some kind of eraser board. The idea that someone who was more qualified got the job before you even interviewed is never even considered. Yet books that tend to explain this secret sell by the truckloads.

I think the most hilarious and dangerous attempt to sell this “law” is in the relationship section of your bookstore. And boy does it sell. So when someone ends up with a really bad spouse, you can hear the hawks say “it's who you attract!” So if a young lady ends up with a wife beater, let's just blame her for picking this dude. If you continue to meet dead beat chicks, it has to be something you since you keep attracting them.

People tend to forget that the first 6 months of a relationship is like a long date. Everyone puts their best foot forward. Many create fascades of who they actually are. If you aren't a 20 year career detective or a world renowned psychologist, you will not be able to discern who is out to get you until after the fact.

Here is another idea that people tend to forget, people like to hang out with nice people. No one wants to visit a douchebag. People generally like hanging out with people who are giving, loving, and welcoming. And guess what? You really can't help who walks through your door. I mean if Osama Bin Laden knocks on your door, I am sure you might call the FBI. But let's be real here, no one has that FBI Top Ten wanted list in their home like the Post Office.

You really can't help who you attract. Now it's up to you to kick out those who intend to do you harm after they have been outed, but most of the time you never know. So the law of attraction is gobbledygook. Don't believe the hype and don't buy another book. If you attend another lecture with someone trying to tell you that all you need to do to attract a good mate is to think positive thoughts, ask that person to buy you a lottery ticket and get a refund.

2010-11-21T23:41:00.001-05:00

Mestre Bimba: He is the Founder of Capoeira Regional

In Capoeira, Manuel dos Reis Machado also known as Mestre Bimba is either loved or hated. Whether he is loved or hated the fact remains that without Mestre Bimba, none of us outside of the state of Bahia would know about Capoeira. There was a time that people claimed that he was the founder of Capoeira Regional, a more martial aspect of Capoeira. Many argued that Bimba removed several of Capoeira's African aesthetics and rituals to make the martial art more palpable to the white middle and upper classes. Due to this dilution of the martial art, many saw Bimba as a sell out.

Usually, practitioners of Angola have a few choice words to say about that man. After doing some research and realizing that Bimba actually taught several forms of Capoeira according to what toque (note) the mestre was playing on the berimbau, I disagreed with the idea that Bimba created one style and discarded all the others. I have also defended Bimba against those who saw him as an harbinger of commercialism. Much of the blame of the commercialization of Capoeira (if there is such a thing, I don't think there is) is levied on Bimba when the blame, if any, should fall on the Capoeira Senzala even though Senzala helped to spread Capoeira outside of Brazil.

Then I read Mestre Itapoan's “The Saga of Mestre Bimba.”

So yes, I have to retract a few statements. Bimba did invent Capoeira Regional which was radically different then the other styles of Capoeira. To create this style, he did remove several things that were essential to a roda. He removed two berimbau's to make it one. He removed the reco reco and other instruments. He added several strikes from other martial arts. Bimba went out of his way to challenge fighters from other Martial Arts.

I have always known that many of his students hailed from the middle and upper crust of Brazilian society. This was something new to Capoeira since it was seen as something that only lower class Blacks dabbled in. Many see this as selling out. However, if Bimba did not reach out to the sons of politicians, doctors, lawyers, and military officers, Capoeira would probably never have become legal in Brazil opening the doors for many Capoeirista to spread the art form throughout Brazil and later the world.

While reading Itapoan's book, I realized that there are some students of the Mestres of yore who were probably on the receiving end of a Bimba beatdown. As one reads the articles compiled by Itapoan, Bimba made quite a name for himself taking cats out of the box. This explains why so many have a beef with him that has been passed down through at least two generations. Unfortunately, in the 21st century on different continents, folks still carry on that grudge despite the fact that if Bimba did any wrong it was a personal one to quite a few capoeiristas. There are a few articles in Itapoan's book which find many of his beaten opponents crying foul at a move or two Bimba executed as being illegal. That sounds fishy enough and explains a lot.

Whether I am wrong or not does not take away from Bimba's contributions to the martial art. Do the math. If Bimba never taught a student or even won several of his matches, we would not know about Capoeira. It might have remained illegal and eventually eradicated like the other styles in the other regions of Brazil.

2010-11-17T22:14:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the Personal isn't Politics: Strengthening our Communities

There are times when I wish the conversations I have with folks would just stay on the intellectual level. However, whenever it gets deep somehow it steers to the issue of relationship. There is a slogan that says that the personal is political. It is something I find to be important. When discussing a sociopolitical issue we humanize it by discussing how it affects us personally. Oftentimes, we use an example from our personal lives to instill passion into the discussion. It gives us more of a personal stake in the matter. However, that does not make us an expert on the issue.

When we discuss past relationships, we let our emotions cloud our judgment. We begin to make generalizations that have no scientific basis and we begin to believe stereotypes and half truths we hear from people who also make generalizations that are completely unfounded. We also apply an outdated Judeo Christian agrarian patriarchy as a solution to our problems.

While it is true that our relationships with potential mates are the cornerstones of our community. While it would be easy to fall into a discussion of the chicken and the egg, we have to acknowledge the fact that a functioning and secure community is what helps nurture any intimate relationship. That is something we seem to forget.

Being married for over 10 years and raising 4 beautiful children has shown me that. We need help in raising a family and a functioning and intact community is needed for that. Raising a family is not a two person job. A community is needed when there are no buffers for the deprived when it comes to money, support, or a place to eat. Without an intact community, survival is much more difficult.

Strengthen our communities is the key to not just our survival but our triumph. An intact community fosters growth. We can raise women and men in a dysfunctional community. It's just not going to happen. We need people who work in all fields to maintain an intact community. We need educators, nurses, doctors, mechanics, plumbers, etc. It's not rocket science. However we tend to ignore it and let our discussions become pin cushions for broken hearts.

We have to think big picture when it comes to our current situation. What we apply or are considering should be more important than whether or not our beds are warm. While the personal is political, it should not be confused with what is good for the collective. I am not saying that when we are victims we don't need to heal or seek justice. Please don't misread my point. We just cannot have one with out the other. And we would all be better off if we lived in a functioning, intact, and supportive community.

2010-11-15T07:29:00.001-05:00

Malicia: Who has it and who doesn't?

“The modern capoeirista does not know how to deceive, does not know how to armar o laco (set up a trap) to catch his opponent...” Mestre Atenilo – an excerpt taken from Nestor Capoeira's “The Street Smart Song.”

Unlike my peers, I don't approach Capoeira as this abstract entity that cannot be explained. While Capoeira is authentically African with a distinct Brazilian flavor, there are traits found in Capoeira that are universal to people of African descent throughout the Diaspora. When I do lectures on Capoeira, someone always asks a question about malicia. Using one's context clues, malicia is just that: malice. Some say it can also mean cunning or being able to set someone up in a trap in a sly manner.

While I love reading Nestor Capoeria's work on the subject, I still think he creates this idea that malicia is some sort of magic that only Brazilians or “true” capoeirista's can conjure. I wholeheartedly disagree with that idea. While Nestor Capoeira is correct in his assessment that malicia cannot be taught. While I can teach someone the fundamentals of chess, I cannot teach someone how to out think his or her opponent. I can teach them some of the moves I may use, but in the end, the student has to learn through trial and error. The same thing goes for malicia.

Growing up in economically deprived neighborhoods, I had the chance to see malicia at work on several occasions. Again, I never found it to be magic. If anything, it's a survival tactic. One had to learn it as they journeyed through life's day to day struggles. Whether it was the single mother who made extra money doing hair or the young brother who sold water bottles on the corner. Some of us carried razors in our teeth to sneak into clubs in case we had to defend ourselves. Many of us were forced to learn new and slick ways to upset the set up. When I hear Nestor Capoeira describe examples of malicia, I think of the people I grew up with in those neighborhoods.

This is not to say that only people in the 'hood can learn malicia. The only thing is that people have to be in an environment where they are forced to learn. While I can't teach my students malicia, I can create an environment where they not only have to stay on their toes but have to learn how to “hide a razor in their teeth.” I can teach them techniques that will keep them one step ahead of their opponent in the roda but if they are never in an environment where they have to use those techniques, it will not become a part of their repertoire.

Some have said that malicia is something innate and a characteristic unique to a certain group of people. I disagree. It's a learned response and anyone can have it. It is not magic. Malicia is not required to be a good capoeirista. Every interaction does not call for someone to whip out a razor out of one's mouth. If the proper environment is fostered, one can learn the proper responses to help develop malicia. Just don't be fooled by anyone about the wonderful benefits of using snake oil.

2010-11-14T11:24:00.004-05:00

Tyler Perry

I know everyone is talking about Tyler Perry. I have never been a fan and it confounds me that he is so successful. True indeed, he has found his niche and is a marketing monster.

It's wild because Tyler Perry is like the U.S. Military: his movies are very harmful but he employs a gang of black folks. So I can only hate on him part of the time. Who else employs folks like Cicely Tyson (who hasn't been in a movie since, oh snap, a Tyler Perry production) in Hollyweird? No One. When was the last time anyone has seen Maya Angelou in a flick where she wasn't the Magical Negro?

Of course, there are folks who tell it way better than I do. Today it is the giant Salamishah Tillet who breaks it down better than anyone I have ever read:

Black Feminism, Tyler Perry Style
Why Ntozake Shange's feminist message of gender equality, reproductive justice and sexual liberation has been seriously compromised in the hands of the hit filmmaker.

Leave it to Tyler Perry, a man best known for playing Madea, a modern-day Mammy, to try to redefine black feminism for the mainstream.

Perry admits that he didn't know much about Ntozake Shange's choreopoem, For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf, but that didn't stop him from taking on this black feminist bible nevertheless. (read more here)

Enjoy, pass on, and discuss.

2010-11-08T11:28:00.004-05:00

Cause I love you...

I know it's been a while. I am finally trying to finish this book. The last few weeks have been so hectic so please bear with me. Below are some treat.. Enjoy.

Homeboy Sandman's latest:

2. Beacon Broadside has a nice piece by David Bacon who wrote, Illegal People: How Globalization Creates Migration and Criminalizes Immigrants. Check it out.

3. All the Lonely People -- A piece by Robert Ebert about the internet and lonely people. THere is alot of you all out there....

2010-10-20T17:33:00.002-04:00

Continuing the discussion on Education in the United States

It's important that we continue to discuss the education of our children. I have been digging these two pieces on education. Please read, comment, and pass it along.

The first one comes from Dr. L'Heureux Dumi Lewis. I enjoy reading his blog Uptown Notes. Folks should really check out his lectures on line. The brother has alot to say. This particular piece is a review on the latest documentary on education called "Waiting on Superman":

Waiting for School Reform

September 29, 2010

This morning, another piece of my writing on education reform and “Waiting for Superman” was posted on theRoot.com. This is a lengthier discussion of the state of educational reform research and what we know. While I don’t cover the universe of education reform policies, I do cover six key ones: charter school success, money matters, evaluating teachers, teacher pay, paying students, and Promise Neighborhoods. I close out the piece with a discussion of solutions and food for thought around changing urban education. (read more)

The Next piece from from Faith, a blogger from the Left Coast. She covers issues pertaining to Black Women. I dig Faith. She is in your face just like my momma wanted. She is not afraid to deal with the issues everyone else chooses to ignore. In this piece, she sheds light on a particular law suit in Chicago:

African American Women Teachers Are Being Scapegoated For The Inferior Performance of the Underclass Population

Get out while you can before the Arne Duncans or the Michelle Rhees boot you out! While the Waiting For Superman documentary gets trotted out like a show pony offering “solutions” to weed out bad teachers the big giant pink elephant in the room is NEVER discussed. It’s the mass dysfunction at play that’s the core problem.

The majority of problems in schools today are tied to the rampant OOW problem in the black community. The lack of family structure begats the devaluation of a community. It ties into lower tax bases, poverty, parental apathy, living in dangerous neighborhoods, poor food choices, lack of fresh foods, stress and minimal support. Yeah..more canon fodder for the anti-NWNW gang to deny and deflect. What programs are going to fix this!? (read more)

Please read, re-read, comment, pass it along, share, discuss, write a song about it, etc.

2010-10-15T19:11:00.001-04:00

My first Million Man March (MMM) entry

Just an FYI, I posted this on line way back in 2005.. i never finished transcribing the entries. They are still written in cursive on a pad i still own. I plan on handing it to my son when he goes to college in two years.

Before I go any further I have to give you background. In the fall of 1995, I was still in the Navy. I already served 5 years with one more to go. I was stationed in Jacksonville, Florida. My oldest son, X-man, was about 1 year and a half and lived with his mother in Virginia Beach. At that time, our relationships was cordial. We were not together. I was dealing with a sister from Philly named DW. We were official but when i moved out of philly, we decided to dead it even though we still had feelings. Yet we were off and on again and again.

What follows was written as letters to my son X-man. This entry was written on Oct. 10th, 1995, 6 days before the actual march. Remember it will be heavily edited to prevent biters.

Our day of reckoning is near. In six days, I will be marching in Washington D.C. with 999,999 other beings. It will truly be a historic event. A that that we will all remember. An event I refuse to miss. I only wish that my physical brother, Dolo, would make it with me.

I tried to gather a few brothers from my command to attend the march. All refused for various reasons. Some reasons I found legitimate. Others I found to be outright lies. To each his own. I wish that more brothers that I am acquainted with would attend. I know that many of them will attend Freaknik, though.

The Million Man March (MMM) means so much to me. I believe that I will be doing this not just for myself, but my family, friends, co-workers and people on the street. I've committed myself to a military and a nation that cares little for myself or my people. This march would be a committment that i will be making to my community and family.

The scary thing about this march is that there are only 2 ways it can go. It can be something glorious or triumphant, or it could prove a disaster to us all. The US government has deliberately kept its mouth shut about it. We all witnessed the Qubilah Shabazz fiasco. We all saw the media "whiteout" of the March's coverage thanks to the OJ Trial. Things are too quiet in my opinion. I hope everything goes well. I remain positive and I look forward to the march. My excitement increases at each passing day.

Sincerely,
Your Father,

2010-10-10T21:25:00.001-04:00

Domestic Violence: Guilty as charged

If you haven't been told or have no presence on line, it is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Like any form of abuse, Domestic Violence is something we really try to avoid. I hear many argue that abuse in any form is dirty laundry we should not air. Many of us act as if it doesn't happen but it does. It happens every day. I am sure that if you walk into any room of any building you frequent and ask anyone if they have been a victim of domestic violence or even a witness, you will find that many hands will be raised.

According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) 1 in 4 women has experienced domestic violence in their lifetime. The University of Pennsylvania's Annenberg School for Communication conducted a study that took it a step further: 1 in 3 African American women have experienced domestic violence in their lifetime. I can go on to quote more numbers but it's not hard to see where we are going with this.
I am sure many if not all of my readers knows someone who has been affected by this. It's something we definitely need to air out and try to figure out the solutions. However, the number aren't really the scary part about it.

For something like domestic violence to continue to exist there has to be a culture or atmosphere that allows it to happen. A victimizer knows where to find his or her prey. A victimizer knows when he or she can assault and get away with it. Too often, I hear someone accuse another of domestic abuse and we either ignore the victim, blame the victim, or encourage the victimizer. We ignore the victim by choosing not to take action. We blame the victim by assuming it was something she or he did to provoke the victimizer. We encourage the victimizer through our inaction which allows that person to gain more power over the victim.

I have been in situations where I have intervened on the victim's behalf and was admonished by the victim for attempting to help. However, we must realize that at this point, the victim is powerless. She has no one to turn to and the victimizer usually controls the victims means of financial support. Many times, the victims are not working, have children to care for, and the primary breadwinner is the victimizer. We have witnessed how victimizers cut off all familial and social ties of the victim to remove that support system that the victim depended on before.

Let's delve deeper into this cycle of violence. Usually, the victimizer is someone we know and love. Sometimes that person is a comrade. The victimizer is someone we admire and depend on. The scary part is that usually we know what's going on but refuse to do anything about it. Instead we would prefer to hold on to the advantages of male patriarchy then attempt to challenge it. Let's be clear, domestic violence is also about power and maintaining that male patriarchy amongst other things. In the locker room and bars, we say “it's none of our business,” or “don't get in that man's business.” So we help foster an environment where the victimizer can carry on as if nothing happened.

We cannot depend on our religions to guide us because they help promote male patriarchy and in some instances even encourage beating or abusing one's wife. Our religions also encourage us to mind our business and not to “judge.” They provide no comfort or scripture for the victims. None of the ten commandments explain “thou shall not beat your spouse.” If anything, it is our religious institutions that seem to provide safe havens for victimizers.

As men, we should speak out against domestic violence whenever we see it. If a sister comes to us about someone we know who is abusing her, we should approach the accused and inquire about it. It's the least we can do. When someone is abused, we should open up our home to them and their children as a safe haven. We should lay down ground rules and explain to the victimizer that he is not welcomed in our homes. We should also encourage victims to seek justice and the victimizer to get help if he is sincere in changing his ways.

While it is easy to victim blame, place blame on a system, or on things outside of our community, we are guilty in fostering a climate where domestic violence is a norm. We are condemning the victims and giving safe haven to the victimizers. If we want our communities to be places where we promote peace, harmony, and reciprocity we must stop doing this. We have to discuss the problem and call out those who prey on the most vulnerable members of our community. We always talk about the village but very few of us want to be that village.

2010-10-06T06:38:00.005-04:00

"I am a bike rider plain and simple."

No not me. Jamey Mixson is a bike rider. I mean I do love riding my bike and I need to fix mine. I have been saying that for the past year. Heck, if I had a nickel for every bike I owned that was stolen... but alas, this post is not about me.

A friend of mine knows someone who is doing something amazing. A regular brother from Cleveland, Ohio (well, he is not that regular but you know what I mean) wanted to do something to raise awareness about childhood obesity and the poor literacy rates in our community. He is a bike rider. He just loves riding his bike. So he put 2 + 2 together (notice the mathematics, folks), and decided to ride his bike 2500 miles from Cleveland, Ohio to California to raise money and awareness.

That's how you do it. Get in where you fit it. james Mixson (Ride Jamy ride!) didn't sit down and tried to figure out what the best alternative was. The brother is brainy, but he didn't sit around and debate. He literally got off his behind, planted it on his bike and just rode. I am sure there was some meticulous planning in all of this, but you catch my drift. He didn't actually just get up one morning, quit his job, and just started writing. I am sure there was some planning involved. My point is that he put in work.

Of course, you can do this without the loot. So that's where you sitting at home or in the coffee shop can stay on your butts and help out. You can donate aqui. Or you can pass it on. You can tweet about it or make funny videos about how you are not riding your bike 2500 miles (I am for the babies but not that much...).

Oh James, the pizza is still on me.

2010-10-04T23:27:00.001-04:00

Who's Gonna Take the Weight: The Aftermath of NWNW

There is no need for me to do the math here. If you are wondering, I am not trying to get more hits on my blog like some of the detractors are doing. Yes, I am mud slinging, but someone on our team has to right?

I want to say that most of the people I kick it with are intellectuals whether they were trained in the halls of academia or on the corners of Any Ghetto USA. While there is nothing wrong with sitting around discussing what needs to be done and there is nothing wrong with a healthy debate, sometimes, we need to put away the theories, concepts, and books and get down to the nitty gritty. We seem to forget that forums, blogs, and articles on the internet are supposed to start the conversations. Once we have those conversations and make the to do lists, we have to leave the comfort of our homes and get on the front lines.

This particular rant I aim at the brothers. While I don't have all the answers and I am far from perfect, we all have to shoulder the blame. I am sure you have been told cause I know I have, but we have been slacking. I wouldn't call it NOT pulling our own weight. It's more like abandonment. We really jetted out on this one.

I remember going to the Million Man March (MMM) in October of 1995. I think that day was one of the most defining moments of my life. While I admit that Louis Farrakhan went way to left field when he spent more two hours talking about Masonic symbols, I recall taking a pledge. Actually it was an oath because we raised our right hands. I know that not all of us brothers were at the MMM. That I do know. However, most of the brothers I knew at the time and later met admitted to watching the entire thing on TV. So I am sure that twice the 2.2 million people that showed up on that chilly fall afternoon listened to the oath (if they made it through Farrakhan's long speech). So in a sense, some of them kind of sort of made a commitment. Maybe I am reaching here, but please bear with me.

We went there and experienced a sense of peace that none of us thought possible. I thought to myself, this is how heaven feels like. It made sense to make an oath. Marches are just rallies. Yet we took an oath to return to our communities and make them better places then they were. As a matter of fact, every Kwanzaa we make that pledge but not everyone celebrates Kwanzaa. So I did just that. I returned to my community learned a few more things and got to work. I haven't looked back since. I returned to the Million Family March (MFM) with my wife and members of my community and realized that we had more work to do. We had more babies and continued to work. Along the way, we worked with other folks who were doing the same thing we were doing. Of course, all of us were intellectuals in one way or another. While we did debate and beef every now and again, we realized that work still needed to get done.

One thing I noticed is that as we got older, fewer and fewer of us got out there to put in work. It makes sense. We have children and have more responsibilities and have less time to volunteer or help out. Meetings are just too long to attend. The rest of us just shoulder the responsibility. My point? Some of you all need to step up. I don't mean doing the usual things like keep your lawn clean, or go to work on time, and vote. I mean like friggin' volunteer. Like play ball with the youngbloods down the street. Like tutor the little girl across the street whose mother is working two jobs. Like reading to the children at the local elementary school. Like volunteering with the local Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Like visiting the babies in the local juvenile hall. Like teaching your nephew how to swim.

It's those little things that really count. You know volunteering two to three hours out of your week. I mean you are going to spend it on facebook or twitter anyway. EVERYBODY wants to talk about how a village raises a child but no one wants to be part of the village. No one wants to chip in. I can bet all the money in my bank right now (yes all three accounts) that there were people who had no blood relation to any of you who chipped in their free time to help make you a better person in those little ways described above. Yet somehow we assume that this village is just going to magically pop up and we can visit it any time we want.

Reality check, homies, it ain't going down like that.

I often hear people complain about “those” people who seem to exhibit deviant behavior. I hear people complain about how young people aren't the same as their generation. We tend to blame everyone after us not realizing that we were the torchbearers before the subsequent generation got the torch handed to them. It sounds like we quit before the bell even rang.

Before anyone says anything about the white man, I want to point out that I am well aware of our history. There is no need for anyone to quote any leader of any age. I know the deal like Holyfield. However, blaming the white man and pointing out where he did this or that isn't really going to help our children read on the level they need to be reading on. It's not going to educate us on healthy eating habits or getting the proper exercise. So save that white devil nonsense for someone else.

I am sure that people have several solutions but I am not asking for heads to come up with new ideas or studies. Those things have already been done. I am asking folks to do the work where ever and when ever they can. That's the best and easy way to start. You don't need to start a new organization. Get in where you fit in. All of us are not built to be leaders (shocking, I know). All of us are not groomed to write speeches. Then again all the speeches have been written. All of the great orators have gone and passed.

I don't need to tell you that the stakes are high. What I am saying is that if you are on the team, you need to play your position. You need to get on board. There is no time for coulda, woulda, shoulda. If there is a problem, we will fix it as we go along. I look back at our ancestors. Not too many of them had any schooling after emancipation. None of them were welcomed in the cities and towns they toiled in. However, they knew how to create wonderful and vibrant communities. I am not saying it was all perfect. There were issues of course but they made it work without the theories and the debates.

If they can do so much more with so much less why are we doing so much less with so much?

Brothers, let's go to work and yes, the vegetarian pizza is on me.

2010-09-29T23:31:00.001-04:00

Teachers: The Second Set of Educators

It's troubling to see teachers get the brunt of the blame when it comes to this current debate about our state of public education. While I have always complained about the state of our public education, my focus is usually on the curriculum (which is not teacher-centric), the administration, and how text books are put together. I am sure man parents have complaints about a teacher or two, but in my experience I have yet to meet a teacher of one of our students who did not have their best interests in mind.

It is a very sad state of affairs when our teachers are overworked, underpaid, and under appreciated. I volunteer often in the school system and I see what goes on. Overcrowded classes, detached administrators, and children whose parents expect schools to be an free alternative to day care are just some of the day to day things the average teacher goes through.

We often hear about using testing standards to rate a teachers performance. While standardized testing might be a good idea to see how a teacher's methodology helps his or her students, it shouldn't be the only factor. What a teacher does is much more complicated than that. I urge any parent to attend his or her child's class for a good portion of the day.

Unlike other professions, teachers are not considered professionals. I see parents take a teachers critique of their children as a personal affront to their parenting. I have seen parents and administrators outright disrespect teachers on so many levels. We expect so much of our teachers but give them fewer resources each time.

I doubt that my siblings and I would not have made it out of the projects if it wasn't for those teachers who went the extra mile. It was my 9th grade English teacher who encouraged me to write. It was my third grade teacher who gave me my first speaking gig (yes, I was speaking in front of crowds at age eight). Like many students, I have some of my teachers a heck of a way to go.

I am sure it would take more than a blog post to remind folks that teachers are so important. Being nice to your children's teacher goes a long way but at the end of the day, I am only one parent out of many in the career of that teacher. We need to really focus on taking care of our teachers. Many of us wonder why we don't see more teachers who look like us. It has much to do with salary and work. Trust me, teachers don't do this for the money.

So when this debate comes up again, it is important that we bring teachers on board. If anything, when it comes to education, they know much more than we do. We need to make sure legislators on all levels of government do what it takes to keep the good teachers and make sure they are taken care of. We need to let school administrators and school boards know that we are on the side of the teachers.

2010-09-22T06:59:00.003-04:00

Adventures in Co Parenting: There's no such thing as Part Time Fathers

I enjoy statistics and I enjoy studies that explain how we interact with one another. I prefer to read and decipher those stats and studies then hearing anecdotes about a particular issue. While I have always chimed in about out of wedlock births, I usually keep my personal life out of it. While I am happily married with four children, my oldest son, whom we affectionately call X Man, is an out of wedlock child. I had him with a young woman I met while serving in the U.S. Navy. There are several reasons why I keep him out of the discussion and none of it has to do with shame. If anything X man will be ten times the man I will ever be. Every time we build, I come away with awe. His mother and I have a rocky relationship that seems to get worse.

I keep him out of the discussion because I want my emotions out of the discussion. Speaking of him both pains and inspires me. He is a wonderful child. Any of my friends and relatives can speak on this. Yet during these discussions, I find that if we stick to the science and what can benefit our community, we can figure out the solutions. Emotions get in the way. Instead of having a discussion, our debate becomes a series of bash sessions based on anecdotes and pseudo science.

At times, my detachment comes off as arrogant or counterproductive. This summer I realized that emotion is part and parcel when it comes to the discussion of out of wedlock births. I learned that my oldest boy has cancer. Yes, my beautiful, wonderful and vibrant X man has cancer. It is still sinking in months after I learned about it. It is tremendously sobering. I have faced death on too many occasions and like to think of myself as someone who is not afraid of that dark oblivion. However, this situation has me afraid. No parent wants to bury that child. While my wife tells me not to think about him dying, I am a pragmatist and it is something I have to face.

One would assume that this event would finally force his mother and I to lay down our arms and become civil. It has not. In the end, I blame myself. People tell me I shouldn't. People have argued that even if I went back in time and told myself to fight for full custody like I originally planned, he would be better. I am not stupid. I don't think he would not have been diagnosed with cancer, but is quality of life will be better. He won't feel as beat down emotionally as he tells me he does. He doesn't want our dad/son, master/student relationship to change. He still wants me to be the hellish martial arts instructor he hears my student complain about. He still wants me to keep him on his square. Yet knowing what I know, I hold back not wanting to hurt my boy.

What we adults fail to realize is that eventually we get over the beefs, the drama, and the despair, our babies are scarred for life. No matter what I say, or what I do, X Man will still feel that abandonment. I am still less than in his eyes because I didn't fight for him. I cannot blame him for that since he is right. While on the outside he is the wonderful student, the handsome son, and the popular kid at school, I know that inside he wishes we were side by side.

When it comes to this discussion, I cannot remain emotionally detached anymore. In our case, the beef between mother and father contributed to the declining health of our son. While my son is recovering well being the fighter he is, I know there are many others who have been where he is. T While I cannot change what happened over 16 years ago, we can change what happens from this day forward.

Again, I am a pragmatist but in many ways abstinence is not a bad idea. We need to make better decisions when it comes to who we have sex with. We need to be more demanding of one another as couples. Of course, we need to use protection. This is not just the women's responsibility, it should be the men's responsibility too. We shouldn't look it as protecting ourselves as adults but as setting up a better future for our offspring.

It's a given that I don't get along with my son's mother, but you know what? I will get over it. My son however, will not. He might even die from it. All because his mother and father can't seem to get it right. I wouldn't want to wish what we are going through on anyone. So honestly folks, no wedding, no womb.

2010-09-20T23:24:00.002-04:00

For those that don't know: NWNW 2010... Sept 22nd...

No Wedding No Womb! (NWNW) also fights against the normalization of baby momma and daddy-ism. Clearly as a whole, this mentality is NOT working for us as a community.

On September 22, 50-100 bloggers, writers, teachers, social workers, authors and journalists (and counting) will decry in tandem–no unison–that enough is enough. Our future depends on adults planning families responsibly.

No Wedding, No Womb! Contributors (list updates daily)

* Gina McCauley, blogger and activist, WhatAboutOurDaughters.com
* Mortan Janks, film maker, WhatBlackMenThink.com
* Karyn Folan, author, Don’t Bring Home a White Boy and blogger DiaryofaBlackAndWhiteFamily.blogspot.com
* Danielle Belton, blogger, TheBlackSnob.com
* Paul Carrick Brunson, Matchmaker, Relationship Coach and Founder, OneDegreeFrom.Me
* Cherryl Aldave, writer, poet, blogger, HeavyMentalist.com
* Cynthia Griffin, Editor, OurWeekly.com
* Aja Jackson, freelance writer, AjaDorseyJackson.com
* Jeneba Jalloh Ghatt, attorney, Blog Talk Radio Host, Right of Black, blogger, JenebaSpeaks.com
* Tim Alexandar, writer/producer/director Diary of a Mad Black Man and blogger of tiredblackman.com
* Sophia Angeli Nelson, blogger, and political/social commentary opinion writer, IAskInc.org
* Shanon D. Murray, radio host and blogger, RightofBlack.com, columnist for TheLoop21.com
* Roslyn Hardy Holcomb, co-author, Stolen and blogger, RoslynHardyHolcomb.com
* Lisa G. Riley, co-author, Stolen and blogger, LisaGRiley.com
* Lamar Tyler, blogger, BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com
* John T. Wills, author, Just A Season and blogger, JohnTWillsChronicles.com
* Cherilyn Smith, blogger, BlackWomenDeserveBetter.com
* Betty Chambers, blogger, BettyChambers.com
* Deborrah Cooper, dating advice columnist, author, BlogTalkRadio host and blogger SurvivingDating.Com
* Regina Townsend, TheBrokenBrownEgg.org
* Citizen Ojo, TheDesultoryLifeandTimes.blogspot.com
* Cicely Johnson, founder, CJR Publishing and host of Blog Out Loud
* Jenee Darden, journalist, CocoaFly.com.
* Kellina Craig-Henderson, psychologist and author, Black Women in Interracial Relationships: In Search of Love and Solace and blogger, KellinaCraigHenderson.com
* Jo Bai, blogger, LifeBehindTheWall.com
* Kimberly Woods, blogger, SoulFullOfThoughts.com
* Renee Tecco, blogger, Sardonic Sistah Says at RenTec.wordpress.com
* Onica Cupido, blogger, EuphoriaLuv.wordpress.com
* Onica Cupido, blogger, MommyFactor.blogspot.com
* Lyn Twyman, founder of Courage Network, CourageNetwork.com
* Zabeth, blogger, InterracialDatingCoach.blogspot.com
* Javonne Stewart, blogger, SocialiteDreams.wordpress.com
* Faith Dow, blogger, ActsOfFaithBlog.com
* LeslieBeth Wish, Ed. D. MSS, social worker and blogger, LoveVictory.com
* Arielle Loren, advocate and blogger, ArielleLoren.com
* Torrey Spears, Truth from a Non-Hyphenated American, TorreySpears.blogspot.com
* Eric Payne, Makes Me Wanna Holler, Man, Dad Husband MakesMeWannaHoller.com
* Frederick J. Goodall, blogger, MochaDad.com
* Veronica Miller, blogger, VeroniiBlog.blogspot.com
* Afua Boahene, blogger, Conversations With My Sisters at SMelodyDiva.wordpress.com
* Keshia Robertson, blogger, ACrushADay.blogspot.com
* Jenni Lewis, special to NoWeddingNoWomb.com
* Velouroyale Luvv, blogger, InterracialIntersection.com
* Lorriane Nowlin, blogger, LorMarie.com
* Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, certified life and relationship coach and blogger, LifeEditing.com
* Nisa I. Muhammad, WeddedBlissInc.com
* Vanessa Jean-Louis, blogger, AfroConservative.com
* Martin Lindsey, blogger, MartyBlogs.com
* Tara Pringle-Jefferson, blogger, TheYoungmommylife.com
* Dan Tres OMi, blogger, Selfra.blogspot.com
* Walter Myers III, blogger, ScientiaMedia.com
* N. Maurice Williams, Blog.Ayce.tv
* Thembi Ford, blogger, WhatWouldThembiDo.com
* Kweli Wright, blogger TheJuiceBoxx.com
* Jennifer Kay, Uncommon Sense, ForRealSon.wordpress.com
* Pioneer Valley Woman, Episcopalienne.blogspot.com
* Jamie Flemming, ForColoredGurls.com
* Tracie Frank, Treyka.wordpress.com
* Kimberly Jessy, magazine publisher, nasahm.com/pinkcarpet/
* Brittany Bacon, blogger, MrsBreeAkaSailorWifey.blogspot.com
* Angela Nichelle Bradley, blogger, AngelaNichelle.blogspot.com
* Brooke Brimm, blogger, LovesGumbo.com, JewelryRockstar.com
* Natashia Burch, blogger, LoveandNappiness.wordpress.com
* Angela Nealy, blogger, AutographExpressions.blogspot.com
* Willie Whitehead, guest blogger for NoWeddingNoWomb.com
* Jennifer Vaughn, delesmuses.blogspot.com
* Black American Brides, BlackAmericanBrides.com
* Tracy L. Scott, YouKnowBetterGirl.blogspot.com
* Adwoa K. Boahene, kdossier.wordpress.com
* Robin Martin, Blog Talk Radio host and blogger, ConservativeBlkWoman.blogspot.com
* Deserie Johnson, poetess, DeepRootzInspirtainment.com
* Vonmiwi Culvera, blogger, AfrolistasAndTheCity.blogspot.com

* Christelyn D. Karazin, NWNW founder, co-author of Swirling: How to Date Mate & Relate, Mixing Race, Culture & Creed, host for Beyond Black & White
* Deborah White, blogger, MyBrownEyedView.com
* Tatum Forbes, blogger, HalfPastDope.com
* Arlene Fenton, political activist
* Joyll Cambridge, blogger, TheHumanistExec.blogspot.com
* Doctor Joyce Morley, Psychotherapist; Relationship Expert; Executive/Relationship/Life Coach, DoctorJoyce.com
* Amani Channel, blogger, MyUrbanReport.com

* LegalMatch.com, LegalMatchLife.typepad.com (to provide information on child support and father’s rights)

2010-09-15T07:26:00.001-04:00

Our Tenth Anniversary: Badu said it best

“...Crochet for you/ Make it from scratch for you/ leave out the last for you/ go to the store for you/ do it some mo' for you/ do what you want me to/ guess I'm a fool for you”

– Erykah Badu “Out of my mind...”

It's wild because from “Mama's Gun” to “New Amerykah Pt. 2” (with a few other notable albums) has played as a soundtrack to our marriage. From the birth of our first daughter to our recent trip from the east coast this past summer, we have been rocking Badu. So it's only right that I start off this post with her lyrics.

I guess this would be the shout out post, right? Or the one where we have a thank you speech? Man, it would take a few more blogs to do it. Honestly, I thank all of you. Really, a marriage is the cornerstone of the community. I don't mean that in a male patriarchal sense. I mean that in the wholistic sense.

We need our community to thrive and the community is invested in our well being. Our family has to remain intact and functional. Our children have to grow up love and nurtured. My wife and I have to grow and be nurtured as well. It's a symbiotic relationship of sorts.

Do we have it figured out? I can safely say yes and not to sound arrogant, but it's actually simple. Yes, there is a simple formula for it. You don't have to pay for it or attend seminars for you. You don't need any books or dvds. You don't have to join a cult or religion to realize it. You don't even have to pray for it.

LOVE IS HARD WORK.

(Here is where I get allegorical)

It's like a garden. If you tend to your garden each day. If you get on your knees and get your hands dirty. If you get rid of the weeds and the pests. If you ensure that your garden gets the right balance of sunlight and water, the fruits and vegetables that it bears will be delicious. Sometimes you strain your back when you pull weeds. Sometimes you might miss a day or two. At times, there is too much rain. Sometimes, a possum or a squirrel might dig through your stuff. Yet you keep at it. It's just one set back. When you get those tomatoes though, you won't regret any of it.

That in a nutshell is how it goes down.

We have and will continue to love with abandon. Maturity, Reciprocity, balance and having fun. Thank you all who have stood by us. We cannot say in words how each and everyone of you have chipped in to make this adventure possible. Our garden is vast and beautiful. We are here for you and with out you there would be no us.

See you in another ten years!

2010-09-14T07:59:00.001-04:00

Countdown Six: One Day Left to our Tenth Anniversary

I recall when the wife and I got our first place together. We rented from this slum lord in the Park Place area of Norfolk, Virginia on Omohundro Avenue. I insisted that we move to Norfolk since I was tired of Virginia Beach. For $385 a month, we got this two bedroom hovel. I am sure you all know where this is going.

Despite the crime, I loved the area. Coming from the Bronx, crime anywhere else is like living in the 'burbs. It was still quiet to me. Despite the size of the place, we still threw our big parties there. We still held our Karamu's there and had folks over all of the time. Many people, some well known and some not so well known, came to stay a few nights there. It seemed we had company every day.

Looking back, we always laugh. We have so many stories about that place. My wife made me a book shelf. She actually made me two. There are pictures of me building with the sisters and brothers with the crooked bookshelves behind me. It's just too funny.

There was only one gas furnace in the apartment and it was right near the door. When it got cold, we could see our breaths. It reminded me of living in the projects in the Bronx. The wife and I worked it out. I used to get home before her so I would blow dry the bed and the sheets so that when she came in, it was nice and toasty. Sometimes we would leave the gas stove on so that it would heat ¼ of the apartment. In the bathroom, we had the place covered in candles to keep some sense of warmth in that cold place. Eventually, we borrowed a kerosene heater to heat up the place. At times the smell was so bad, we would just turn it off wondering if the heater let out too much kerosene.

We had a mother and daughter who stayed upstairs from us. The mother was deaf and could speak. She couldn't speak very well so one had to ask her to repeat her self. She was nice. It was a daughter who missed a beating or two. Her daughter was only 14 dating guys who were a few years younger than I. None of these boys were in high school. Some were in college and some were in the military. Every other night, you could hear her moaning and screaming. She would always ruin the mood. I knew her mother had a hearing aid and assumed that her mother slept without it. One day I marched right up to her mother and snitched thinking I knew something she didn't know. Boy, was I wrong. She knew exactly what her daughter was doing and just shrugged her shoulders. I will never forget the afternoon I came home to find 6 adult women threatening to do all sorts of bodily harm to this young girl. They scattered like roached when I threatened to call the police if they didn't get off my porch. I began to regulate after that.

That one summer we stayed there, it would get so hot. We had no air conditioning. We still threw parties there. Our lovely neighbors weren't the cleanest folks, so their pests would come down to visit us. During the summer, it seemed that their cockroaches invited their relatives from the Bronx to come and stay with us. We would leave the stove on to keep them out. No matter how much we cleaned and scrubbed and cleaned again, they would return. I remember we threw a huge party and everyone offered to help in the kitchen. They wondered why the stove was blazing while it was at least 90 degrees outside (which meant it was 105 in the house). It was nuts. The party was a blast though.

While laying in bed, the wife and I always laugh as we recount these stories. So many memories. It was a beginning, full of love, ill antics, and shootouts. Yes, I said shootouts. Now when we sit in our family room with the fire place blazing we think about how life has gotten better and continues to get better. It's always a sight to watch people's eyes bulge when we tell them these stories. I love to hear other people tell us their stories. When we do, ours doesn't seem that bad at all. If I had a chance to do it over, I would do it exactly the same, roaches and all.

2010-09-12T20:57:00.001-04:00

A Cheap and Easy Drug: Nostalgia

Nostalgia - a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition

As a young man, I read George Jackson's “Blood in My Eye.” In one chapter, Jackson discusses how many of us seem to enjoy lamenting on how things used to be when in reality, things were much worse than we like to remember. As a young man, I ignored this point and just kept the parts about proletariat revolution and defeating totalitarianism in all forms.

While some may argue that some things a few decades ago were superior than the way they are now (I do recall when I could buy a slice of pizza and a soda for 75 cents, a comic book for 60 cents and a train fare for 10 cents) but other than prices and inflation, we need to really sit back and gauge what we are really saying.

People will comment on how everything from crushes, bullying, meeting women, sports, hip hop, dances, cartoons, movies, toys, and newspapers were better than they are now. People call this nostalgia. I am sure you have heard someone you know, particularly an elder or even someone in their late twenties or early thirties. What they fail to grasp is that as the definition above states, it's an irrecoverable condition.

While there are times to wax nostalgic, like remembering the old times with the wife before we were married or remembering our frolicking days as college youth or playing kick the can in the street right before the street lights came on. It's good to do that. It's great to relive memories long past. It allows people to look back at their lives lovingly. It becomes harmful when we start to talk about serious issues such as crime, education, politics, war, and health.

The first thing it does is provide a sense of superiority or a smug air of indifference among the person who lays down the complaint. “Kids aren't how they used to be when I was coming up, they respected their elders...” It's as if the previous generation was superior in all ways then the subsequent generation.
It explains away the current problems by blaming those that come after the previous generation. The issues are much more complicated than than.

The second thing that this dangerous form of nostalgia does is remove accountability by placing blame on everyone else. If the problem is with this new generation, then it's not my fault. I don't have to do anything to fix it. It also implies that I had no part in it as well. The reason why these youngbloods don't know their hip hop history is because we didn't teach it to them and allowed someone else to do it who had no interest in the preservation of said culture. This type of nostalgia makes us complacent and we assume it excuses us of any problem solving.

As I stated above, blaming it on the new generation removes any form of analysis of the issue. There are reasons why this current generation of young people is different from ours. They have access to much more information, other people and cultures, and have the opportunities to be raised by a much more educated family. They have much more access to things that as children we only dreamed about. Their stimuli is much different than ours. As parents, we have much more information on medicine and child psychology than ever before. Of course, this new generation will be different just like we were different from the generation before us.

Oftentimes when we think of the past, we tend to embellish what actually happened. Some of us even indulge in some revisionist history. “Is this what we marched in the sixties for?” Laments an elder. “You were in the Civil Rights movement?” Most of the time, he or she replies no but claims to be a part just because members of the Black freedom rights struggle came from his or her generation. In this case, one is not guilty by association. In doing this, we again refuse to look at how things have progressed and assume that because the world is not like we remember it, then things must be wrong. None of this is based on sound science.

Finally, we need to look at solutions and not how things used to be. Remember, those things are not coming back. We shouldn't try to figure out how to return things to yesteryear but instead how to progress and move into the future. There are things from the past that we should attempt to emulate and some things that we need to leave in the history books. Some things are best discussed over a beer.
Nostalgia can be like a drug. It can alleviate some pain but it can become addictive and cause us to be complacent.

2010-09-09T13:59:00.001-04:00

A Few Things I Notice about Finding that One: Yet Another Relationship Post

As a blogger for a little over 8 years, I have noticed a few things. The posts that get the most love are those about loving relationships. I can blog about race, comics, war, politics, my personal life, capoeira, hip hop, or any other topic and I never get as many comments, views, re-posts, emails, and phone calls then my posts about relationships. Ironically, it's usually not the posts about my wife and I but that is another post for another day.

Lately, relationships have been on a number of people's minds. We can thank the mainstream media, books, movies, and discussions by the water fountain. Of course, on top of the jewels that we should be paying attention to there is a large mountain of foolishness, tomfoolery, and charlatanism that seems to provide a lucrative career for a handful of men. There is no need to call out names. My point is that to find someone you are compatible with is not that complicated. You don't have to buy pills, books, dvds, and attend seminars on this stuff. Just ask your parents and grandparents.

Secondly, while we all need to better ourselves on so many levels, most of us are fine just the way we are. So you have a little tummy. Or you can't run that mile and a half that you could twenty years ago. Or you picked up a bad habit or two. That doesn't mean that you are less than anyone else. And you shouldn't let no one else tell you that. We are not robots with interchangeable parts. There are too many people out there making loads of cash making you feel like crap. Don't buy into that.

Never, ever look at a relationship you ended as a failure. Look at it as a success. Why? Well, you learn something from it. Trust me when I tell you that you can learn something from every relationship you have whether you had a terrible boss at the job you just quit, a great college professor, or with a criminally minded cousin. For some reason, we are being told that once we end a relationship such as in a divorce we are morally inept. I see this thrown into the faces of many single moms and divorcees out there. I think that is totally unfair and sexist. We need to realize that some things don't work out the way we want no matter how good we plan. It's called life.

Science is important. Yes, science is important even in relationships. We must approach any situation or event with sound minds and calm hearts. Of course sometimes this is difficult. Yet I find too much of us moving about with nonsense posing as science while saying at the same time that science should have nothing to do with affairs of the heart. In conversations I have several times a day I hear people say “men do this...” and “women do that..” without any science to support it. That's called hearsay not science. Much of it is sexist and unfounded. We should not pretend otherwise.

Finally, to treat one another with respect and dignity is not a hard thing to do. I don't just mean this in our most intimate relationships but in our day to day interactions. Random acts of kindness are free and help people in so many ways. I didn't say you have to be Gandhi, I am just urging folks to be more polite and open. Too many of us carry our wounds on our chest and seem to assume that our problems are more important than others. We expect the world to take notice and get mad when it doesn't work out that way. So we should learn how to heal and to take things in stride. The world owes you nothing.
Trust me when I say being nice pays in so many ways.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

2010-09-07T23:08:00.002-04:00

Countdown to the Tenth Anniversary: 9 Days to Go

One memory that I have was during our 2nd year of marriage. We linked up with a couple who were close friends of ours. They were having a get together with some other married couples we didn't know. In all, it was a total of 4 couples. Our friends were newly weds but were together longer than my wife and I. The other couple whose home we ended up visiting were married as long as my wife and I. The fourth couple were married for close to 6 years.

The hosts had a newly wed game. We thought it would be a good idea if we all jumped in. I am a betting man, so I jumped in feet first. We got our butts whipped. We got about 6 questions out of 30 correct. Guess who won? The newly weds. Looking back I don't recall them getting any wrong. I think they aced it.

I was embarrassed. I really was embarrassed. I am a sore loser but you know what, you should NOT lose a newly wed game. Never. If you have to cheat, by all means. And I don't cheat. But yo, you just don't want to. It was a long drive home that evening. When we got in bed, we debriefed. What happened back there? We decided from that point on to be like that couple that blew everyone out of the water. Heck, we still talked about it until...

Fast forward 3 years later. I left out the fact that the newly weds always, always had drama. I mean there were plenty a late night I had to show up to stop 5-0 from bumrushing the show at their home. There were threats of violence and suicide. Yes, there was infidelity. I use that word because I don't think I can call what went down as infidelity. It was low, down and dirty. No need for details here. It was just ugly.

We realized that oftentimes, as couples we like to put up facades that everything is hunky dory. I seen marriages fall apart that just the other day seemed okay. Both parties said all was good in disney land. So we kept it moving. But it wasn't. It was a valuable lesson for us.

I often hear friends say “I want to have what you two have...” We are flattered but we tell folks that they shouldn't aspire to have what we have. While people have been married for centuries and all relationships have fundamentals that are inherent in all, they are still unique when it comes to their level of intimacy and interaction. What me and my wife have is difficult to imitate. Just like what other couples we know and have is difficult to imitate. There are some things you can learn from what we do but you can't be another set of Omi's.

People have actually gone out and set out to be Omi's. I have had men sit in my living room and say, “hey I want my wife to talk to your wife so she can do _____ .” My wife had women talk to her and say “I want my husband to talk to your husband so he can do ____ .” It doesn't go down like that. And yes we told them no. We are not the holy grail of marriages. We are just two regular folks who just work it out. That doesn't mean you can't ask for help or advice. That's what we here for, right? Just don't worship us or put us on a pedestal.

2010-09-06T21:24:00.002-04:00

Countdown to the Tenth Anniversary: 10 Days to Go

“Why are you doing this?” Many people ask.

The first reason is because people are so used to hearing so many horror stories when it comes to marriage. Then you have the numbers. You can't expect people to find marital bliss with those numbers. I remember when I read the book “Chickenhawk” about Huey pilots in Vietnam. One of the commanding officers had the nerve to walk in and tell the Huey pilots that every time they fly out into a hot fire zone, that 1 in 20 of them won't make it back. Then again, there is a lot of money to be made in divorce so those numbers might put things in perspective. I digress.

The second reason is that on the other side of the coin, you get all these romantic movies made about these wonderful 65 year marriages. I often hear people lament, “I want what my grandparents had – 65 years!” (Unfortunately, most people won't even work hard enough to maintain a decent, functioning relationship). I want to help dispel the myth that all marriages are just fun times at disney land. They aren't.

Third, you don't hear about the other stories. You know, the gazillion other marriages that are just “regular.” They aren't these big things we can write movies about. They are just regular every day folk who work it out as much as they can. And they win. But they don't have these great stories of how they met or when they realized they were going to get married. No one had epiphanies. No mystery god came down and said “she's the one, homie, handle your B.I.” I find that to be our story. I am not saying it's boring but it's life. We don't all live in a full technicolor, excuse me HD, movie.

Finally, (I know it's a lot) no one hears about us ten year anniversary couples. Or the 15th anniversary or the 20th anniversary folks for that matter. You don't really hear people clapping until the 25th anniversary. I mean, like I said before 10 years in the grand scheme of things might not be much but you have to get pass ten to get to twenty to get to twenty five and so on and so forth. I thought it would be great to talk about ten years because no one else does. Looking back, I didn't do much planning for it, I should have said all this in the first place.

Yet here we are, ten years making it work. I plan on doing this again in fifteen, twenty and twenty five. After that you have to fly over and ask me.

2010-09-05T22:16:00.000-04:00

Countdown to the Tenth Anniversary: 11 Days to Go

Omi's Note: For those that don't know, this is the 3rd installment in this series. You don't have to but I urge that you read the previous two before this one and yes, pass it along. For those that have passed it along, thank you so much.

Family is so important. I mean I don't think I can emphasize in words how important family is. When people ask me how they know if the person they are seeing is someone is a potential mate, I urge them to visit them when they are with his or her family. Once you meet his or her family, everything will be clear and that is when you will know what you will be getting into.

The biggest worry I had, because everyone loves my family, is that my family wouldn't like my future wife. They did. I felt like Atlas when he asked Hercules to hold the sky for him. It was such a relief. If your family is down for the cause, things will be so much easier when it comes to raising babies, having someone to lean on, or having a place to crash when you are in town. Blood is thicker than water, right?

Imagine a family tree. Well, when one gets married, one starts another branch of that family tree. So it's important that your parents and siblings are down for the cause. It's important that your babies know who you and your spouse come from. While it is true that we cannot help what family we are born into. Some of us have been born into horrific circumstances. While I find that we are products of our experiences, relationships, and environment, that doesn't mean that we should be prisoners of abuse and neglect.

A solid foundation and blood in your corner is something that can help out one's marriage big time. For those who come from a not so substantial family base, you might have to build a non blood family network from scratch (many have) while building your own family. Yet it remains, family is mad important.

So if you want an easy litmus test, take your potential mate by your parents for dinner. You know what they say, “momma knows best” (just ask John Connor, his moms was on point). And dad, you either love him or hate him.

2010-09-02T23:22:00.003-04:00

Countdown to the Tenth Anniversary: 13 Days to Go

Yes, I won the lotto! No, not the mega millions (well one can say she is worth millions)! I know that at times it seems I am a pretty okay person but I disagree. Being brutally honest comes with the brutal side. I say what I feel and I hold nothing back. It's a thing that's passed down in my family. However, we were never taught how to be tactful. So all kinds of things fly out of my mouth. I had no issues finding a decent woman, but I had problems keeping one.

I go into these rants/soliloquies. I mean, I love them. I should record them. So many eloquent words and so many expletives. It can be about anything: democrats, republicans, the city commission system in my city, the aversion to change that people have, poor parents, crooked cops, low taxes, etc. Maybe I should have been an actor. As I get older, I seem to become more and more of an old Dominican man. So some of my rants are in Spanish. So I just continue to add into the confusion.

Did I mention that I love to joke around? Sometimes, I joke around a little too much. Even in the tenth year of marriage I play games. Unfortunately, my wife seems to forget that and get's caught up in my pranks. And I am a sarcastic somebody. Don't say anything remotely obvious around me. I speak in riddles, early 90's slang/godspeak, and Marvel Comics Stan Lee. You will not get a straight answer if you ask a simple question. The wife calls me her fourth child.

Just imagine who I felt when she said yes! Holy smokes, for real! Yes indeedy, true believers. Old Dan Tres Omi, the infamous loud mouth, was getting married. Who would have thought? I actually used to think that one day I would wake up with a knife in my chest (For all the pranks you pencil necked geek!) but here I am ten years later, a little shabby but wiser.

I guess thats why there are such high divorce rates (the other being that it is much easier to get a divorce than it was 30 to 40 years ago). You don't just marry the good parts of a person, you marry the bad parts, too. After a few years, the bad parts can wear someone down. Oftentimes, we place too much emphasis on the good parts and pretty much ignore the bad stuff. Even if someone's negative attributes aren't that bad, being married really means you will be spending large amounts of time with the same person for years on end. I can see how people can just split. It's not easy. I know on a day to day, I am not the easiest person to deal with. And yes, I play too much.

So again, the wife gets mad love.

2010-09-01T22:07:00.002-04:00

Countdown to the Tenth Anniversary: 14 Days to Go

Just like that, it came. Don't get me wrong. I don't find life to be short. I find it to be nice and long. Ten years of marriage. Who would have thought? Usually our anniversary sneaks up on us. Just when we stopped worrying about what to do for the previous one, the other one comes along.

We have been through so much. While it's been all hard work, it's been worth it. The marriage that is. I remember the other night while watching my wife make a present for a friend of ours. She was placing prints on a set of sheets.

I am no visual artist so I could not fathom how she was going to do it. Yet she did it. As usual, I had the opportunity to watch her through the entire process. I have seen my wife make all kinds of things from cupcakes from scratch to soap and purses from scraps of clothing. She is and has always been amazing. Seeing her create reminds me that we are the gods and goddesses.

Marriage has been a wonderful thing for us. I have learned so much about us and about life. I also learned so much about myself. For some ten years may seem like a lot, but quite honestly it isn't. I know folks who have married and divorced and married again within that time. Trees grow within ten years. I realized that this is the beginning. We have a few more decades in this thing. At this point, I don't plan on returning my wife's model. Then again, there isn't a money back guarantee. It's through sickness and in health right?

It has been an adventure of sorts. One that keeps going each day. Some days, we crash hard. Some days we ride high on the waves. Sometimes we don't see danger coming and sometimes the sun shines like it's not going to end. However, if giving the opportunity over again, I would jump in like my man in Back to the Future.

I will have to point out that when you marry, you don't get dropped off on the deserted island. There are people along the way who helped out in big ways and small. Some might think that they did not contribute to our love, but they have. I think I can write 1,000 blog posts thanking those folks.

It was Kurt Vonnegut's son, whose name eludes me at this moment (and no I won't google it, I have to use my memory), said that in life, we need to help each other. My wife is like that b-girl who helps me rock the cipher commando style. And we get down.

2010-08-23T18:01:00.000-04:00

Eligible Bachelor User Guide: How to approach women Part IV

As mentioned before, there is not secret to approaching an attractive young lady. If anything, meeting a young lady, getting a phone number, and then setting up a date is probably the easiest part of the entire thing. I know it sounds easy. However, being yourself and trying not to act like an overrated actor is actually not a hard thing to do either. Yet it doesn't take much to blow chunks when approaching a woman.

The first thing people usually ask is “what do I say?” Let's destroy a myth right now. There isn't one line that works each and every time. So try to get that out of your head right now. Yes, I often hear the same cats use the same line in several different cities at several different kinds of venue as if no one else has used it before. Again, be yourself. Try not to cop lines from a movie or a book because chances are, people know about it. If you forgot, please re-read part II of this user guide.

People find breaking the ice in any setting difficult. Do you notice that when companies start to train their employees or you enter a 300 to 400 level college course, the folks in charge always begin sessions with an ice breaking exercise? It's an easy way to get everyone to warm up to one another. The same applies to meeting someone. Throwing a stupid line into the mix messes all that up. Unless you are a Jedi Master who can do flips all day long to get someone's attention, the best way to do it is to keep it simple.

Greeting and then introducing yourself is by far the simplest way of doing that.

“Well what if she is with a group of her friends?” You ask.

Didn't your momma teach you to introduce yourself to everyone you meet? Well, do it. If she has four friends with her, introduce yourself to all of them. Manners work best. So if she is with a group of women, politely ask to jump into the conversation. No one likes to be left out.

Many argue that attempting to approach a woman when she is with a group of friends is like swimming in a pool of sharks. I disagree. I find this as an opportunity to shine. It is an opportunity to show and prove. However, it is rude to interrupt people. People are people. When people are having a good conversation with one another, they don't want anyone jumping in and messing that up. That's what you are doing when you are approaching a woman when she is with her friends. How do you break the ice? We will explore that later on in another chapter. Just keep in mind that being polite works. If someone protests and asks you to leave in any way, apologize and bounce. Save face while you can.

I digress.

Remember to keep it simple. Introduce yourself and pay attention. She might say something that you can build off of. In the education field, it's called scaffolding. We will review a scenario in the next chapter.

2010-08-18T22:53:00.001-04:00

The Hood Life: What they don't show on the Wire

I have a love/hate relationship with cable shows like the Wire. While the writing is superb and most of the stories from headlines and police blotters most people assume that all of the people who live in the 'hood or the projects are just like the characters in those stories. As I traveled the country to lecture and teach, people usually balk when I tell them I was raised in the projects. At work, I tend to encounter many big wigs in the military industrial complex and you should see the looks I get when I tell folks I hail from the Bronx, NY.

We know the assumptions and stereotypes. People from the hood have low morals and have sex like kittens (whatever that means). Most of us are criminals and most of us just want to collect welfare and never work a day in our lives. None of us want to live a better life or pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. We just want to get over on everyone.

It is unfortunate that like most disenfranchised people are usually described according to how a small percentage of said population acts. Looking back and comparing notes with my colleagues, I realized we did the same thing most Americans do and want on a daily basis. We played baseball. We played with Transformers and G.I. Joe that our parents purchased for us. We went on family vacations when we could afford it. We wanted to do good in school. Our parents disciplined us and we suffered the consequences of our actions. We wanted to go to college and many of us did. Many of us served in the military. Many of us got married and had children.

By the way, some of us died in good old fashioned way: accidents, illnesses, and other ways that everyone else dies. Many of us were raised very well and we frown upon loose morals. Many of us worked our way through college. So yes, a great number of us pulled ourselves up by our boot straps.
Did I mention that we speak standard english, too?

Ghetto folk, like any other folk around the world, have their bad as well as their good. Yet to let others tell it, all of us are bad. No one says that the folks in the “American Beauty” represent all of the people who live in suburbia. People don't watch movies like Kalifornia and assume all poor white folks are serial killers. However, when people see movies like “Boyz N Da Hood,” they assume all of us were gangbangers and baby mamas.

So people, don't be surprised when your college professor tells you that at one time in a galaxy far, far away, he grew up in Compton. Folks, don't trip when your colleague tells you she came up in Cabrini Green. And people, don't catch a heart attack when you learn your boss was born and raised in Queensbridge Houses. Not all of us are drug dealers and stick up kids.

2010-08-17T09:16:00.000-04:00

Eligible Bachelor User Guide: How to approach women Part III

One of the many definitions of “confidence” is “the quality or state of being certain.” That's the one we are going to run with. I must note that there is a thin line between being confident and being arrogant. We must refer to the proverbial job interview where potential employers look for confidence in their potential employees. Everyone admits that they can immediately smell confidence. Most people also admit that they can smell fear.

This applies to approaching a young lady. One must make eye contact. Do some smiling. Pay attention to what she says. Respond to her queries in kind. Do exactly what you would do for a job interview. Those little things go along way. For an old job and my current, I conduct scores of interviews each week. Those are the little things I look for. While first impressions make a lasting impression, most employers know that the person they interview on day one will hopefully evolve into something better in the years to come.

Shifty eyes implies that someone is being dishonest. Please remove those sunglasses especially if you are in doors. Physiologists point out that when one doesn't smile it means he or she is hiding something. So make sure you brushed your gums and flossed. One of the sure shot ways of answering a question properly is to listen to what is being asked. Most people, if not all, want folks to listen to them. You will get 1,000,000 cool points just for listening and paying attention.

One thing I have learned while conducting interviews is that even the most confident person can make a mistake. We are human right? That doesn't mean, I shouldn't hire that person. I give them the opportunity to correct their mistake. Some people fall over over themselves and some redeem themselves with ease. Don't be afraid or give up if you stutter or trip on your own feet. Sometimes the young lady you are attempting to talk to is nervous, too. Messing up might be a nice way to break the ice.

Speak with conviction. A close friend used to tell me, “I don't know much, but what I do know I know well.” While we will get into what to talk about in part four, I always tell folks to stick with what you know. If you don't, just ask. Turn the attention around and ask questions. Then listen. This also points out that you are human and aren't afraid to learn something new.

Going back to being arrogant. Arrogance is defined as “exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance often by an overbearing manner.” We can think of other synonyms for being arrogant but you all catch my drift. As stated before there is a thin line between being confident and arrogant. While you should step up like you own the room, you must remember that you don't own the room. While you should approach a young lady with the confidence that you will set up a first date, you must know that she might already be spoken for or she won't be interested in you. Never assume and don't take rejection like an NBA star takes a foul call (I dislike to use sports analogies but they seem to work almost all of the time). Be a gentleman and be sure of who you are.

2010-08-09T23:07:00.002-04:00

The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships
By Hill Harper

Review by Dan Tres Omi

I tend to stay away from “relationship” books even when I was single. If they don't come from a fundie Christian slant, they come from a New Age one. Relationship books tend to be very vague and are based on stereotypes instead of science. Many argue that relationships should not be based on science but then we base our relationship advice on nonsensical anecdotes from our friends. Some even approach astrologists for relationship advice. Several of my peers advised me to check out Hill Harper's latest book. The sub title suggested that it would be a well balanced book providing advice to both men and women.

The book should be titled “Dicktation: This is what black women need to do to get a man.” Harper writes yet another tome that tells Black women that they are doing everything when it comes to finding a potential mate. At first, Harper starts off on the right foot when he urges everyone not to fall back into stereotypes when we have an unfortunate experience in a bad relationship. He spends one chapter on this. I thought it was awesome. However, Harper must have hired the wrong editor. In the subsequent chapters he pretty much does the opposite as he discusses every stereotype in the He Man woman hater's book (from “Black women have attitudes” to “Black women don't support their men”).

While Harper admits in the first chapter that he does not qualify to tell anyone what to do about relationships, he proceeds to write a book about it anyway. To add insult to injury, Harper continues to refer to a young lady he met at a private party and then takes one month to call her back. In other words, Harper doesn't even fall back on his previously relationships. Instead he sets up discussions with some friends and lets them run their mouths. Of course, he gives the men much more burn and lets them say a gang of sexist and untrue statements (re:stereotypes).

Harper doesn't introduce anything new to the discussion and does not provide any Aha moments. Other than the first chapter where he urges us to avoid the pit of stereotyping, Harper just rehashes the same old, same old. Some might argue that he is just being honest. I don't doubt that he is however, how we feel about one another is much deeper than what we actually experience. Relationships are complicated and no one has the silver bullet to fix all of them or just ours. However, our conversations about relationships should move beyond just how the last girl did me wrong. We should be discussing how religion, stereotypes, racism, society, and other stimuli affect how we view not just ourselves but one another. Harper's latest fails to do that miserably.

2010-08-05T22:12:00.001-04:00

Eligible Bachelor User Guide: How to approach women Part II

This one is a fairly easy one. Heck, people make a gang of movies telling us that when it comes to meeting people one should just be who they are. It sounds simple but I often hear people say “he wasn't the person I met a few months ago.”

I know as a youngblood, I watched older cats approach women. Some of these older cats were smooth operators. They just knew what to say. It sounded smooth. When I tried to do the same, it just didn't work for me. I quickly realized that I was not the smooth cat with the dope lines.

I know what you are thinking: “the regular me isn't all that...” While it may not be all that to some people, it might be all that for quite a few (we will discuss confidence in part III). While there might be a small percentage of you blokes who might need to take some anger management classes, learn how to loosen up, and broaden your vocabulary, if you are just who you are more people will see that.

We are always talking about keeping it real, well here is your opportunity. I would be lying if I didn't say that when I stopped using the smooth lines and was just Dan Tres Omi, I got shot down quite a few times. I got shot down more often than not but I can't make everyone happy and maybe that young lady (or two, or three, or four...) just wasn't looking to speak. It doesn't mean that I need to throw away the current Omi model.

Being yourself is being honest. Being honest can go along way. I can bet the bank on that. If the other person isn't interested, then that's fine too. If you are not comfortable in your own skin then you might want to stop reading right now. If there is anything a good number of women tell me, it's that they prefer someone how is honest from the jump. What better way to start off by just being yourself?

2010-08-02T22:00:00.002-04:00

Eligible Bachelor User Guide: How to approach women Part I

Omi's Note: This post in no way condones the street harassers and the wanna be pimps. These upcoming posts will be about how to speak to women in a respectful manner when trying to get a phone number and a date. While these tidbits of advice might prove successful in several cases, they will not help some of you at all. Nothing trumps home training. Bad habits are very hard to kill. I urge the menfolk who read my blog to please pass this on.

For those that don't know me, I am a happily married man. My wife and I will be hitting our tenth anniversary in September. So it's been awhile since I have even come close to any “scene.” In my travels, I have realized two things. Most men, even those who have good intentions, have no clue on how to approach a woman they are interested in. The second thing I realized is that even the men I know very well who are intelligent, handsome, and financially successful also have no clue on how to approach a woman they are interested in.

Yes, it all came as quite a shock to me. I assumed that most men like myself, slowly grew the confidence and the vocabulary (no not pimpspeak) to break the ice and then maintain a decent conversation with an attractive and intelligent young lady. As I hover over conversations at parties, use public transportation, or eavesdrop at a coffee shop, I find many a daring yet unprepared bachelor stumbling over words, ruining jokes, and making a plan ass of themselves as they try to engage young ladies. It's a damn shame.

Many of my sister friends and comrades have asked this old warrior for some advice. After so many inquiries, I decided to go ahead and write a series of posts. So this will be the first of many. I don't have all the answers but when it comes to meeting folks and striking up conversation, I can have bloods and crips singing christmas carols. This doesn't mean that these posts will help young men find Ms. Right. Heck, it might not even get you a phone number. Which leads to our first point: rejection.

If anything, babies cannot handle rejection. When I say babies, I mean preschoolers. Unfortunately, many of us don't grow out of that phase and continue to throw tantrums when rejected by anyone in any situation. If I learned anything, attempting to meet an attractive woman and get a phone number is a numbers game. If I wrote it all down in a book, I think I would have more chapters filled with rejections then phone numbers. That doesn't even count the fake phone numbers I was given.

I have learned very early in life is that rejection is a huge part of life. Think of all those pulitzer prize winning authors who were rejected by almost every publishing house until someone took a chance. Think of all of those musicians who weren't even allowed a chance to hand over a demo. It happens to the best of us. If anything, rejection should make us get back out there and put in more work.

So if you try to spark up a conversation with a young lady and she shoots you down, don't take it personal. Thank her for her time and keep it moving. It might not be about you. She might have had a bad day. The last three guys who approached her were probably harassers. She might have a loving boyfriend who makes her happy. So even if she says something smart or ignores you, treat it like a job interview that ends with the proverbial “we'll hold your resume for 6 months,” just shrug it off.

Reacting negatively to rejection is a sure sign of immaturity and poor home training. Cursing someone out because they refuse to speak to you or offer you a number is actually disrespectful and if her boyfriend stands up and hands you a knuckle sandwich it is justice. If anything, you might want to go back to the lab and rethink your approach. Once you can handle rejection, the rest is gravy.

2010-05-25T20:11:00.002-04:00

Tried by Twelve: The Consequences of Gun Violence and Negative Stereotypes

As foul as it may sound, I assumed that Aubrey Berry would be found guilty of manslaughter. When I learned he was acquitted of the murder of Atlanta rapper Dolla, it came as quite a shock. When one hears of a shooting death involving a black man, it is assumed that someone is going to jail. However, Berry's defense was able to convince the jury that Dolla planned on murdering Berry by introducing Dolla's music as evidence. Two trials come to mind.

Sometime in 1992, a Texas state trooper was killed by a young man. The defense claimed that the accused was heavily influenced by Tupac's album "2Pacalypse Now." Of course, the jury found this argument to be ridiculous and found the suspect guilty. I recall the snickers by commentators and news anchors. I remember former Vice President Dan Quayle making a big deal about Tupac's debut album and ordered that it be removed off of the shelves.

In Mumia Abu Jamal's original trial in 1981, the prosecution used Jamal's writing as a member of the Black Panther Party for Self Defense more than twenty years before the death of Daniel Faulkner. The prosecutor, who was actually quoting Mao, convinced the jury that Faulkner's death was premeditated since Jamal always had it in for law enforcement authorities. While the Jamal's case is much more complicated than the prosecutor's evidence, it is important to note that what someone wrote or placed in a song should have no bearing on someone's behavior just like the jury realized in the 1992 murder case.

In the 1990's there was a popular song by an independent artist called the East Flatbush Project called "Tried by Twelve." To this day, if a Dj drops this gem, everyone gets up. "Tried by Twelve" pretty much speaks for itself. The MC/producer Spencer Bellamy explains that he would rather be the shooter than the victim hence the line "I'd rather be tried by twelve then carried by six." Ironically, this is the sentiment felt by many of us. Quite honestly, I think the jury found Berry well within his rights to defend himself. Berry claimed that several men including Dolla, assaulted him at a nightclub in Atlanta. When both men ended up at the same restaurant at a mall in LA, Berry stated that he felt threatened by Dolla when the rapper taunted Berry as he walked to his car.

Many will say that Berry made a wrong move and that Dolla's death was senseless. From my experience, I can say that beef between the two was probably over something trivial however Berry felt that his life was in danger. As someone who organized shows, I have received threats from several people for the most trivial of matters and I did feel that my life was in danger. Like Berry, carrying a firearm was the only way I felt safe. Unfortunately, I know quite a few people who are not criminals who feel that his life is in danger and most of them have permits to carry firearms. While none of us were there at both incidents and it is natural for both sides to have conflicting stories yet it is interesting how the defense was able to use Dolla's lyrics to convince the jury that he planned on killing Berry.

What bothers me is that the defense claimed that Dolla came from a culture that promoted this violence. Here is the irony: although I claim that the culture I am in does not promote gun violence, I still find that I must use gun violence to defend myself. I must point out that several of my peers and myself are law abiding citizens with careers and family. Heck, some of us are very active in our communities. I would prefer peace through mediation and would like to avoid drama, however the circumstances several of my peers and I find ourselves in dictate that we must be armed. That needs to change.

We cannot fault a racist system that says we are killers and promoters of senseless gun violence if we in turn uphold those stereotypes by choosing to carry weapons. Berry, like most of us, understood that once he put that firearm in his waistband and something goes down, there is no turning back. Again, I am not removing any responsibility on the racist system that says we are criminals and should be locked in cages since that same system (legal, educational, economic, etc.) that continues perpetuate the environment we live in.

As men, we should discuss how we settle our disputes as men and we should learn and apply functioning and beneficial concepts of manhood. We must learn that many of our trivial beefs are petty and can be easily mediated face to face. I recall Jeff Zimbalist and Matt Mochary's documentary "Favela Rising." The documentary centers around a former drug dealer turned youth activist named Anderson Sa who along with his former drug mates, starts a cultural movement to save the youth of his favela. In one scene, former rivals of Sa threaten to capture and kill Sa while accusing him of using his activism to kill and torture his former rival's family members. When his friends, family, and fellow activists urge him to flee, Sa refuses and explains that he is totally innocent and must face his accusers. Sa also realizes that if he flees others will fight and die in his stead. When his former rivals arrive at his home, they question him and come to believe that he is innocent. All bloodshed is averted. We must be like Sa and face down our problems.

We are men. Our ancestors have done much more with so much little. We owe it to them and our children to stand down. Maybe Bellamy's song will just remain a nod to the way things were and not how they should be.

2010-05-17T21:52:00.003-04:00

I Ain't Never Scared: Growing up, Married with Children

Any job relocation, whether military or non military, is hard on everyone. Moving away from family, friends, and long established social networks is difficult for the adults and the children. As usual, the children bounce back with almost no problems. They have school and other extra curricular activities where they can make new friends. I never realized that it would be tougher on my wife and I to do the same.

As we get older and place more attention on children, work, and bills, we tend to venture out less. We tend to stick with what we know. It's easier to settle then to try to trek outside of one's usual social circle. Anyone will tell you, I have no qualms with striking up conversations with any stranger in almost any setting. Give me a beer, throw me in a party, and soon I will have the floor entertained with my sea stories.

For adults slowly approaching our middle ages, my wife and I remain very active in our communities. The difference between us and other folks our age is that we are not a church going family and the social networks do no revolve around the usual groups (Freemasons, Greek letter organizations, etc.) so our demographics are way different.

I will admit that coming to Ohio has proven difficult for me to find middle aged men of color who are vegetarian, agnostic/atheist, conscious, a true hip hop head, and physically active for me to hang out with. In other words, there are very few a-alikes my age who live within a 50 mile radius. While some of my students have some of the same interests I have, all of them are at least 10 years younger and single. I have no problems hanging out with them but I can't seek advice from them or find a broader sense of brotherhood when I am with them.

I am flattered when my students balk at my age. I am 37 and don't look a day over 25. That's on purpose. I didn't inherit any non aging gene. I just don't sit still. I am not bar hopping or chasing skirts either. I am hanging out with my family, dear friends, and chasing our babies. That's what keeps me young. I also still b-boy, play soccer, hike, bike ride, play capoeira, and other things that keep me active. I am well read, attend progressive events, involve myself in many community activities, and I never hesitate to help folks out when I can. However, I am not part of a gym, b-boy/b-girl crew, organized sports league, church, civic league or biking team. I don't necessarily do things to "stay in shape." I stay active because I enjoy staying active. I must point out that I don't make loads of cash either.

Once again, I am at a loss of finding men of color my age who do the same. Don't get me wrong, I do many things men my age do such as barbeque, smoke cigars, and drink beer (that's what I saw men at 37 do when I was 7, 17, and 27). Heck, every now and then I like to fall asleep on the couch watching UFC. I don't think I am fundamentally different from any brother at age 37.

I know it is too much to ask to find a thirty something agnostic/atheist, vegetarian, conscious, and athletic person of color to hang with (some of my female friends tell me this all of the time) and this experience has taught me something that I really want to address: alot of ya'll are scared. Yes, I said it. Some of you are scared stiff. Before you assume I am just being bitter because I can't find any homies, hear me out.

I know once we pass the age of 30, physically we start to slow down. We can't hang with the youngbloods anymore. As males, this affects us in so many ways. Some people call it a mid life crisis even though I feel that at 30, some of us can do much better than those ten years younger than we are in any field physical or mental. Many of us come to grips with our pending mortality. Due to our unhealty lifestyle during our late teens and twenties, some of us find our bodies breakdowning. Heck, some of us start to suffer from soon to be chronic physical ailments. It sounds as if I am talking about the elderly, but some of you act as if you are in your sixties. I listen to a large number of you lament how things were before you turned 30. I cringe when I hear men my age admit to settling down because they didn't want to be the 38 year old guy in the club. I hear some of you complain about bad backs, water in the knee, or old sports injuries (that happened at least 10 years ago!). Some of you are really scared.

So I understand when some of us who were railing non Christians in their twenties are now hard core fundies who aren't in the "world" anymore. I understand when I see some of us spending more time in the couch than being active in any way, shape, or form. When I see some of us acquire bad habits because we come to realize our "fate." It's sad really. Some of my peers will say that I refuse to quit because I am being rebellious. I doubt that. I will say that I refuse to be 40 and not be able to look at my toes while standing up. I also want to be amongst men who engage and challenge me. I don't want to be challenged in a physical sense but I want to broaden my cipher so to speak. I want to learn new ideas and rethink or retool ones I already have. In other words, our friendships should reciprocate.

I am going to need some of you brothers to think outside the box. I am going to need some of you to challenge the norm. I urge you to try something new for a change. Don't be scared. Trust me, hellfire is not awaiting you if you miss a day of church to go hiking or go get coffee and build. Reading books outside of the Bible, you'd be surprise how much you learn. Here some news: eventually we all die. Yup. All of us buy the farm and can't take nothing with us. So we might as well enjoy our time together on this mudball. So let's grab a mountain bike, or a jump rope, or attend a yoga workshop, or even go for a walk while we puff on our cigars. Let's enjoy or successes and let's share pointers on rearing children and keeping the wife happy. In other words, LET'S BUILD!

2010-05-14T08:04:00.000-04:00

Immigration: the Good, the Bad, and The Ugly

Politics in the good ol' United States of America never, ever fails when it comes to fear mongering. Just when one political party is on the ropes, it uses fear tactics to drum up support, fire up the base, and win new voters. The Bush Administration used it in Bush's second run and Reagan used it on both of his runs. Don't fret, right wingers, the Dems have used it way before the party of Lincoln even thought about it. The "other/trope" has been used to wage wars, win public office, and to move legislation.

We always seem to need the proverbial scapegoat to blame everything on. The housing bubble is blamed on those poor (re:non white) folks who have no business owning a home applying for sub prime loans. Crime is also blamed on the voiceless. Drugs and drug gangs are blamed on those swarthy folks climbing over the border. So it makes sense to pass legislation to legalize racial profiling.

The Good

Say What? There is something good about what the Arizona law makers are trying to pass? Of course there is silly! What happened in Arizona places the spotlight on immigration. When the Obama Administration took the helm, most people felt that immigration wouldn't be on the plate until his possible second term. We mustn't forget that the commonwealth of Pennsylvania plans on passing their form of racial profiling vis a vis immigration reform as well. For many politicians, this issue will be their litmus test. People are beginning to organize around this issue. Even organizations such as the Major League Baseball Union who never take a public political stance are weighing in on the matter. There are even calls for another Freedom summer in Arizona.

The Bad

Let's be honest. There are those who will pull over non whites with or without a law. This just legalizes it. What makes it worst is that this Arizona law will allow citizens to sue any Arizona state or local law enforcement agency if said citizen feels that this law is not being enforced. This forces the hand of law enforcement officers (LEOs) who don't racially profile. It's a part of the law that still causes me to scratch my head. So Arizona law makers want to find their courts in legal quagmires in an already bad economy?

The Ugly

It's sad that the poor farmer everyone seems to talk about and use as a martyr for the cause but can never name who was murdered will probably never see any justice (his name was Rob Krentz for those who want to know). So the rabid anti immigration camp is claiming that Krent was killed by drug gangs from Mexico despite the fact that there is no evidence on any suspects. It's amazing how people tie any spike in crime to illegal immigrants. People tend to forget that violent crimes across the United States continues to drop each year (don't believe me? look it up).This is where fear mongering comes in. Politicians like to ride that pale horse of being tough crime. Let's be honest here. This law is a litmus test. If you claim to be against it the idea that you are for illegal immigration hence crime, can kill you at the polls.

The Ugly Truth

It's racist to assume that all people who enter the U.S. illegally are criminals. Plain and simple. Most people think that crossing the border is a walk in the park. As if Mexicans and their coakroaches just jump over an old picket fence and boom, they are in the good ol' US of A. This is not true. People die trying to enter the United States. What makes this so tragic is that once again, we want to put a band aid on cancer. People flock to the United States because there are no job prospects in their country of origin and many employers hire illegals quickly. Yet employers who hire illegals are not being discussed. What people fail to realize is that the reason why you can buy a box of fresh strawberries for less than $5 is because someon is hiring illegals at $3 an hour for 12 hours a day.

I recall the former President Vicente Fox talking out of the side of his mouth a few years ago. Folks like Fox are the direct reason for the employment conditions in his Mexico (he being a lackey for Coca Cola and all -- follow the money trail homies). Remember NAFTA? Once we realize that many politicians and corporations are the ones who help create the conditions that force people to risk life and limb to scratch a living, we can definitely change the way this dialogue is going. Yet if we don't suffer from a bad case of 1877 racism or 1990 affluenza, we suffer from amnesia. And that folks, is the whole truth.

2010-05-10T06:43:00.002-04:00

Constant Elevation

I enjoy training with my head instructor. Like most students, I become a better practitioner of Capoeira during each lesson. Not only does he teach me new things but he also points out the things that I am doing incorrectly. Usually, it is something I thought I was doing right. As a youngblood, I found this annoying. As I get older, I look forward to this. It helps me become a more experienced capoeira. It also demonstrates that I consistently need to work to improve my skills.

This lesson can also be applied to our intellect. Our brain does function like a muscle. If you don't use it, you lose it. There are studies that show that if one works on a crossword puzzle each day, it decreases one's chances of one being afflicted with a degenerative neurological disease.

There are certain books, theories, and modes of thought that I find to be the foundation of what I know. I can't front. While younger, I maintained a level of rigidity when it came to them. So I was sort of a fundamentalist of ideas. I remember someone saying to me during that time that as I get older I would discard some of those ideas. I grunted thinking I would never sell out in that fashion. I assumed that being older meant getting "soft" although I didn't know any elders who were soft. They were more patient and understanding but none were soft.

If there is anything all of my capoeira instructors taught me is to always challenge myself. It is the only way to become a better capoeirista. Okay, you can do a handstand and hold it for 10 seconds. Now can you hop on your hands? Okay, now you can hop on your hands. Can you do scissor kicks while you are hopping your hands? Just when I think I have it, they challenge me yet again. What my current instructor teaches me now is what's called the economy of movements. He consistently shows us better ways to execute and conquer moves by utilizing as little space and time as possible. It sounds easier than it actually is. One has to recondition one's muscle memory to execute movements one has done thousands of time into something that is faster, shorter, and with a minimum amount of steps.

Even though the last lesson is something that I learned to apply physically, it is a lesson that I have applied since I decided to be a part of a family. I realized that a good portion of what I learned is impractical. While much of it might have worked several decades ago and worked for one family, it might not work for us in the 21st century. I also noted that many of my teachers and elders weren't actually practicing what they were preaching. So I did like Bruce Lee, I took what was useful and discarded what wasn't.

To do so, is not easy. Again, I had to challenge myself. I had to re-evaluate what I learned. I had to retool it. Then try again. As usual, I was stubborn and set in my ways. So I would stick to ideas and plans that were totally fruitless. I know it's called insanity. It took me a second to realize some of it.

Constant elevation is what the gods and earths call it. Learning new and old things at each opportunity. Applying those new and old things. While doing this one learns about oneself. Some things new and some things one has never noticed.

The problem lies when we refuse to change or see something that actually doesn't work especially things that are harmful to us and others around us. We become stagnant. Even water that is not in motion becomes stale. What makes it more difficult is when everyone else is still clinging to outmoded ideas and one is afraid to admit that they are outmoded for fear of being ostracized. Because of this fear, many of us refuse to evolve and grow. The difficult part is overcoming that fear. Once we do, we can take the necessary steps to better ourselves and become better human beings.

2010-04-25T22:56:00.002-04:00

Men are Emotional Creatures, too.

"If love is against the law
listen I don't know
we got to change the way it's going down..."
-Trugoy of De La Soul, "Itzoweezee"

Omi's Note: I deeply appreciate the readers of my blog. Some of you have been readers since day one. Your support has been tremendous. I don't think there is enough I can say or do that can express my gratitude. There is something that I have noticed over the years that is stuck in my mind. When I write entries about love and intimate relationships, the menfolk tend leave no comments. I am not saying that the menfolk skip over my entries. It's just that I got an overwhelming response from women. While I find that the information I discuss in those particular entries are beneficial to all, I hope that it helps the menfolk. If anything, I write those stories for the brothers. I want them in the conversation just as much as the sisters. I hate to place yet another burden on the sisters, but I urge you to pass it on to your fathers, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, male friends, etc. Thanks again.

I often hear folks say, "Women are emotional creatures..." without providing any scientific proof. Heck, when it comes to discussing intimate relationships or love in general we say a gang of things that are unsubstantiated and quite simply untrue. Men and women are both human beings (homo sapien sapiens to be exact) and both men and women are emotional creatures. I have witnessed men fall apart at the seams for the love of a woman. I have seen men crumble when it came to the loss of a loved one. So yes, we can be just as emotional as women.

As a man I can say this: we have been raised to believe that expressing our emotion is a sign of weakness from the moment we begin to walk. I am guilty of this. I have told my sons that they should be men and to stop crying. As we grow to be teenagers, we discourage one another when it comes to expressing pain, loss, or betrayal. Instead we are raised to become emotionless soldiers who would rather inflict pain on someone else instead of admitting how we are hurt. When we leap into adulthood, we would rather lie about our sexual conquests then admit to our shortcomings when it comes to the women we date.

When talking to brothers when it comes to intimate relationships, I notice that we are quick to place blame and spread venom. When it comes to relationships, we also seem to find a way to place blame on women. We refuse to do any soul searching. We place all the emotional baggage on them. But while women carry bags, men carry emotional backpacks.

We cannot move forward when it comes to intimate relationships until we start to really delve into our emotions. I don't mean the boo hooing part (even though there is nothing wrong with crying), but the complexities of it. We need to avoid spreading generalizations and start to engage ourselves and one another when it comes to our emotions. Our locker room rants and raves should include discussions of love and intimacy (I know I can picture brothers clicking off -- please stay on). When we are at bars or at a football party, we should ease down on the testosterone and get to the heart of the matter.

What bothers me the most is when there is a crisis with a fellow brother and the young lady he is currently seeing or married to, is that usually it is a situation that snowballs from a series of events that has happened over a period of months or even years. While the sister has no qualms about discussing their emotional needs to anyone, the brother is usually mute. This is both troubling and dangerous. Just talking about some of these issues will accomplish so much.

There are so many misconceptions about emotional honesty. It does not make one less of a man. It does not mean you are more feminine (whatever that means). It doesn't mean that you're gay. It doesn't mean you are weak. A strong man is honest. A strong man is assertive and approaches his problems and shortcomings holistically. In some matters, being honest is a matter of life and death.

In the long run, it takes two to tangle. This discussion about marriage, love, and intimacy is extremely lopsided. We menfolk have remained too mute for too long.

Let's build.

2010-04-23T06:53:00.002-04:00

Remembering G.U.R.U.

I won't lie. As much as I hate listening to rumors and hearsay about anyone, I have to admit that the circumstances surrounding Keith Elam aka GURU's death sounds like a soap opera. It is sad not just for his fans but his family as well. It is unfortunate that the story of his ending has yet to be told and it's unfolding will be even more painful and ugly.

However, I am a fan. I have always been and always will be a fan of Gangstarr. Looking back at their extensive body of work, which for most hip hop groups 6 full lenth albums is an almost impossible feat (accomplished only by De La Soul, Public Enemy, Outkast and The Roots -- although the Roots have had several roster changes during their tenure). I knew that when I saw the chain and the star, I was going to get quality hip hop music.

When any of us here that gruff monotone voice, we will think of Guru and Premier, the dynamic duo that made up Gangstarr. Dj Premier, an accomplished producer on his own, did his best work with Guru. I don't think anyone can argue with that. The same can be said about Guru, who also has an extensive catalog without his partner in rhyme, sounded best alongside Dj Premier.

I remember when they released their first single "Manifest" back in 1989. I was at a high school jam at Rice High School and one of the cats I used to cipher with had an ill routine for this song even before I heard it. While the brother killed it on the dance floor, I remember almost snapping my neck when I heard the song and asking the Dj who it was. Everyone looked at me like I was nuts for not knowing who Gangstarr was. That following week, I heard Kool Dj Red Alert play "Words I Manifest" alongside another track "Positivity." I immediately knew that I was a hardcore fan.

I recall being in the Navy watching the first shots fired during Desert Storm on CNN. Then tuning into Rap City to watch "Who's Gonna Take the Weight." Guru's words were poignant and spoke directly to me. While listening to "Lovesick," I was recovering from a night of worshipping the porcelain god after drinking several bottles of yak when my then girlfriend dumped me. My eyelids were heavy as I continued to rewind the tape to listen to his words.

We were steeling ourselves to "Soliloquy of Chaos" in the safety of our ship. We were gathering up our troops to find the idiots who jumped one of our own. Yup, even in France we were participating in the "stupid nigga playoffs." Everytime I hear that track, I think of Kazoo (Rest in Power) and his cousin Capone who always seemed to have a Guru line for everything.

While chilling in my mother's project apartment, my brother Dj Dolo and I listened to a white label promo of "Question Remains" and were just awed. There was many a late night when my brother backspun "Mass Appeal" over and over. That track was consistently played on the radio and BET (yes! I said it).

When I was a bachelor living in god forsaken Virginia Beach, Virginia, my roommate Billie Wheelz and I blasted Moment of Truth each day. We would get up in the wee hours of the morning and one of us would already be blasting "Above the Clouds." The album Moment of Truth always brings back memories of my late bachelor years.

My children will always remember "Skillz" from the last Gangstarr album Ownerz. It was through this song that I was able to show them the fine art of uprocking. The babies continue to love this track and I am so glad to pass on the the voice and sound of the chain and the star.

Premier was right in his statement. Guru's voice will be forever etched in the hearts of his true fans. I doubt anyone can make a wack Gangstarr mix tape. As I grew into manhood, I can picture times when I took a deeper listen to Guru's words and found severl jewels. To this day, I find myself quoting him consistently. While some might doubt that he was one of the greatest, we can't argue that he was consistence, influential, and one of the illest. That's enough for me and no one can take that away.

2010-04-18T09:54:00.001-04:00

Banana Flapjacks (taken from Isa Chandra Moskowitz' Vegan Brunch: Homestyle Recipes Worth Waking Up For)

Everyone knows me for making some mean pancakes (I even had a challenger or two duck me out for almost two years after issuing me a challenge - ahem, Meen!). However, as good as my pancakes are, there is always room for improvement. I stumbled upon Moskowitz' book and found an even better recipe. I was asked to pass this along. Here it is. My modifications are at the bottom.

pp. 80-81

2 ripe bananas
2 tablespoons canola oil
1/2 cup of almond milk
1/2 cup of water
2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon of pure maple syrup
1 cup all purpose flour
2 and 1/4 teaspoons of baking powder
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1/4 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

Substitutions: I used agave nectar in place of the maple syrup. You can use vegetable oil instead of canola oil. You can also use soy milk instead of Almond but almond milk makes the flap jacks taste so much better. We have a family of 5 so if you have many mouths to feed, you will have to double up on the ingredients. Trust me, they will tear it up.

Enjoy.

2010-04-15T21:25:00.001-04:00

How Aging B-boys/B-Girls Should be Getting Down: Why we shouldn't get Lil' Wayne

Disclaimer: This post in no way attempts to defend Lil' Wayne (and his supposed magical lyricism which I can't see even after 6 IPA's and 4 cups of rum and coke) or condemn him and those of his ilk.

As some of us reach 40 and almost have children who are heading towards college, a good bunch of us continue to lament about the state of mainstream hip hop music and how great it was back in the day. While I agree that much of what mainstream radio plays nowadays is wack to the nth degree I have to point out that much of what we listened to as teenagers and young adults was just as ignorant, misogynistic, and confounding as what is played today.

When parents complain to me about how their children are listening to "that nonsense on the radio" or that "jigga boo crap" or "that non hip hop they play on the radio," I have to remind them that at one time they were teenagers who listened to music their parents frowned upon. As a matter of fact, our parents listened to music that their parents frowned upon as well as our grandparents who listened to music that their parents thought was of the "debbil." We have to see how that darn generational gap continues to curse us.

A good number of us are now "saved" and acting as if we didn't try to hump one another at those house parties thrown by our friends when their parents were out of town for the weekend. We act as if none of us tried to get it on while listening to BBD's "Poison" or any LL Cool J song about the ladies. For some reason, too many us have these banfangled notions of nostalgia that hip hop was well and good and we "wore pajamas because life was good."

I recall being admonished by an elder for rocking Biggie's "Me and My B****" at a party. I recall secretly listening to "PSK" by Schooly D. How can we forget "Put it Your Mouth" by Akinyele and how it stayed on rotation everywhere we went? Let's not front. We all knew the lyrics to these songs and everyone, sisters included, put their guns in the air when these songs came on. I can jot down a laundry list of songs we all rocked at home, in the whip, and at the clubs. And like Q-Tip said, the only joints we could actually play around our folks was Heavy D.

While I don't find any of Lil' Wayne's "work" to be appealing on any level, I don't get why this generation really digs him. But guess what? Our parents didn't get why we liked the Geto Boys or Ice Cube (yes THAT Disney movie making dude was on some gangsta ish back in our day). Heck, my mother couldn't understand why I would listen to Brand Nubian or X Clan. My mother wanted me to be a merenguero not a b-boy. She couldn't fathom why her oldest son wanted to spin on his back. So we aren't supposed to get Lil' Wayne or Yung Dro or any of those cats who call themselves Young and Lil'.

As we get older, we seem to have personal and political/cultural historic amnesia. Folks tend to believe that during the late 70s and early 80s all was well in the land of hip hop. I have to blame some of this on our terrible schools (again), the mainstream media, and folks wishing they were young again. Some will say that during the Golden Age of hip hop music (1988 until 1992), mainstream radio played "conscious" music. While I agree I will also point out that mainstream radio played a balance of hip hop music. While you had your Eric B and Rakim you also had your NWA's and Too Short's. The only difference between 1988 and 2008 or 1990 and 2010 is that there was a balance in what was being played back then. Today corporations control what is being played instead of unknown artists getting their break because a particular Dj in a particular region thought it was hot.

I don't come from the school that says that music negatively/positively affects our behavior. I do find that a children will make a decision to do right/wrong according to the situation they find themselves in as affected by their family, community, and the set of systems they encounter each day. People don't choose to commit murder because of one song or band. It is much more complicated than that. People don't choose to sell drugs or their bodies because of a song or even a video game. There are systemic ramifications that need to be discussed here. To blame crime and poverty on hip hop culture alone is barely dealing with the symptom. There was crime and poverty and sexism before Kool Herc hooked up his speakers.

Here are two things we should be doing. The first is setting up an opportunity to build with our babies. We shouldn't condemn our children for listening to some nonsense. Actually we should be condemning folks for poor school systems, lack of resources, and poverty since those are the conditions that help create hip hop culture. We should take this opportunity to build with our children and try to at least get an understanding. It is also a great opportunity to introduce them to artists we dig. It is a time where we should share information in that cipher and learn from one another. You would be surprised at what you will learn.

The second thing is building that dialogue not just with your child and his circle of friends but with the local community. In most cities, there aren't many venues for teenagers to express themselves. Here is an opportunity to do that. As parents one of our many jobs is to provide access to resources for our children. So it is our duty to provide an avenue for our babies to express themselves. It's a no brainer. What's dope is that this generation is still creating dance moves, ciphering, and creating their own battle styles off of our foundation. We should be adding on to the cipher not attacking them because we don't understand what they are doing. I know we didn't appreciate it when our elders did the same to us.

2010-04-12T21:56:00.002-04:00

Ethiopian Harrar in the Gem City

Omi's Note: When we first moved to Dayton, Ohio, I had promised to post a few entries about the city. I did this for the first few weeks we were here and then stopped. Well, I have to fulfill that promise. In the next few weeks, I will discuss several local businesses we frequent in the Dayton area. Enjoy!

There are some positive aspects of the Starbucks invasion. The first is that it has made younger generations who might not have considered drinking coffee into a nation of future coffee drinkers. Starbucks has also educated future generations on coffee. In my travels, I tend to look for coffee houses that not only provide quality coffee but a bit of the local flavor as well. When we first moved to Dayton, Ohio, I admit that I did not expect to find it in this economically deprived city. I am so glad I was so wrong.

I stumbled upon Boston Stocker's while at work. Originally, I didn't drink any coffee but I immediately enjoyed the atmosphere. I came back the next day and was in love. The first Boston Stocker location I visited was the Brown Street/University of Dayton (UD) location. The customer service was great. The coffee even greater. They even had my Ethiopian Harrar! Go figure, a small coffee shop in the midwest having Ethiopian Harrar!

I have convinced several groups of people to have meetings there. None have complained. The atmosphere is magnetic. The music selection is wonderful. One day you might hear Bluegrass and the next hour you might hear Motown and the next hour you might hear some some Bob Dylan. You just never know. The decor is post modern. If you have babies, they have everything from coloring books to board games for them. And yes, the WiFi is free!

One thing I noticed about the folks at Boston Stocker is that they actually know about what they are selling. They have favorites and are completely honest about what they like. Whether its tea, coffee, or pastries, they do not hold back. I had baristas tell me which coffees were decent and which one I should avoid. Which brings me to another thing: their pastries! Hands down, Boston Stocker has the best pastries in town! No one else compares. They are made fresh each time they run out. No one, and I mean no one, beats their cheese danishes. Yet the jewel is their Better Morning Muffin. If you are not there by 8:30am, there just won't be any more. They usually run out of dough by 8am. It's that good.

Boston Stocker has several locations throughout Montgomery County and as far north as Troy making it convenient for one's location. The post modern decor found in each place really sets it apart from other local business and it adds a unique flair to each neighborhood. I will say that when I travel out of Ohio, I miss Boston Stocker. The service, the items, and the atmosphere. Loads of groups have meetings at their locations. It only takes one visit and you will be hooked.

2010-04-01T18:59:00.002-04:00

Funk in the Trunk: Who owns a Woman's body?

Omi's Note: I normally avoid writing about the latest "news" in the blogosphere. I enjoy sitting back and marinating in it all and then posting a reply way after the "news" becomes "old news." However, Erykah Badu's latest video for the song "Window Seat" is an ideal opportunity to discuss sexism, male privilege, and the black women's body. Before you read this piece, I urge you to read Sister Toldja's post here. Enjoy and please discuss.

Being the father of a young daughter has been a tremendously eye opening experience. Not just as a father but as a man. Before I even heard of the word, I became aware of male privilege but could not name it as I watched my daughter grow. I immediately began to think: am I going to raise her under the same social mores that dictate outdated gender roles? Will I teach her how to play baseball? Will I teach her how to knife fight or throw the hands? Will I implement stricter curfews then I do with my sons? I am so thankful for having a wife to sit down and discuss these issues. My wife has also pointed out my male privilege.

Coming from a Pan Africanist/Black consciousness point of view, I automatically assumed that like my wife, my daughter would wear 3/4's of cloth. You know, she would be covered. Again, my wife pointed out the fallacy of that ideology. While there is nothing wrong with modesty, the rules come from men and women are rarely asked their opinion. This fact my wife pointed out quickly. While men tend to set up a uniform code for women and their morality, almost no rules are placed on men.

Growing up, I often hear menfolk talk about particular women. The ones we considered modest we set aside and stamped them "the ones we bring home to momma" while the rest we placed in a hierarchy of good girls and bad girls. Of course, the bad girls were the ones we considered to dress like whores. Very short skirts, high heels, and showing cleavage were the uniform of whores. We treated these women with contempt and used them as if they were play things. However, most of us learned very early that one should not judge a book by its cover or as we used to say in the Loisada, "don't sleep on the Catholic school girls..."

As I traveled around the world, I continued to learn that rule. Just because someone wears a nicely pressed three piece suit doesn't mean that person is morally upright. Just because a young lady shows some cleavage and much more hips than one expects doesn't mean she is going to an interview to become a prostitute. Some of the most immoral and vile people I met were those who dress modestly.

One lesson I did learn when my daughter was born was that from the moment of birth, I began to see my daughter in every woman. Yes, even the crack whore on the corner. I no longer saw death in her eyes but I saw the big brown eyes of my daughter looking back. It was tremendously sobering. I began to realize how we menfolk have total rule over our women's bodies. A woman will be abused on any level no matter what she is wearing. Just because a woman chooses to wear pun pun shorts does not mean that she deserves to be treated as a subhuman. I am ashamed to hear men imply that women who dress a particular way are less than anyone else. No matter what we wear, we are human beings.

I heard much of this banter when discussing Erykah Badu's lastest video. I am a huge fan of hers. My daughter is a huge fan. She was literally born to her music. My wife gave birth while listening to "Mama's Gun." When I think aloud and say "I wonder what to get _______ for his/her born day," my daughter replies, "Get him/her an Erykah Badu cd." In our household Badu can do no wrong. In her latest video, Badu again pushes the envelope. No glamor, no make up, no glitz, no expensive lighting or cool graphics. It's just Badu right down to the flesh. I love it.

Even before this video I heard quite a few brothers grumble about her children with several men. While I admit its a bit much but who am I to talk? I have children with two different women as do several of my peers (especially the ones who are grumbling). Heck most of the men who are doing the grumbling aren't even married! Yet for some reason, they feel justified in questioning the morality of Badu. I have even read articles about this! Yet, no one puts folks like Mos Def and other artists who father children with several woman and also claim to be trying to uplift our consciousness (One forgets that even the mighty Che Guevara and Mahatma Ganghi neglected their children -- no one brings that up!). This is a sexist double standard. So when Badu shoots this video all of a sudden she is not "righteous" (something she never claimed to be) or "conscious enough" or "falling off."

It's Badu's body to do what she wants to do with it. Who are we to tell her what to wear or how to make a video? If the song was lackluster, which it isn't, we have every right as fans to be critical of her work. She is a musician. That she has claimed over and over. Yet questioning her morality or stance as a "Queen" (which is a term we throw around too loosely and place on women to attain sometimes impossible standards -- but that is a post for another day) is what we are doing as if we are the Iranian police who walk around and make sure everyone is being an obedient muslim. It's totally and utterly hogwash.

Some might argue, "well what is the difference between what she did and what Lil' Kim or Foxy Brown did?" Simple. What Lil' Kim and Foxxy did was maintain a particulary male patriarchy in the pimp/gangsta motif. Instead of claiming a particular concept whether new or old, they instead chose to mimic. Lil' Kim's earlier work was written by the late Biggie Smalls. Foxy Brown rode the coattails of some of her male counterparts. Badu stands alone and calls the shots. THAT's the difference. Beyonce is known for her body and ass shaking not her talent. Beyonce also adheres to Eurocentric standards of beauty. Badu again calls the shots (note: she wore a do rag in the video...).

In the end, it is about power and male privilege. Unfortunately, it is the black women's body we are attempting to control when it isn't even ours. It's theirs. Women have the right to self determination when it comes to their bodies. Men don't. My daughter and wife are not my property. I am sure my daughter will make the right decisions. I am not worried about that. I am worried however about how my fellow men will percieve her and treat her. That's where the trouble lies.

2010-03-31T18:18:00.003-04:00

Pretty/Ugly
Daniel Joseph

Album review by Dan Tres Omi

When I was younger, I used to purchase a gang of albums even if some of them were albums that none of my peers ever listened to or picked up. This got old quick as I encountered more and more artists whose work was subpar. The internet changed all of this when artist began putting up samples of their music on line. Nowadays there is no excuse to pick up a wack album. After watching Daniel Joseph rock the stage at the Bronx Museum in early February, I did not hesitate to pick up his album right then and there. I still find that the live show should be the foundation of any artists rep. I have stopped buying the music of many an artist who I originally admired and then gave up on after watching more than two lackluster performances of said artist.

As I popped Daniel Joseph's "Pretty/Ugly" into the system, my doubts surged up before the first song even came up. I am glad that those doubts were quickly bashed away by Mr. Joseph himself. With tight production by the likes of the Akai Pros and Sucio Smash coupled with Joseph's witty flow, the album is worth purchasing.

What immediately caught my attention were the samples used by the producers of the album. Some will be quite familiar to hip hop aficionados (I will let you figure them out). It's smooth and laid back. The babies (you know our children are the best reviewers of hip hop albums, trust) enjoyed that alone. Some were familiar and immediately cause the head to nod such as on "Hello, Goodbye" and the first single, "Fly on Paper." Joseph's lyrics although dope are simple. There are no gimmicks there. Just dope rhymes. This is probably why his vocals come off on stage. The songs are short and catchy.

Other highlights include "And I," "Coffee and Cigarettes," and "Moon Light" featuring Syah. "Moon Light" takes it back to blunt sessions while under the influence of Black Moon and the Freestyel Fellowship. My favorite would have to be "Hello, Goodbye," a catchy love tune in which Daniel Joseph tries his darnest to court a young lady. I am sure you all remember. Joseph's album is definitely a throwback to the early 90's when a good number of folks just wanted to make dope music. Pretty/Ugly is definitely something to pump in the whips during the summer. It is sun roof music that will definitely turn heads. While I am the one who refuses to get caught up in nostalgia, I would be a liar if I didn't say how the album does take a brother back. The entire vibe is dope (I said that already...).

2010-03-23T20:44:00.000-04:00

Leading by Example: Parenting and Reading

If there is anything I learned about being a parent after 15 years of being a father, is that practicality works best. Like most scholars, I enjoy learning about the latest study or book on child rearing. Sometimes, it's good to know that the best practices my wife and I put into play are backed up by science. I will admit that sometimes, scientists and I don't see eye to eye. You know the adage: what's good for the geese may not be good for the gander.

Many parents ask me how we keep our children reading. I usually give them a set of practices we apply in our home to help make reading fun and engaging. Some of these work on some children and some of these don't work on some children. Every child is different and every child learns on different levels and degrees. Some children are visual learners and other are auditory. There are so many factors involved and when it comes down to it, each parent knows his or her child much better than anyone else does.

One thing everyone can agree on whether it's a neurologist or someone's grandmother from the old country is that children follow by example. If you ask them not to break the rules, and then you turn around and break them, they will do exactly as you do. So I don't hide when Jehovah Witnesses knock at my door.

If you want your children to read, the best practice is to pick up a book yourself. If anything, you should surround yourself with other readers and discuss books frequently around your children. Not only should you build them a library but you should have one yourself before they are even conceived. You want your children to grow up in a household where books and self education is part of the environment.

In my opinion, reading is like eating. It should be something that should be enjoyed, shared, and discussed. A book should be rated by it's nutritional value as well. So we have to watch what we read. All of our children read because my wife, my siblings, my friends, my co-workers, and I read. Our children also watch us discuss and exchange books with people all the time.
We visit book stores and libraries together and separately. We make a show of it. It's another safe haven for dialogue and a place for us to share information and special times with our friends and family.

So before you yell at your child for not reading, make sure you have a gang of books on your bookshelf. If you don't, put away those dvds and blu ray discs and start on that library. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

2010-03-21T20:08:00.004-04:00

Dear Dad 'Where's the Family in our Family, Today?'
by Ky-Mani Marley

Book Review by Dan Tres OMi

Being the child of a musical icon could probably be a blessing and a curse. While many of us have never experience this sort of attention, we have heard many horror stories of the children of historical figures. It is no secret that Robert Nesta Marley, the figure who bought worldwide attention to reggae music and Rastafarianism, fathered many children from several women while married to Rita Marley. Ky-Mani Marley is the product of one of Bob Marley's extra marital affairs. Ky-Mani's story is one many of us never knew about.

Ky-Mani was shut out of the Marley estate and was never publicly recognized as Marley's son. While some of his siblings reaped the financial benefits of Bob Marley, Ky-Mani and his mother moved to Liberty City in Miami. While there, Ky-Mani dealt in drugs, fighting, and shooting. Like a good number of ghetto youth, Ky-Mani got caught up in the cycle of self destruction. Eventually, Ky-Mani was able to get a foothold in the music industry and was able to get a deal. The rest is history.

While Ky-Mani's story is upsetting and tragic, his retelling leaves much to be desired. His publishing company should have hired a co-writer. Ky-Mani's story is choppy and is very vague. He actually never gives the reader any incidents of his friction between himself, Rita Marley, and his other siblings. He does provide an instance where one of the Marley siblings removes him from his Myspace page but other than, Ky-Mani spends a full forty pages explaining how families should act. He points a good part of the blame on Rita Marley and a statement he made but doesn't give us any details. Ky-Mani rarely provides even fictional names of people and foggier accounts of the good times he had as a childhood.

While it is sad state of affairs when a man as legendary as Bob Marley didn't handle his business before he passed away, it is even more tragic that there is much conflict between the members of his family. While Ky-Mani blames a good part of his exile on Rita Marley, he fails to mention the legal battle Rita Marley (who in my opinion is the rightful heiress to the estate as his widow) fought to regain part of the Marley estate.

To be honest, Ky-Mani's retelling sounds like a huge 211 page rant. I will admit that I picked up the book because it read "the story that the Marley family apparently doesn't want you to know..." on the cover. However, I have read several books about the Marley family and Rastafarianism in general. I thought this would be a nice addition to what I already owned. However, I should have easily passed this one over. If the Marley had issues with the book, they have no worries. There is nothing that is revealing or inflammatory towards the Marley estate. While Ky-Mani explained that he spent a decent amount of time with his famous father once, there is no new insight on Bob Marley or the relationship between the members of the Marley family at all.

2010-03-08T22:36:00.001-05:00

The Real Scary Thing about Commitment

I remember being a bachelor and being told that I was afraid of commitment. I often hear many of my friends explain to me how they were told the exact same thing on several occasions. When I was a youngblood, I was afraid of commitment. Like most of us, we rarely give ourselves a chance to fully understand what it takes and what goes down in a committed and functional intimate relationship. Of course, we are conditioned to just see the so called romantic side of things and are never given even a glance of the seriousness of it all.

The last year or so of our lives has shown me the real scary part of a relationship. I have traveled extensively for work for long periods of time. While this is nothing compared to families who have loved ones on deployment or who work for organizations that require several months of traveling abroad each year, for our family it was huge. We are so used to being around one another. Moving to Ohio was a big move for us emotionally since we left our circle our friends and had to make new ones (another blog post for another day). We also live further away from family and the move has been quite difficult to find those familiar shoulders to lean on. So we drew even closer since most of the time, we depend on one another.

So when I began to travel out of state, it has taken it's toll emotionally on each and every one of us. So far in 2010, my wife and I have traveled extensively and plan on traveling some more throughout the year without one another or our children. Both of us enjoy traveling but dread being away from our children and one another. The last few days, I began to re-evaluate our connection.

I must be clear. This does not mean that I regret marrying her. Yet it is a thought that might answer some questions we might have about committment and why some of us cringe when the reality of this emotional evolution dawns on us. When I am away or my wife is away, I realize how difficult it is for me to function. Due to my military training, I pride myself in being able to sleep anywhere at anytime in almost any condition and being able to function with a few hours of sleep. However, this has changed. When away, I find it difficult to sleep. I find eating by myself to be tedious. I find not having one to share my thoughts late at night to be hard to deal with.

I came to grips with the idea that this is really just co-dependency. This does not mean that because of these things, I was not able to still be me. I was able to do what is required and what is asked of me to the utmost of my ability. I would be lying however, if this feeling did not make me feel vulnerable. I felt very, very vulnerable. I wondered with this co-dependency was unhealthy. Then I remembered that my wife and I have been together as a couple for close to 11 years (our tenth anniversary will be on September 15th).

At one time, I came across a study (one that I can't seem to find at the moment) that stated that widowers who have been married over 30 years are more likely to die after the first 6 months of their spouse's death then any other time. That study came right back into my head. Again, I felt weak and vulnerable. That was the scary part. As men, we don't like to feel vulnerable especially when it comes to our emotions especially when it comes to matters of the heart. This bothered me for some time. Then I had to ask myself, "is being emotionally honest with one's self really a weakness?"

Maori warriors used to greet one another by clasping one's forearm with the other's hand. This was done to allow each person to hold the other's weapons arm. It was a very vulnerable position to be in since one had to pretty much give up their first line of defense in case something went down. I also note that in Gung fu, practitioners bow their heads to one another before a match or sparring session. Both instances demonstrate an admiration and respect towards one another by leaving one self very open to any attack.

Upon this realization, I explained how I felt to my wife as soon as I got home. Why should I not let her know how I feel? Am I not an adult? If I married her, that implies that I trust her fully with that bit of information of how I felt.

I do understand fully how this vulnerablity can be scary for anyone. Co-dependency sounds like a tremendous weakness. When we mention co-dependency, we immediatelly conjure images of addicts at some sort of rehab. Some will argue that this emotional co-dependency can be dangerous. Look at the Stockholm Syndrome. It's a clear example of how emotional co-dependency can be dangerous.

Another scary part I notice is when some of us become defined by our mates. I seen it happen. I find it to be unhealthy. Oftentimes, it happens without anyone inside that relationship noticing it at all. One thing my wife and I make sure is that both of us have lives that although affect our marriage in postive ways, that they are things that we do on our own that help to define us. That was something we were clear about from the beginning. We both are individuals that can actually function outside of our relationship. No one should complete anyone. At times being a parent or a husband can be all consuming. While I am those things, I have to do and be things that I have always been. I will admit that being a husband and a parent affects me being a capoeirista, b-boy, and a writer and vice versa but those things should help strengthen my overall character and make me a better person in the end.

What I can say is that be for who who be for you (big up Heru Speaks for that one). Not everyone has our best interests in mind. I can think of a good number of people who I depend on emotionally who I am not married to or related to. As children, we were very co-dependent on our family members. Not all of them were the best people, right?

I doubt that my wife and I will be one of those married couples who eventually look the same (it is not going down like that, homie!). However, I think it is important that as couples we explore those emotions and discuss them with one another. While we are part of a unit, in the end we are individuals. Having fear is actually quite natural. The thing is not letting those fears overwhelm us and prevent us from reaching our full potential as human beings.

2010-03-02T22:02:00.001-05:00

My 37th Born Day... the things I have learned so far in this Journey called life...

And it goes a little something like this:

1. Love, just do it! -- When I say that I don't mean that we should forget reciprocity. Be for who, who be for you. Today while reading to Zumbi's class, a little girl raised her hand and asked, "can I give you a hug?" I told her no. Not because I didn't want to. I am a hugger, but I know how some parents can get about a stranger hugging his or her child (then again, everyone in school knows me). At the end of the story, she ran up and hugged me anyway. So love, folks. Don't hesitate (just remember reciprocity is important). I gave her a book and challenged her to read it to the class. From experience, I can say that the people who love me back far outweigh, outclass, and outnumber those who didn't.

2. You can't save everyone -- I know, I know. One would think this is a lesson I should have learned already. Well, I actually relearn this lesson about once a week. I can't help it. I am a fanatical optimist. I get it from my mother. On a serious note, this too can be dangerous so we must be careful. Some folks will just drain our energy and not lose a wink of sleep. We also have to choose our battles wisely.

3. "I eat, you eat" -- That is a term I heard over and over in 2009 and now in 2010. I know that with the recession, many of us have reverted to our socialist leanings. Actually, let me rephrase that. We have reverted to the way our ancestors moved. They shared. Everyone came through. Then someone else shared. So on and so forth. We have to go back to that. It's the only way we will survive any disaster.

4. Life is actually long -- So you might as well have fun. I hear people say that life is short. I disagree. Compared to most animals and insects, humans actually live for a long time. Compared to fruit flies, humans are virtually immortal. With that said, take time to learn, to build, to explore, to share, and most of all to love.

5. Put the cell phones and other mobile devices down and talk! -- For those that know me, they know I love to build. Whether I am on line at the bank, walking down the street, or shoveling snow, I am going to build with someone. I think it's a shame that when we are in a large gathering of people, we go to our mobile devices and talk to someone else who is probably sitting around with a group of people. Big up to brothers and sisters on the long, cold line in Brooklyn. I had a great time trying to find Sirius B.

6. Every little bit counts -- the last few years we have witnessed some ill disasters. Yes, it is overwhelming and daunting. However, we still have to give what we can. Many of us are not rich but we have legs. Many of us are not Ph.d's but we can still think. Many of us are not artists, but we can paint, write, type, push, pick up, grab, hand off, etc. Get in where you fit in. Volunteering a few hours a week makes a difference. Trust. Oftentimes, when we think of huge movements we are only told about the leaders of those movements. We are never taught about the countless millions who did much of the dirty work (most of them being women). We are those countless millions who need to do much of the dirty work.

Thank you everyone for having some part in teaching those lessons to me. They will not be forgotten.

2010-03-01T23:02:00.001-05:00

Black Consciousness and How We deal with the Sisters

OMi's Note: This is something that has been on my mind quite a bit in the last year or so. Too many brothers who I look up to and admire say one thing, but actually do the opposite. I have found that among the so called conscious community, we seem to be the most sexist and oppressive when it comes to our women. Many of us in the so called conscious community are closet misogynists but refuse to 'come out.' I also will refrain from defining "consciousness" because that term encompasses folks who are in so many belief systems and cultures that it would take an entire entry to specify. I do expect a large amount of backlash for this. Well, I make no apologies. I speak truth and dare anyone to prove me wrong. I am against the blame game but in this case, I have to make an exception because for some of us this is an issue of survival.

I enjoy building with my sister. She makes me look at things differently even when I am just listening to her speak, she causes the gears in my brain to turn. What's wonderful is that my sister challenges me. It's something that I applied to my friendships. All of her friends can agree with me on that. She is demanding but in a loving way. She asks the right questions and expects the truth. Anywhoos, one evening as I hung out with my sister and my wife, the topic somehow steered into the state of our relationships. My sister pointed out that quite a few of my so called conscious brothers are failing so much when it comes to just even interacting with our sisters.

My response of course was "well, I come from the school that every brother ain't a brother..."

"Well name me a few conscious brothers who are in functioning and committed relationships with sisters, " she answered.

Now I know quite a few functioning and committed relationships. However, most of them are not with people I considered "conscious" or Pan Africanist in any way. I still love and appreciate them the same and don't treat them differently but when it comes to matters of black consciousness or Pan Africanism, I don't give them a call. So to be honest, I was speechless for a few minutes. I thought of only two. Two brothers who I know and love deeply who are in functioning and committed relationships. It is important that I emphasize the word "functioning" because I know quite a few people in dysfunctional relationships. So please keep that in mind. It's a shame that I even have to use that term. However, quite a few of the people I know are not in relationships that are healthy and some are in fact, dangerous. These are from the ones I know who consider themselves conscious.

We often speak of respecting our "Black queens." While this is well intentioned, it really misses the mark. When we say "queens," a good number of us mean "barefoot and pregnant" or we mean a white male patriarchal perception of that idea of womanhood (check "Fascinating Womanhood"). We want our "queens" to submit in more ways than one. While I dislike referring to myself as a "king," I think we need to be clear about how we throw those terms around. Inferring the term "queen," we further perpetuate the myth of the Black Superwoman (a blog post for yet another day). If a woman we encounter does that fit that standard, we deem her less than and consider her a "ho." When we think or say "queen," we even expect a dress code.
This myth of the superwoman denies their humanity and does not allow them the freedom to choose. Women can be poets, playwrights, mathematicians, entrepreneurs, martial artists, etc. When calling them queens we are not allowing them that freedom to choose. It is just slavery by another name.

What bothers me the most however, is how I encounter many so called conscious brothers who masquerade as warriors but are really pimps. They read all the books, attend all the lectures, and know quite a few words in Metu Neter. Yet they seldom apply that information. Of course, there are charlatans in all cultures. However, many will kick the polygamy game or deflect blame onto the sisters. Many of us are also still caught up in the "it's none of our business" approach to our community and turn a blind eye to the abuse. We hold fast to the Christian ethos of being non judgemental despite our anti Christian rhetoric.

We speak of the importance of one of the principles of Ma'at,reciprocity, but continually fail to apply this even when we date. We want to take from our women but never want to give back. When a sister brings up a point, question, or rebuttal, we immediately dubbed them the dreaded "f" word (feminist) and call them all things eurocentric. If the sister is not singing our song of patriarchy and male privilege, they are quickly shunned. There is a reason why women find a good number of us Pan Africanist types full of nonsense and just as bad as those found on corners.

The solutions are simple. We need to hold one another to the standards we are kicking. If I say I am ACTIVELY conscious, I implore those who are on my side to hold me accountable. Reciprocity dictates that I do the same for them. If there are snakes in our temple, we need to flush them out. We need to shun these charlatans and exile them. We know how to do it, we do it to the sisters all the time. We need to give our sisters breathing room. Heck, we need to give them air time on the mic at those lectures. We also need lend a hand in child rearing and household chores. It's about balance right? We must never justify spousal abuse. I often hear too many of joke about it or attempt to justify it.

In the end, it is all about uplifting our community. That is what we need to remember. We are on the same team. It won't work without one another.

2010-02-28T21:35:00.001-05:00

You Know You are in NYC (Parte Dois) when...

1. You can't find any restrooms to use. I really have gotten used to living in areas where you can just walk in and use the restroom. Every now and again you might have to ask, but at least you can still use it.

2. When you do get a bathroom, it's dope to find several tags from several graf writers throughout the stall. I do miss that. "Hey, I know some of these guys..." And yes, I fight the urge to pull out my sharpie and throw something up.

3. T-shirts. In NYC, you can get a T-shirt with just about anything on it. When something big happens, in a few days there are t-shirts commemorating this big event. One thing NYC never runs out of are Tupac T-shirts.

4. People wearing suits and sneakers. The average New Yorker walks 5,000 steps a day. No matter how comfortable your shoes may be, your dogs come home hurting. New Yorkers, who always flip the script, usually wear sneakers to work and change when they arrive. It's cool thing to see. Yet I have yet to run into a brother wearing a suit with some shell toes...

5. People who eke out a living handing out flyers. Almost every corner in the city, someone is handing out flyers for a show, sale, or party. I always take them no matter what. I used to do this as a young blood. It sucked. So I always grab them just to get some out of their hands. Back in the day, I used them to write numbers when I talked to girls on the subway. Now, I actually read them.

6. People who talk to themselves. If you are wondering, none of them are wearing that darn blue tooth. Usually, they start talking when someone makes eye contact. Some people have full blown conversations with themselves. It doesn't spook me out at all. It's very interesting to listen in on some of these conversations. Back in the day, I used to be embarrassed when someone else noticed me eavesdropping. Now I listen intently. You'd be surprise how much you learn from those "conversations."

7. Everyone walking while texting. Or is it Wexting? People are actually moving and weaving through crowds while doing this. Every now and again, I see some of them get shouldered something awful or someone step on their toes, but usually they seem to know where they are going. It makes sense in NYC but not anywhere else.

2010-02-08T19:50:00.001-05:00

Male Privilege, Blaming, and Whining

Contrary to popular belief, most men I interact with actually talk about relationships. They talk about what they want, what they don't like, who they are seeing, and other things that the mainstream media seems to mythologize. We might not make an evening of it and we may not come to huge life changing revelations, but we talk about it. We might not come up with solutions but we learn much about one another. Do I wish we can talk about it some more? Sure I do, but it gets done. We don't always have to reach a logical conclusion or find a solution to someone's problems if there is one.

One thing I take issue with and I am very adamant about is privilege. Male privilege affords men several rights and statuses that are denied women. These rights and statuses are across the board and can be found in religion, work, school, and even our social circles. While male privilege in religion, work and school are things that need to be tackled on a personal and a political level, the ones we can fix much faster is how we interact in our day to day social interactions.

I often find men who are hurt or were hurt by women blame women for mistreating "good" men. I use to believe in this "Woe is me, the good man" Bible. I blamed women, even the good ones, for hurting good men for one reason or another. I blamed part of the "relationship problems" between men and women on those women who "mistreated" good men. The crazy part is that I often hear people, both men and women, make this statement as if it were fact. Personally, I find this excuse to be tremendously ridiculous.

You heard the story, "women mess up good men by mistreating them, that's why alot of men dog women." As if men or women need an excuse to mistreat one another. It again places the relationship problems we have on women. When talking to my male friends and they bring up this tale of woe, I laugh. Pretty much, they sound like whiny children. I don't mean to belittle or demean someone's emotions. To be honest, it would be better to say, "You know brother, she really hurt my feelings...." That would be more honest and gets to the actual heart of the matter.

Sometimes we don't know why people hurt us. We expect other people to get hurt and when it happens to us, it comes as quite a shock. It's easier for us to try to create ideas and reasons as to why people hurt us emotionally when in the end, we might not have any clue. Making assumptions don't help. But to try to explain away all relationship problems by blaming all women for something that happened to you personally its not productive.

So how does male privilege come into this?

We "rebound." We don't rebound because we are detached creatures. Men are just as emotional as women we just tend to bury those emotions. We rebound because we can. In almost all levels and areas in our society, men outnumber women. We can easily find another young lady to date. In most cases, a man just has to have a pulse to get a date. However, the numbers do not imply privilege. What implies privilege is that society (actually people) allows for men to date any desired number of women at a time whereas a woman cannot do the same. It is frowned upon if a woman dates several men at one time. As a matter of fact, it is not taboo for men to sleep with several women at the same time even if he is honest about it.

I often hear my male friends say "I'm a good guy, I don't rob or kill or been to jail." The first thing I say is "don't give yourself props for something you are SUPPOSED to be doing." It is also important to note that 98% of the rest of the population isn't robbing or killing or going to jail.
I also explain that maybe you are not that exceptional. I also ask if this person knows whether the women who "scorned" him was actually feeling him like that. Sometimes people realize that the person their dating is not up to standard. That might come as quite a shock to some of you brothers, but it's true.

That's where male privilege rears it's ugly head. As men, we feel entitled. "What's wrong with me?" we ask. "I'm have a good job, college educated, don't cause any trouble, etc..." "Why did she leave me?" Boo hoo. Ironically, we are quick to blame women in high flying careers for being "too" successful (whatever that means) which we erroneously believe is why they can't find a decent mate. Yet when we are in the same predicament, we blame women again. Well, brother, you might not be all that.

In the end, stop whining and get over it. There is always room for improvement and we can't always win. There is no need to blame an entire gender for it.

2010-02-07T15:28:00.000-05:00

Adventures on the New York City Transit: the Non building session

One thing I love the most about riding the NYC transit system is the looks people get when they see what I am reading. Being away from any form of decent public transportation, I find myself reading on the car or on line with folks who just have no time to build. In NYC, I pick out my books carefully. This time I am reading W.E.B. Dubois' "The Souls of Black Folks." The looks I get are real dope.

While heading to New Jersey on the PATH train system, I encountered a few gentlemen. I would be quite honest that when I started talking to them I was upset and confrontational. Not because of what they said but because of how they approached me. It was three gentlemen, one black and two white. The black man stood next to me on the left while the two white men stood across from me. The shortest on stood directly and practically under me.

"Yo, what's he reading?" Ask Gentleman number 1 on the left.

Gentleman number 3, the shortest one, leans over and cranes his head to read the cover of my book.

"Some guy named DooBuss or something," he answered.

"Spelled D-u-b-u-o-i or something like that?" Asked Gentleman number 1.

Gentleman number 3 nodded.

"Classic," said Gentleman number 1, "I just don't agree with it."

"How so?" asked Gentleman number 2.

"I can't get with the 'turn the other cheek' idea," answered Gentleman number 1.

"What would you do then?" Asked Gentleman number 2.

The train stopped as if by my mental command. I wanted to get into the conversation but my stop was the next one. The conductor advised the passengers that we would be delayed for at least 15 minutes. That was my opportunity.

"Excuse me," I interrupted, "I am curious to know your opinions about DuBois' book."

All three grew quiet.

"This book," I pointed to the book in my hand.

"Oh," Gentleman number 1 'realized,' "I don't know if I read that book or not."

"You think? Cause you sounded sure earlier even though no where in this book does Dubois discuss violence or non violence."

"I don't think I read it," he stammered, "I might have gotten him mixed up with Martin Luther King."

"So which one of his books did you read?" I asked.

I noticed his friends laughed. I looked at them and they stopped.

"What books by any African American authors have you read?" I asked them.

They both looked at each other and shrugged.

"None at all?" I probed.

"Nah," said Gentleman number 3.

"Speak up, man!" I demanded.

"None!" Both of them spoke up.

"That's white supremacy at work," I said.

"Hey! I am not racist!" Exclaimed Gentleman number 3.

"Didn't say you were," I countered. "As a matter of fact, you don't have to be a bigot to support white supremacy/white privilege."

"What do you mean?" Asked Gentleman number 1, "I have known these guys for years...."

"Well," I interrupted, "the same sh**y education system that says we have to read Shakespeare, Steinbeck, Faulkner, etc. but not any non white person is part of white supremacy. I can go through life without reading any literature or history of anyone non white and still function in this society. This education system implies that people who look like you or I have nothing meaningful to contribute to civilization."

"That doesn't sound right," entered Gentleman number 2.

"Why not?" I asked.

"It doesn't."

"So what if I was to say that from now on, you have to read dr. bell hooks, Malcolm X, Dubois,
Audre Lourde, Fanon, etc. and no literature from white men? Would you like that?"

"That wouldn't be right," stated Gentleman number 2.

"But it's right if it was the other way around?"

He said nothing.

"I tell you what, for the month of February you should at least make an effort to read the book by someone other than a white man."

"Any suggestions?" Asked Gentleman number 3.

"Oh yeah!" I almost shouted. "The first one that comes to mind is 'The Autobiography of Malcolm X' as told to Alex Haley."

I saw their faces flood red.

"I don't think so," said Gentleman number 3.

"Why not?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"If I told you that Pad Thai was good, would you eat it?" I asked.

"I might," he answered.

"Well you wouldn't know if you didn't try it," I continued. "I am not asking you to become enlightened and bring racial harmony to the United States of America. I am just asking you to do what white folks didn't ask me to do but expected me to do."

No one said anything.

"If I am asking too much, you can always read Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States of America.' That's one white cat even white folks didn't want us to read."

The doors open and it was my stop.